Rocket Man
by SlothBeans
Summary: Tony Stark has to face the realities of his own distant past when he finds himself caring for his new son, Peter Parker. Unsure if he can face the scars built from his own father and past, he locks himself away to pursue a career of heroism. Meanwhile, Pepper Potts adopts the boy and raises him as her own. (Story finished, but subscribe for 2 future bonus chapters!)
1. The Adoption

This story revolves around one man and the family he builds from nothing. A world similar to the one you may know, but with one little puzzle piece changed and a never-ending spiral of butterfly effects that change everything around him.

Tony Stark - scared and alone - in a grueling world that has only ever pushed him deeper towards the depths of his pain and suffering. Raised in a world of negligence and fear, closed into himself from a childhood that was never really his, to begin with.

A man soon to be tormented by his past crashing in around him, but with the chance to grow from the ashes and reform into the hero he could always be - his only chance to truly become something great.

His only comfort, the woman that keeps him in check. The woman that saves him from the mess he's created. The woman he so desperately desires that he never makes a move - he just can't afford to lose her - but will fervently continue to protect from all harm. The only one he can trust.

It's her heart and soul that keeps Stark Industries running, unconcerned for the lack of credit she receives in return. Because behind every great man, is an even greater woman. She's the one with the great ideas and heart of gold. It's her true never-ending passion and love for his family that keeps Tony working towards a brighter future.

And it's her attitude that keeps him on the right path despite his bachelor lifestyle. It's her stubbornness rooted in love that keeps him from missing out. Because out of all the times she promised she'd be there for Tony Stark, this is the one time she fights back.

 _Pepper Potts._

And then there's the bright little man that was created from a miracle.

Tony Stark had never wanted kids. His own fucked up childhood had been enough to convince him of that. Children were work. And if his parents couldn't handle the pressure, how could a failure like him ever figure it out?

But the one little fluke changes everything. Something fails and in the process creates something larger and more wondrous than ever before. Life is created. Beauty is created.

 _Peter Parker is created._

And at that moment everything changes for Tony Stark. He can no longer wallow in his misery, drowning in a never-ending supply of alcohol and beautiful women. He needs to face the mess he's made because there's only one way for this to end. And it isn't good.

Peter doesn't need Tony Stark. Peter Parker needs a family that will be there for him and loves him as he grows. He needs a support system for the horrendous unforeseeable future that faces him. Only then can Tony Stark and Peter Parker truly be at peace.

A ragtag group of lost souls that find hope in one another and unexpected love in the tiniest of places. A family formed from nothing. A need for love.

The story starts in the same place you'd expect, the same origin story of a man of iron, destined to someday take control and lead a movement of supers. It starts with one man who is only a mortal with potentially universal intelligence, but too stupid to see past his traumas of experience. A man named Tony Stark.

And while he has the potential to grow into the world's first protector, he isn't quite there yet. There's something all too disgusting and reckless about him, but necessary nonetheless, because it gives the man a chance to spread his genes and ignite the spark needed.

A simple one night stand that plants the seed for something better, something more. Something new. Something beautiful. Something different from everything he's ever known before.

It's Peter. The man created a boy by the name of Peter Parker. And it somehow becomes the most magnificent thing he's ever had a hand in creating. (And he did it by mistake.)

No one's sure how it happened. He wasn't supposed to be fertile. It was something meant to be avoided completely. Not even the doctors can explain the strange phenomenon.

But, the small event has the impact of changing the entire universe forever. Things shift in this world. Because now everything is different. Nothing will ever be the same.

And in that singular universe shifting moment, Tony becomes a father.

He has no idea that it's even happened yet. He hasn't a single clue that his life has so dramatically changed for the better. He leaves a business card with not enough information for her to ever find him on her bedside as sneaks out of the hotel as nothing has changed. (Because for him, nothing has changed. Nothing ever changes after his one night stands.)

It changes her world though. She's acutely aware of what happened the night before, but it's made blatantly clear by the business card that he doesn't want to be contacted. He owes her nothing. And she quickly decides that she owes him nothing either.

She's not even acutely aware that she's pregnant until months later when she realizes how late her usually uneven cycle has become. She's ashamed and unsure of herself but decides she can care for this baby. She can give him a home.

She doesn't contact him. He doesn't deserve any of her time. He made it clear that he wasn't interested in anything else but sex from her. And she's already decided she owes him nothing. He doesn't even deserve to know this child exists.

His money would be nice, she'd be entitled to child support at the least, but she wonders if the action is worth it. By involving the man that wronged her, she's signing up her son for a life of media attention and custody battles. It isn't worth it. Instead, she takes care of the baby alone and she struggles to keep them both fed.

She names the baby Peter Parker after her late grandfather who she never stops thinking about. They share the same bouncy brown locks. He has deep brown eyes and the most innocent smile she's ever seen before. He's smart and ahead of all of his peers and speaks his first word at eight months. She loves him so much it hurts.

And then she dies. And no one really knows how or when. No one really cares that much or notices when she doesn't come to work that night. It isn't really important to the story.

Only it leaves the State with a last-minute whisper of the father's last name in between final dying breaths. It leaves a lost baby crying for his mom with no hope to ever be held by her again. It leaves a partly orphaned child with little hope of succeeding in life in a completely fucked up system. It leaves so many people lost, including little Peter Parker.

And that's where our story truly begins.

* * *

Tony Stark doesn't answer phone calls. He doesn't need to. He has people for that.

All he does in response is turn up the volume of the music in his lab. It continues to ring over and over, but he's too deep in his latest weapon schematics to notice. He needs all his focus if he's going to make this next prototype worthy of his father's legacy.

He's too busy in his own headspace to realize the time or the intensity of the repeated calling. Whoever is on the other side of the line is desperate. It's a desperate act at three in the morning that shouldn't be ignored.

All he can do is continue to work. He ignores the phone as it rings over and over again, the blasting of the music just loud enough so that he can only feel the slight vibrations as his phone glides along the workstation. Whatever the nonsense is can wait until tomorrow when he's finished. What he's doing right now feels much more important.

He's arms deep in grease and a new invention and hasn't slept in at least thirty-six hours. He's arrogant in his new creation, so close to cracking the one problem that he dangerously needs to overcome. And he isn't about to break his concentration on something so unimportant to him.

Eventually, the calls stop and he can resume his work. He leaves the music blasting anyway. It calms him as he works.

He's not sure how long he gets to work in peace but Pepper finally comes to interrupt him with an urgent matter. He doesn't hear the stepping of her high heels approaching until it's too late. She's already entered his lab and manually override the music so she can be heard.

A growl escapes from his throat as he looks up at her to demand what is so important. This is his own personal haven that he prefers to keep empty and he just wishes she'd respect those boundaries, but when he looks up the anger quickly drains from his body. He can't snap at her that way. She's just too good. Too perfect. His tough persona melts every time he sees her eyes.

"Tony, why haven't you been answering my calls? I've been trying to get a hold of you all night," she tells him as she rounds the large workstation, a tablet in her hands as she scrolls through some important document. Her tone is firm and direct, but professional all the same. The same Pepper he's always known.

"I've been busy," he retorts, though he's unsure how to explain the new surge within him at this very moment, how he has to push to create something that will impress the father he never had. The drive is so strong that he can barely close his eyes as he lays in bed at night. He needs to invent now. He can't stop until he's finished. It's the only thing pushing him anymore.

Pepper doesn't push the matter further. She can see it in his eyes, even if he refuses to admit it. He's tired and this isn't the time to urge him to rest. He won't listen.

But she also doesn't forget the reason she's here. The reason she's been calling him for hours until she finally gave in, getting dressed and visiting him at four in the morning.

"Someone from New York Department of Child and Family Services has been trying to get in contact with you all night. I'm not sure what it's about, but I told them I'd reach out to you."

Tony only nods to himself as he tightens a bolt on his newest weapon. Honestly, he isn't even fully listening to the conversation between him and Pepper. She already has the full power to take care of the problem and Tony will blindly listen to her judgment no matter what she chooses. He trusts her completely with his company. Him being CEO is just a paper title at this point.

"I spoke to them for over an hour as I tried to get a hold of you. It seemed really urgent," she continues as she taps her fingernails on his workbench in an attempt to distract him. When that doesn't work and the room stays quiet, she switches to tapping her stylus to the tablet, unsure of how to bring up the news. There's nothing for her to do. The action just gives her a breath of normality against her otherwise racing heart.

Tony can't help but notice her uncertainty. She's usually so sure in her actions and words that Tony can't help but feel impressed. It is unlike her to hesitate and it immediately draws his attention, though he does his best to act like he doesn't care.

"Let me guess? Another momma looking for baby money?" he laughs at his own joke, though Pepper finds herself less entertained with how many times this has happened in the past. It's been a while, but she can remember when this scam used to actually worry Tony. There's a long line of women that he's defiled with his bachelor lifestyle.

"The mother is dead, Tony. She was found stabbed in an alleyway last night and passed away this morning as they tried to help her. She didn't even make it to the hospital," Pepper reported somberly. The details from the phone call still muddied her thoughts. It had sounded like a very avoidable tragic accident.

"Oh," he replies, now a bit more careful of his tone. He'd had more jokes lined up, but they suddenly seem inappropriate, even for him. "I still don't understand what that has to do with me, Pepper. Why are they bothering me about some drunk driving incident?"

"She died clutching a one-year-old in her arms, apparently it was her child. He'd somehow avoided the worst of the crash. And on the way to the hospital, she whispered to the ambulance drivers his only living kin. She claims that you fathered him."

Tony stops completely. He's frozen as the tool slides from his panicked unsure hand. It bounces off the ground with a large bang, but all he can hear is the blood pounding in his ears.

He seems frozen in his own time, unsure of how this is even possible. It can't be possible. He got snipped years ago. He's been tested many times since. He isn't supposed to be fertile anymore.

He's flashing through his own childhood. It feels hot, red and angry. The same rage pulses through him that only his father's neglect brought on. The same hatred that reminds him that he can never do the same as his father did to him.

All he can do is hastily murmur out that he has no son.

"Mary Parker seemed to think otherwise," Pepper replies.

His head is pounding. All he can do is throw back his glass of rum that he prepared earlier. It's warm, but it has to do something to clear his head. He has to figure out this puzzle.

Who even is this Mary Parker? When did he meet her? Is she using him for child support? Is this some kind of cruel joke? He doesn't remember ever having a one night stand with anyone by that name, though he knows he's usually too drunk to listen. And he usually doesn't care for the name of the women he's sleeping with. He should, but he just doesn't.

Tony huffs through his nose. He can't deal with this right now. He's not ready to deal with it all. He can feel his heart tightening in his chest as he's pulled back into his own baren fearful childhood that he's tried so hard to escape. The emotions are too overwhelming and he doesn't have enough booze in his system to deal with the pain he knows is coming.

"Send in a sample so that we can get this sorted out and cleared off the record. We both know that this isn't even possible," he demands. He's barely even able to look up from where his hands grip the table. "I can't have kids. Not anymore."

"Already done," she says as she taps a few buttons on her tablet. "I've sent a sample to a private lab to be analyzed at your expense. The results should be in tonight."

"Good," he replies, nodding to himself. "The sooner this is over, the quicker I can get on with my life. I have work to do," he says in hopes of dismissing the conversation entirely. This isn't possible. He doesn't understand why it's even become this much of an issue.

"And what if he is your child? What happens to him then?" she asks quietly. She's already invested in the fate of the boy, already attached to the baby she's heard so much about, even if it was only a single phone call as she hastily searched for clues.

She already feels like she knows Peter Parker. She feels something strong drawing herself towards the half-orphaned child. She can feel herself being bonded to him.

 _"He's got deep brown eyes unlike any I've ever seen before."_

 _"His hairs long and curled and brown and dances with his movements."_

 _"He's very smart for his age. He already can walk and knows so many words that we can barely get him to stop talking. He's practically teaching us at this point."_

 _"He never stops moving. He's always exploring."_

 _"He's weird sometimes. All the toys here and we found him playing with a spider in the corner."_

 _"He loves everyone."_

Tony doesn't hear. If he does, he doesn't say anything in response. He sits in the dark lab with his face in his hands, more unsure of himself than he's ever been before.

Eventually, Pepper gives up and leaves. She's not getting any more words out of him this morning. She knows he's lost, but there's nothing more she can do for him this morning.

Only once Tony's sure that he's completely alone, does he allow the tears to trail down his face. He cries out all the loneliness and pain left in his chest. He cries until he's completely empty.

* * *

It's six o'clock in the evening.

Tony sits in his living room with a drink in his hand, the strongest scotch that his money can buy. It claws at his throat as he pours it down his throat, but the strength of the drink is just an all too painful reminder that he isn't as strong as he needs to be. He embraces the burning sensation as it smooths its way down his throat, as long as it brings tingly numbness that will rest his tense muscles.

He's sitting hunched over in a large luxury chair with Pepper Potts on stand nearby, together patiently waiting for the results of the tests. It's felt like weeks have gone by since Pepper sent the samples to the lab, but lack of sleep has only stretched the single day, warping it into one the longest most stressful periods that Tony's ever experienced before.

Tony is unsure of his future, even more so than usual. He knows this is a ruse, a trick that's he's been playing straight into by entertaining the idea of having his own offspring. But something deep down is hopeful, something so far gone that he can't help but believe the trick may turn out to be true. It wouldn't be less painful, but it'd be a lot easier.

Pepper doesn't know how to feel. She's torn between her own developing feelings and the loyalty she's demonstrated for her boss for so long. What will happen to this boy when all this is over? Where will he end up?

She's talked to the caseworker twice now. She's heard Peter's voice giggling along in the background. Her heartstrings tug towards the boy who's now alone in the world, with no family to rely on. It takes her back to her own past where she spent days in a foster home, wondering if any visiting guests would ever find her worthy of a spot in their home. She tries not to dwell in the past, but it doesn't feel good to think about.

She also knows it isn't her place to say anything. This isn't her battle. This is Tony's decision alone, no matter how wrong she thinks she is to abandon this child in need. Instead, she sits quietly as she refreshes her email over and over waiting for the results of the test.

Finally her phone dings and Tony raises his head expectantly. Pepper carefully opens the email, her hands tender as if she can rip the theoretical envelope the news resides in. Her heart beats in her chest as she skims the contents. It only takes her a few moments to scan through the results for him.

"Tony, the tests are positive. He's your son," she finally whispers to the room.

Tony shakes his head. It can't be true. This isn't true. It isn't possible. This isn't supposed to be possible. He can't accept these results. Something must be wrong.

He's upset in so many ways. The alcohol in his system does nothing to calm his rage. He feels like vomiting but squeezes his fists instead. He needs to punch something, but he just can't afford to lose his cool with Pepper so close. She deserves better.

"It was a complete match. There's no doubt he's your boy Tony. Isn't that great?"

"I can't keep him, Pepper. You know that right?" he asks her, his voice terrified.

The room is quiet. Painfully silent. She can feel her heart breaking in her chest but pushes it deep down where her boss can't see. She needs to stay strong right now. She can't afford to break down alongside Tony, no matter how much she's yearning to do so.

Pepper doesn't understand. She'd thought this would be what he always wanted. He had been devastated when he'd been declared infertile. It'd sent him on a four-month bender that nearly ended in his death.

 _"There will never be a proper heir to Stark Industries. When I'm done, this will all be for nothing. The suffering will be over for the Stark Legacy."_

This should have been great news. The universe was practically dropping a child into his lap.

But she can't see how terrified he actually is inside. She doesn't know that the infertility was purposeful in a desperate attempt to stop the cycle of abuse. She doesn't know that binder was him grieving the chance of ever being happy again, but also a celebration to a new peaceful era.

She can't even see how much scotch he's actually drunk tonight. It's the only thing keeping him from retching his stomach contents all over the floor, his past traumas swirling beneath his skin. It's the only thing keeping him under control.

"Why not?" she asks quietly, though she's already aware of the answer. She could never convince him to go through that type of pain again.

"Are you kidding me, Pepper?" he asks in response, his words slurring a bit at the end. "I can barely take care of myself, let alone a child."

"But he'll end up in foster care, Tony. He'll have no chance in this world. He'll be unloved and abandoned with no one there for him." Tears are forming in the brims of her eyes, but she holds back the sobs that fight through her chest.

Tony takes another chug of his drink and ends up downing the entire contents of the glass. It's the only way he can sooth the tugging in his chest and get his next words out.

"I'm sorry Pepper. There isn't much else I can do. I'll leave him a trust, some money for his future when he turns eighteen, but he's going to have to go into someone else's custody. I can't take care of him."

"He doesn't need money, Tony. He needs a family…"

Tony just shakes his head. He can't do it. He can't be the family this boy needs.

"I can…" she says. The words just flow out with no chance of her stopping them, but it's true. She means every word she says. "I can take care of him."

"Pepper. You can't raise him. You aren't his mother. His mother is dead," his words are harsh from his drinking, but it doesn't matter to her. It doesn't change that she wants to be there for him when no one else can.

When she doesn't reply, he continues. "I don't expect that of you. You already do so much for me. You aren't my nanny too."

The room is quiet. Pepper doesn't like fighting with her boss, but she has to say something. She can't let him pass up his only chance at a son. She can't let Peter's only chance at a happy home life slip away. She hasn't even met the boy, but she needs to keep him safe.

"Do you trust me?" she finally asks.

"You are the only one I trust in this whole company," he admits. "You know that."

"Then let me adopt him. Let me be his mother."

Pepper can feel her heart beating away in her chest. She can barely hear the room around her as it pounds in her ears, but she does hear his words anymore. His voice is unmistakable as he says the one thing she isn't prepared for.

"No."

* * *

Pepper follows her boss into the dreaded office building where the boy will be signed away forever. She keeps her eyes to the floor as she opens the door for Tony, still unable to muster the words to speak to him again. She knows if he didn't need to sign paperwork to surrender custody of Peter, he wouldn't even be here right now. It angers her to even think about.

Tony Stark sits down in a public cubicle as the caseworker begins explaining the paperwork in greater detail to him and walks him through the intensity of his decision. There's a large emphasis on how permanent the decision is if he decides to sign.

Pepper can barely stand to listen to the words the two men are discussing and finds herself wandering away as she fights back tears. She can't let Tony see her like this.

She's not sure why she's so attached to Peter Parker without ever seeing him.

Possibly something in her own upbringing and the way her adopted parents loved her so much, at least they did once they found her at the ripe age of seven years old. The first seven years of her life had been a monstrous hell she could barely muster the courage to think about.

Or maybe it's the idea that Tony is signing away his only chance to be a dad. Maybe she just can't stand to see an innocent child get hurt when she can do something about it.

No matter the reason, she has to admit the effect this decision is having on her. Her heart is breaking into bits of sand that won't ever be the same again.

And then something pulls her attention. Nearby laughter. Not just any laughter, but the laughter of a very young child. It pulls her towards it like two magnets fighting to stay together, forcing her towards it like destiny, like it was written in her tapestry by the gods themselves.

She rounds a corner quickly and finds a young Peter sitting at a small child sized desk with a puzzle that just won't seem to go together. She's unsure if all the pieces are even from the same set, but he laughs anyway as he tosses a piece at the social worker across from him.

The laugh works quickly its way through her heart and she feels her face soften. She can't help but find herself laughing too. The boy's energy is contagious.

Peter turns his head towards her laughter and his face brightens instantly. She can't help but notice that he does has a full head of floppy brown hair, just like the caseworker described, and the deep brown eyes he possesses. She sees it instantly. He looks so much like his dad.

The boy pushes himself from his chair and crawls over to Pepper. He's speedy for such a little guy. Just like his father when he's on a mission.

He reaches his arms up and calls out for his mommy. Pepper can't resist lifting him into arms and holding him close, though she hasn't yet realized that Peter was calling her mommy. She doesn't yet recognize the resemblance, though she can't help but think about how perfectly they fit together as he nuzzles his head against her neck. They're perfect for each other.

He even purrs in satisfaction.

Pepper can't. She just can't leave him here. He's all alone and he needs her.

 _He belongs with her._

She rushes around the corner, still holding Peter tightly in her arms, and finds Tony about to sign the final piece of paperwork. One signature and Peter's lost into a careless system, unable to ever be saved or returned to them. One more initial and he's gone forever.

"Tony," she shouts at him before it's too late. Peter flinches a bit from the noise but she sticks her hand in his hair to comfort him. She hums to him gently and he relaxes into her once more.

Tony turns his attention across the room, unsuspecting of the bundle of joy she's holding so close to her body. He sees Peter for the first time.

His heart skips a beat as he sees himself holding onto his own mother, the only bit of family he was ever close to. The only person he could ever rely on. It leaves him stunned long enough for Pepper to beg him one last time.

"Please, don't do this," she begs, running her fingers through Peter's hair. "You don't have to do this alone. We can figure this out. We can be his family" Tears stream down her face as she cries all the emotions she's been holding back.

She knows she has no say in the matter. She has no legal protection if Tony doesn't agree. She would have no way to adopt this boy without Tony's help. This could be the last time she ever sees Peter, the last time she holds him close in her arms.

The room is quiet. Painfully so. No one dares to talk, even if Pepper knows she's spoken out of line and pushed it too far this time. This wasn't her decision to make.

Tony shakes his head and her heart starts to break. She can feel it splitting into two and she holds onto Peter tighter than she ever should, her maternal bonds screaming to keep him safe.

She's not sure if she'll fight and scream when they take him away. She doesn't want to. It isn't like her, but every instinct in her body is telling her to protect the boy. To keep him safe.

And then Tony speaks.

"Alright. You win. We can take him home."

The office seems to resume at his words. The social worker switches out the paperwork for custody forms that agree Tony Stark will be responsible for Peter Parker. The child's well being will be his solely his responsibility in a court of law.

He signs the papers willingly, keeping his eye on Pepper the whole time as she rocks Peter in her arms. He seems stressed, but there's a fondness in his eyes that wasn't there before.

Pepper knows she should be listing out things they'll need to order on the way home. Things to be delivered to the house to care for Peter, but she can't focus just yet. She just needs to remember this moment forever.

She's too busy staring into Peter's eyes. His deep brown beautiful eyes that remind her so much of the man she loves. The eyes of Tony Stark.


	2. Parenting Pains

Peter Parker became a media sensation overnight. A national sensation that everyone was talking about.

 _"Billionaire's Big Mistake,"_ the biggest tabloid magazine reads. The font's so large no one could possibly miss it. Pepper sure doesn't. She can barely believe her eyes as she sees the article when shopping with Peter on her hip the next morning. He's innocent as he sits in the small shopping cart and bites on a stuffed spider she's just picked out to match the red and blue color scheme of the room she's designing in her mind. No one seems to blink twice as they check out with the items. The cashier even compliments how cute they are together.

She needs to remind herself the media was never after Peter. They don't care how they affect the young child or how the lies they create may one day hurt the boy. All they care about is Tony. She was used to bad publicity, but they seemed to be taking it too far this time. She knew this was too much for the family to ignore.

They can accuse Tony of being reckless and dangerous all they wanted. She's already used to the bad publicity the man tends to create for himself. He's done so many things before that change the world's view of him. As if the weapon dealings weren't already enough to scare the world, the man seems to leave a trail of upset women trailing behind him. And that's never been a problem until now.

They could accuse Tony of being an asshole. They could accuse Pepper of being a slut that slept through the ranks of Stark Industries. The one thing they couldn't do was attack Peter. She would no longer stand for the slander.

Because when they attacked Peter, when they claim he's a mistake made only by Tony's lust and greed, it breaks her heart. She has to hold him close as the article brings out anger that she's never made before. They've gone too far in their attempts at making a pretty penny. Peter can never see this. He can never feel like he's just a mistake. He isn't. He's a beautiful child and she has to do all she can to protect him. She can't let anyone ever hurt him this way.

Pepper's whole world changes when Peter comes into her life. She suddenly feels whole and complete. Like a gap in her heart had been filled by him. She had never felt like she was missing anything there before, but there's something suddenly changing that she doesn't have the words to describe. An immediate unbreakable bond between mother and son. An undying love for her bouncing baby boy.

When Pepper leaves the store and that horrible magazine behind she makes a promise to herself. No matter what happens, no matter what challenges are thrown at her little makeshift family, she will always be there for Peter. She will always be there to wipe his tears, to defend his honor against bullies, and to keep him safe from harm. They will face life together.

Tony Stark becomes a parent overnight too, though at first, his interactions with Peter are limited at best. He wants to be there for his son, he wants to be everything that his father wasn't, but he doesn't know how. Every time he looks into Peter's eyes, waves of hopelessness seem to wash through him. He can feel his own shitty childhood rushing through the gates that he was previously sure were locked forever. He feels even more broken than before. He just isn't ready to face those fears yet. So instead, Tony locks himself deep in his lab, shameful for being no better than his father before him.

He's scared. And helpless. The most he can hope to accomplish is doing less damage to his own son than his father. He knows he isn't ready to raise a child. No one ever is. But the thought of Peter rotting away in some government-run foster home is almost too much for the man to muster. It pains his heart to bear what could have been.

This isn't the boy's problem. This is Tony's mistake. Peter shouldn't have to suffer because of a bad decision Tony Stark made.

And Tony isn't alone. He has Pepper to care for his son. He's overly thankful for Pepper for what she did in that building, for not standing down when it came to taking care of this mess. He's not sure what he'd do without Pepper in his life. She's always there to take care of him, to pick up the messy pieces that are the jigsaw puzzle of his life. And now she's here for Peter as well.

Maybe they can make this work. Maybe they can truly become a family.

* * *

Life changes in Stark Tower with baby Peter running up and down the halls. Pepper swears he never stops moving. She's always on her toes as he runs down the large penthouse suite doing her best to make sure he's safe and sound. She's anxious whenever she can't see him nearby. He turns out to be a little trouble maker sometimes, but she loves him nonetheless. She can't help it. His laughter is contagious. She wouldn't have it any other way.

She makes the adult decision to step down from being Tony's assistant which comes as a shock to most of the company. Many had been betting she would become the heir to the company as rumors that the relationship between the two had been blossoming behind closed doors. Pepper ignored most these rumors, though the image of them suddenly adopting a child together didn't help to cool the flames. She doesn't care what a bunch of board members think anyways since she knows where her priorities now lie. Taking care of her new son is the right move for her.

Tony complains. He doesn't like finding someone to replace her. Pepper was perfect, but she tells him that he'll have to make due. He can run the company himself or find someone who can assist him like she used to. He can always find a new assistant. Peter can't possibly find a new mother figure.

Pepper moves in to remain close to her new family. She's always rejected Tony's luxurious lifestyle before and finds herself laughing as she moves into a giant master bedroom suite designed for her. The bed is so large that it could fit them both, but she knows this is her room alone. When he brings up the idea of them sleeping in the same room she'd simply brush him off with an excuse about the baby crying during the night. She needs her own space for now.

She fills her room with all the things that make her happy. She's brought a few pictures from home, a stuffed animal from her own childhood, and some of the fancy gowns she's worn to Stark events in the past. The corner also has a crib for Peter, even though the boy already has his own special room too, but having a space for him so close makes her feel safe. Here she can be herself without Tony's influence. it's a place to build her future as she sees fit, a place to rest after long nights of childcare, and finally, a place to retreat when things become rough.

She often finds herself thinking about Tony while Peter sleeps in the corner of her room, pondering how the new situation and the implications it creates in their already complicated relationship. Her bed in Stark tower is especially large and empty, even if she did have someone to share it with. It reminds of him. The media seems to assume that they're a couple. And she truly does love Tony Stark, but he seems uninterested in the going on's of their new little family. She's barely seen him since Peter moved in.

She feels alone in the big empty bed, but wherever Peter lives is her home now. As long as they are together, she is with a family who loves her. It's a small broken family that she's created on her own, but still a good family. And that is enough for her.

Peter starts crying down the hall and she's pulled from her gentle sleep. Her body has never grown a baby, but the high pitched cry is sharp in the back of her mind. It screams at her instincts, pulling at every maternal programming in her. Her baby is calling to her. He needs her. The panic is small but growing as throws her duvets off of her body in an attempt to quickly get to him. She'd put him to sleep in his own room only hours ago despite every instinct to keep him close since Tony wanted to talk to her, but he never seemed to show up on the agreed time anyway.

She's relieved to see him perfectly safe in his crib when she spins the corner and enters his room. Seeing her is enough to stop the tears from flowing now that he knows his mom is here to check on him. He even seems a little too proud as his plan worked. He had fake cried to get his momma's attention. The boy is just too smart for his own good, something Pepper can only blame his father for.

He stands at the side of the crib and jumps up and down with the crib bars in his tiny hands, demanding his mother's attention. He's like a little warrior who just won't stop until he wins. "Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!" he chants as the crib slams from his movements. She can only roll her eyes in response as she moves towards him.

"Hello, my baby boy," she coos as she lifts him from the crib and cradles him in her arms. He becomes calmer once he can hear her heartbeat so close. He knows he's safe now. He nuzzles his face into her neck and Pepper relaxes as she breathes in his scent. They hold each other close for a few moments. Neither is aware of the lack of blood relation between the two. At that moment, all he knows is that his mom is there for him.

She's so like his real mother that he can't tell the difference. Pepper is warm and loving and everything he can remember about her. Both had sweet milky scents that made him feel protected. And when he nestles real close, he can feel the same protective heartbeat pounding away in their chests. This is her. This is his mother.

It takes a few moments but she quickly realizes the reason he woke up was a dirty diaper from the formula she'd recently fed him. He had quite the appetite, even for a growing boy, which was fine because she had quickly learned Peter was a bit underweight compared to other children in his age bracket. The doctors were unsure of the cause but had some suspicious in malnutrition before he arrived in their care.

She places him down on the changing table as she gets started on cleaning the mess he's made. He's strapped in so that he can't roll around, but he always seems to find some kind of mess to make as she works to clean him up. She undresses pulls off his shirt and tosses out his diaper while talking to him soothingly the whole time.

"Do you like that? Do you like the cold air on your tushy?" she jokes. She knows he can't understand her yet, but the giggle on his face as she gently blows on him is enough. He stares up into her big eyes with his own as he reaches for the baby powder and she can't help but smile back at him as she puffs a cloud of it next to him for him to observe. He's so cute and innocent as he watches her bounce around him.

When she turns to grab another diaper, Peter reaches for her golden locks in an attempt to put them in his mouth, but she's not falling for that trick again. Instead, she shakes his toy spider in his face. The spider jingles and crinkles as she shakes it for him. "Do you like that Peter? Do you like your spooder? Are you my little spider boy?"

Peter struggles a few times to say spider, but it isn't quite coming out correctly. He can barely say mom reliably, but she repeats the word for him anyways. He struggles a few more times before his attention is pulled elsewhere. Pepper quickly seizes the moment and manages to pull a shirt over his head and stick his arms through the sleeves.

She picks Peter up to take him into the living room to play a bit. When she turns with Peter in her arms, she's shocked a bit to find Tony in the hallway watching over them. She jumps a little but manages to keep Peter safe in her arms as she waves a little wave towards the dark hallway.

Tony looks run down, even more so than usual. There are large blistered bags underneath his eyes and he seems like he can barely stand without falling over in exhaustion. It must have been days since he's last slept. Pepper hasn't seen him for most of that time either. Tears are glistening in the corner of his ducts and she's unsure if they're happy or sad tears.

"Would you like to say hello to him?" she asks gently. Seeing Peter might be what he needs to accept her new lifestyle.

She rotates Peter in her arms to look at his father. The boy blinks groggily as he pulls himself from Pepper's neck and turns towards the hallway to see who's there. His big brown eyes search for something as his mom murmurs gently into his hair. Their eyes lock from across the room for a few seconds and Pepper can feel the emotion it brings to them both. They're kin.

Before she has a chance to say anything else, Tony turns suddenly and leaves them alone in the quiet room. She exhales a sad sigh for them both.

"Your daddy loves you," she whispers in Peter's hair, "He just doesn't know it yet."

* * *

Time passes quickly in the empty house as she raises her son. Peter is growing every single day and quickly becoming a young man before her very eyes. He's full of energy and she constantly finds herself tripping over his toys, but she wouldn't have it any other way. He's the perfect image of a growing boy.

"Good morning Mistress Potts. Today is young sir's third birthday. Please do not forget guests will be arriving at noon to celebrate the day," the AI announces as it gently plays her alarm in the background. She's set up the reminder since her days tend to become pretty hectic once she's up and moving. This way she won't forget anything from her son's busy schedule.

"Thank you JARVIS," she says in a kind voice as she drags herself from her bed and rubs the sleep from her eyes. Her eyes feel overtired from the long previous night. Pepper had stayed up to prepare special snacks for his upcoming birthday party in an attempt to impress the other mother. She never seemed to feel adequate around the rich crowd. Hopefully, her work will be worth the time.

There's something more important in the day to her anyways. She's ecstatic to be celebrating the day with her son. She can barely believe that Peter's already turning three years old today. It seems like just yesterday she was taking him home in her arms. And now she'd spent nearly two years with the boy. Two years with them bonded by the hip filled with kisses and hugs.

As the friends and family start to arrive and quickly surround the boy she finds herself wondering how many of these people actually are here for her son's special day. She's overjoyed to see such a turn out as she shows off their fancy living quarters, but she can't help but wonder how many are just here because of the last name attached to the boy. She wonders if she's doing the right thing. is she teaching him to surround himself with the right type of people, even at this young age? Maybe he should only be surrounded by those who truly love him for who he is inside. (At least Peter seems to enjoy the mound of presents that everyone has brought him.)

Moms surround Pepper with questions about her love life. She shrugs most of them off as she prepares a large cake that Tony ordered for the boy. The cake is comically giant and could cater a large conference instead of the small gathering this is supposed to be. It's covered in the colors of Peter's room with a large rice crispy spider molded on top of it to match his favorite toy. She can't help but roll her eyes as Tony announced that it was the boy's birthday gift. She's was busy making sure everything would be perfect that she can't believe she let Tony get so carried away with something like cake.

Children from Peter's playgroup run around the living room and laugh carelessly as they speed around the large room. Furniture shakes as Peter holds his spider plushie in his hand and chases his friends around the large couches. They laugh and scream as the game goes on and on. They're a bit loud, but Pepper watches them from the corner of her eye to make sure everyone doesn't get too out of control. And she knows they're in safe hands since Happy follows closely behind to make sure no one bumps their head on any sharp corners.

"I'm so happy to finally meet Peter's father," one of the women remarks.

It takes Pepper back a bit. These moms are all highly aware that Tony Stark is Peter's father - it isn't a secret with how public the adoption had become in the media - but she's clearly referring to the man playing along with the little spider games. Is it to meant to be a question about their unique family dynamic or a strong jab towards Tony's absence? Unsure of herself, Pepper decides the best course of action is to just play dumb.

"Oh no. Happy isn't Peter's father. He's just a really close family friend, like an uncle," she informs the gossiping hens. Some seem satisfied, but the same woman keeps digging.

"Oh, my mistake. It's just the way he plays with him, you can tell that he loves Peter so much. They must really be close."

Pepper nods hesitantly as a reply. It is very true that Happy's been a strong father figure in Peter's life since day one. The moment the boy was unexpectedly brought into the limo, Happy has been a wonderful friend to their little family. He fell for the boy's charm almost as quickly as Pepper had. Through all the changes in her life, he's been there to support her. Whether be it a ride to the store or a friend to talk to with a glass of wine, Happy has been there for Pepper. And she's thankful for every bit of Happy's support.

"Will we be meeting Mr. Stark tonight?" the mother asks when she doesn't receive a reply.

'That's it,' Pepper thinks to herself. That's why they're all here anyway. They were never here for Peter. The wealthy trophy wives are only here to see the famous Tony Stark.

"Mr. Stark is a very busy man. I don't think he'll be visiting us tonight," she admits. She doesn't want the wives anywhere near him, though it pains her to admit that also means Tony will miss his son's birthday party. She tries not to dwell on the hurt. She's done nothing but urge the man to be part of the family, but he's still broken beyond repair. All she can do is wait.

It's clear the conversation about Mr. Stark is now over. They start with some other gossip she isn't interested in. Pepper can't be bothered to listen to their closet whispers anymore. This isn't the type of person she wants to be. And besides, she has an enormous cake to finish prepping.

When everything is ready, she calls the children over for cake and ice cream. The cake is gorgeous and she waits a few minutes as the other mothers take photographs before cutting into the thick icing. Each corner of the cake is a different flavor, but she's sure to cut a slice of Peter's confetti cake corner since it is his birthday. She knows it's his favorite flavor.

The company sings happy birthday to Peter, though she knows it's mostly the work of the energetic toddlers from his playgroup. The boy seems especially energetic today, jumping up and down as he blows out his three candles, and she wonders if he really needs any more sugar today. Those big eyes are unable to resist though.

She kisses Peter's head as she presents him with his own slice. "Happy birthday Peter," she whispers in a loving tone as she places a gentle kiss on his head. He digs into his cake and ice cream hands first as he jams a piece into his mouth. She laughs as she returns to make sure all the other children get cake and ice cream too.

"JARVIS?" she asks as she starts handing out plates to the adults.

"Yes, mistress Potts? How may I assist?" the AI asks the room. The room is silent for a few moments as the guests try to figure out what is going on, though she sees a few jealous looks from the more snobby moms. Most of the quests are in awe, staring around the ceiling to see where the voice is coming from. Only Peter and Happy seem unconcerned.

"Can you ask Tony if he'd like a piece of cake? There's plenty left since he ordered so much."

"I will ask him," the AI replies. It's quiet for a few moments before it speaks again. "Sir would like to know if the cake is covered in children's spit from blowing out candles."

Pepper stifles a laugh. Only Tony Stark would worry about such a trivial thing. (She secretly wishes she had thought of saving him a very spitty piece herself.)

"No. Happy's eating the piece Peter spit all over," she jokes. Most of the moms are now uninterested with the conversation, but Pepper watches as Happy turns away from his mostly eaten cake, unsure if he should finish the last bite. He seems overly suspicious as he forks the last bit of icing into his mouth. Pepper can't help but chuckle out loud as she winks at him in return.

"Sir says you may send him down a piece of cake," the AI announces to the room.

The room somehow becomes even quieter as the mothers turn and stare at Pepper. Most of them would do as they're told, but she can't help but dig in her heels, knowing how to deal with her past boss too well. He's not pulling this shit today, especially with all these uptight mom's watching over her every action. She's the head of household today.

"JARVIS, please tell _sir_ that if he wants a piece of cake, he can get off his lazy butt and come get it himself."

The room is silent, but it returns to its normal rhythm quickly enough. Despite her earlier reservations, Pepper still wishes that Tony would be here for their son. Peter seems happy enough as he opens his gifts, but there's something about a father's love that Pepper knows she can't provide alone.

She doesn't hold her breath too much, knowing deep down that Tony can't be bothered enough to come to get a piece of cake or see his son play with his friends. She isn't too concerned about it. Peter barely ever sees the man and won't even notice that he isn't here. Sometimes she wonders if Peter even understands who Tony is.

That's why when the party starts to slow down and everyone heads home, she finds herself surprised to see Tony in the corner of her eye-grabbing a slice of cake from a leftover container she's already put away. Pepper sends Peter to his room to get dressed for bed. She's ready to tear into the man for missing their son's birthday for some stupid invention once again, but in the moment she can't find the words.

"What are you doing here?" she asks defensively instead. She doesn't need to upset Peter on such a special day. They already walk such a fine line when it comes to their relations. And if a fight breaks out in the kitchen with Peter so close by, she'll only have herself to blame.

"Cake," he replies as he forks another bite into his mouth. "You did offer me some earlier. Or did you forget already?"

"You know what I mean, Tony. I offered you the cake hours ago. Why suddenly now? After all this time, why are you here?"

"I… I wanted to wish him a happy birthday," he says in reply as he chokes back a sob. She moves close to him a bit to comfort him, but stops in her tracks. This isn't right. She can clearly smell alcohol on the man's breath as he speaks and she's unsure of how to reply. She truly wants him in Peter's life, but not like this. Not while he's drunk. It screams against every one of her motherly instincts.

"You can't see him like this Tony. You can't be drunk around him. He's only a child," she says in a harsh whisper. She can't believe that he spent the day drinking in his lab while his family was here celebrating.

"Mom?" Peter shouts from the end of the hall. His voice isn't desperate, just curious. She had promised she'd be right behind him.

"I'm coming honey," she calls back as she moves closer to Tony. The tension is killer as she looks him in the eye. There's so much venom she wants to spit in his face, but she's seen this before. Tony's spiraling. She'd be there for him if she wasn't so busy with Peter and she blames herself the littlest bit. She places her hand on hand tenderly on his chest as they sit there for a few moments together in silence. She wants to tell him how it's okay for them to trust each other now, how it's okay to be loved. She wants to be there for him and support him. She wants him to feel whole again.

She wants them to truly be a family.

She waits too long though. Peter spills out of his bedroom unaware as he interrupts the moment. Pepper has to pull herself away from Tony. He's still mildly drunk and she doesn't want him around Peter at the moment. She gives him a chance to escape like usual, but he doesn't move. He stands perfectly still as Peter wraps himself around Tony's leg in a hug and looks up at his father with his large brown eyes.

"Hey there buddy," he says as he strokes his hand through Peter's hair. His voice is rough and strained, but kind nonetheless. Pepper can see as he fights through his struggles, unable to make eye contact with his own son. The scene tugs at her chest, but she knows that this isn't the time for her to push him. He's unpredictable when in this state.

"Come on Peter. It's bedtime," she says as she grabs the boy's hand a little too roughly and drags him back towards his bedroom. The boy whines that he didn't get to say goodbye. Pepper flashes Tony a dirty look for interrupting their bedtime routine.

Once in the room, she helps Peter change out of his clothes and into a pair of new Superman pajamas. They brush their teeth together, though it's Pepper that does most of the work for him. She's happy to make sure he's all clean and ready for the day ahead of him. He has a playgroup scheduled and she knows it might be a lot of drama, so the sooner he's asleep, the better. She reads him a quicker than usual story and kisses his forehead before telling him she loves him.

She's almost out of the room when he stops her in her tracks. Peter usually asks all sorts of questions before bed and tonight is no exception. He's just eager to learn about everything around him.

"Mom?" he says sleepily. She needs to return to her conversation with Tony, but can't resist answering at least question for him.

"Yes honey?" she asks as she stands at the light switch, ready to flick it off. One question is all she has the time for tonight and she tries to make it aware in her stance that it needs to be something quick.

"Who was that?" he asks in the most innocent voice, blatantly unaware that moments ago he was holding onto his father's leg.

Pepper's heart cracks in two. He shouldn't have to deal with this. He shouldn't have to ask who his dad is. He should just know.

"That's your dad honey. He loves you very much, but he's very busy with work. He's a very busy man you know."

"Oh," Peter answers in return. He seems satisfied with the answer, but her hearts still breaking under the pressure. She's unsure of what to say without breaking either of their hearts, so instead, she lies to him.

"Your daddy is a really busy man. He works super hard to make sure you have everything you'll ever need and take care of us. The house, your lucky charms, your legos. That's all from daddy," she tells him with a forced smile. It's enough to make him feel that his dad is at least doing something. She hopes it's enough to settle the ache in the boy's chest for a bit longer.

And it isn't a complete lie. Tony's credit card does provide for them financially. Money has never been a problem.

Peter doesn't question her any further. He just tucks his face into his pillow and yawns deeply. He stops fighting the sleepiness and finds his eyes drooping closed pretty quickly. It's been a long day and he's too tired to fight off sleep anymore.

Pepper returns to the kitchen to continue the conversation, but she finds it empty once more. The empty container that once stored cake sits in the sink where the man once stood. On the counter to the right she finds a box of mega blocks with a sticky note attached that reads "~To the Birthday Boy" where Tony once stood. She huffs to herself angrily.

Peter hates mega blocks. He calls them legos for babies. If Tony had spent any time with his son, he'd know that.

But, at least it's something. At least he's trying.

* * *

Pepper isn't sure how to feel about Tony's newfound involvement in raising Peter.

She wants Peter to be happy. She truly does. He shouldn't have to worry about a distant father or the complications that come with parents that live in two separate rooms. He should have a father he can learn about the world from and grow with. He needs a real dad.

But at the same time, she's suspicious of anything that may harm her son. She's raised him alone for so long that accepting his help is difficult. She can still see the distant look in Tony's eyes when he's around his son. He closes himself off to any true love from his son, though Peter doesn't seem to notice anything weird about the way his father acts. The two play together, putting together Legos and talking about whatever crappy children's show the boy's recently watched. Peter shows him his little dances he's made up which at least earns a smile from his dad.

Only Pepper can see Tony's mind ticking away in a time so long ago. Only Pepper is terrified of the pain this may cause Peter. Only Pepper is afraid at what may never happen.

"I'm just saying that we can afford better for him Pepper. The private school really might be what's best for him," he says as he sips coffee at the kitchen table.

Pepper shakes her head as she prepares breakfast for the family. Peter will be up soon and she isn't having this argument again. She's already put her foot down about this. She knows Peter best and public school will be just fine for him. (It was good enough for her and she turned out just fine.)

"He'll be with his friends from the playgroup," he argues. He's too calm as he says the words like it's a simple fact.  
"Peter doesn't have any friends in the playgroup. The moms only come here to ogle at your money and good looks Tony, but they don't really care about Peter. They're vultures," she huffs. There's a reason she's separated herself from that crowd. She just can't stand the drama the circle entails anymore. "Don't you notice how we're never invited to their house in return?"

He doesn't notice. He's too busy with other things. Tony Stark always has something more important going on.

"The private school will watch him in the afternoons when he's done school. It will give you time to focus on yourself. Maybe you could return as my secretary? Don't you miss working for me? You were so good at your job. Carol isn't really working out," he murmurs to the room.  
"I don't need someone to watch Peter. I can watch him myself. I can spend time with him. It'll be good for his development," she argues in return. She's trying to keep it from being personal, but she can feel her resentment towards Tony growing with every word. "I'm a full-time mom now Tony. I'm sorry she isn't working out, but I won't be returning to Stark Industries anytime soon..."

It's too easy to judge these things when he isn't actually involved in raising Peter. It's so easy to judge when he has no idea of the day to day life of raising children.  
She's about to continue winning the argument when little Peter comes around the corner with his blanket trailing behind him. He's already rubbing his eyes as he tries to adjust to the bright kitchen lights. Pepper gives Tony a look that signals the end the conversation before welcoming preparing the final touches on their breakfasts. It will not continue with her four years old right here.

Pepper helps Peter into his booster seat as she serves him some chocolate chip pancakes piled high with syrup and extra whip cream. He digs in eagerly without giving them a chance to cool. He's a bit of a messy eater, but she's scheduled a bit of time to clean his messy face before they leave.

"Are you excited for your first day of school?" she asks when he finally takes a moment to breathe. Whip cream sticks to the sides of his face as he slowly shakes his head. The boy looks down at his food, his long bangs hiding his eyes from his parents' view. He doesn't seem too upset, but the shy behavior is still unusual for him. She wonders what could make him feel this way.

"How come? What's wrong?"

"I'll miss you, mommy," he says in reply. His tone is somber for his age, but she can't help but smile at his response. She'll miss him too.

"I know Peter. But you'll love school. You'll get to learn lots of cool stuff and you'll make lots of friends. They might even have new lego sets for you to play with," she encourages. "And I hear afterward that we're going out for ice cream."

He seems to accept her words enough to keep eating his pancakes as nothing happened. Pepper looks at Tony, concern still in her eyes. She's debated pushing this off a year or attempting homeschooling, but she knows deep down that this is the best option for him. She's just nervous about him away from him for so long. Her eyes beg Tony for the support she desperately needs.

"Your mom is right, you know. You're gonna have a great time."

As they drop their boy off at the school together as parents, Tony can't help but reach out to Pepper and put his hand on the small of her back as a comforting gesture. She leans deep into his touch as tears gather in her eyes.

"Everything's going to be okay Pepper," he soothes.

"I know," is all she can reply.

Everything will turn out just fine.


	3. Sunflower

Every time Tony Stark suggests hiring a nanny, Pepper digs her heels in and refuses. They don't need a nanny. She doesn't want a nanny raising her son. She's hurt by him even suggesting the idea.

She can't blame the man for the lackluster parenting solution. He hasn't experienced anything different in his lifetime. He's a man who spent most of his childhood being raised by the help and women paid to care for him. His parents did the best they possibly could, but she there's something unique about a parent's love that Tony needed in his development. It's something that Pepper's committed to providing to her own son whenever possible.

That's why, as she sits at the dining room table reviewing nanny applications, she feels horribly guilty for what she's about to do. This isn't what she wanted for Peter. This isn't how she wanted him to be raised. She was supposed to be the one caring for him. She was supposed to be his mother.

But, at this point, she has no choice. Her hand is being forced. She's playing a card she never even considered as an option.

It's been weeks since she last heard from Tony. It's been weeks since she heard his voice. She's spent weeks wondering if he's even breathing or if he's even alive anymore.

Initially, she's annoyed when he doesn't call her home. He was supposed to talk to Peter that night. Peter misses his father so much when he's away. He itches to hear his father's voice, even if Tony never knows the proper thing to say.

She's even more annoyed when she continues to hear nothing for days at a time. She's angry and can't help but linger on the man's unwavering loyalty to the family. She should have never let him out of her sight. The man's likely in some fancy hotel room somewhere schmoozing it up, covered in women that adore him. Drinking his problems away without his family to hold him back. She fumes at the thought.

All her anger floats away when she learns what's really happened, that this isn't another example of his constant negligence. On the way back to the plane, his convoy was attacked by a large terrorist organization. Tony Stark has been taken hostage. There were people out searching for him, but there was a large chance that she may never see him again.

She needs to stay strong, needs to keep hope alive and be the rock that Peter relies on, but she finds it becoming more and more difficult as time moves on. She's becoming more and more convinced that she may never see Tony again. She feels like an empty shell of a person as she fights to stay faithful.

Her promises are empty. Her heart is broken. She's scared and alone. She needs help.

She considers herself lucky to be surrounded by the remaining members of her family in this difficult time of need. It's their love that keeps the family together.

Peter can sense something is wrong. He does all he can to cheer his mommy up whenever he catches her silently choking back tears. He's vaguely aware that his father's absence is what causes her tears, but he's uninformed of the extent of the danger his dad faces. Instead, he brings his mom scribbled pictures of their family and makes sure to give her lots of extra hugs until his dad returns from his business trip. He tells his mother he loves her as often as humanly possible.

Happy visits often as possible. He's not only missing his boss but a friend that he cared for dearly. The least he can do is care for Tony's kin in this difficult time of need. He continues to dedicate himself to caring for Pepper and Peter in his spare time. He even takes over as Stark Industries' head of security and prioritizes the penthouse suite. Happy is sure that if Tony was here, his family's safety would be of top concern.

Ned's mom has also been invaluable. Pepper has to admit that though she was a bit nervous meeting Kai at first, the women has brought a glimmer of hope that Pepper can only be thankful for. She's been an extremely supportive friend to the family while she tries to hide the truth from her son. She provides temporary childcare for Peter in the form of sleepovers and enough wine to numb the pain she feels inside.

(She's was especially overjoyed to see Ned and Peter bond so closely. Every young boy needed a best friend who he can trust and Peter is no exception. She feels a lot safer knowing his time at school is filled with jokes and lunchroom chatter.)

That should be enough people to care for Peter. She shouldn't need to hire anyone else, but with Tony missing and a company worth of responsibility fallen on her shoulders, what else can she do? She has no choice but to consider a nanny. She has no choice but to trust Peter's care in the hands of someone else as she runs Stark Industries.

She'd been surprised by a large applicant pool in the beginning, but the pay is good and she's ensured the job provides top of the line benefits, so she can't be too surprised at the results. And while the long list of names bodes well for her high standards, it doesn't make her job less difficult as she skims her thumb down the list of names.

 _Natasha Romanoff_

The name seems familiar on her tongue. She's heard it before. he does her best to dig through her mind as she reads over the qualifications. The woman seems under qualified for the position, but she already works at Stark Industries in a highly guarded department. Everyone in legal is required to sign a non-disclosure agreement, which makes Pepper feel a bit better about. If she's trustworthy enough with Stark Industries dirty secrets, surely she can be trusted with the Stark's private lives too.

Pepper quickly schedules the interview for later tonight as grabs her phone. It buzzes in her hand with a reminder that school is ending soon. She needs to pick up Peter. She rushes out of the large office and politely declines any hallway chatter as she heads to pick up her son.

* * *

Pepper barely makes it in time back to the school as the bell rings. Children come rushing into the schoolyard as she pulls into the crowded parking lot. She steps out of the car just in time as Peter throws himself into her arms and holds himself close enough to hear her beating heart. The thoughtful action spreads a smile over her apparently overly tired face.

"I see someone had a good day," she says as she peels Peter's backpack off his shoulders and tosses it into the back seat of the car. She takes a moment to compose herself, forcing herself to smile positively when she's around her son. He doesn't deserve to see the stress that's been plagued upon her, let alone the horrible night's rest from the day before.

"Ned and I are just super excited to go Build a Bear!"

Only now does she notice the other boy standing shyly behind Peter and the morning's promise dawns on her. After another busy night of work with so many more nights to follow, she had promised to take the boys to make bears after school.

It'd been a frantic attempt to keep Peter distracted when he'd started asking about when daddy would come home that she begins to regret as her phone buzzes in her pocket once more. She's only been gone from the tower for twenty minutes and she's already being flooded with messages from board members asking where she's gone. There's a meeting in progress that she's desperately needed for and they're demanding her presence.

She sighs as she feels herself being torn in two for the millionth time since Tony's absence. She's prioritized Tony's company so many times in hopes he'll return and be happy with her commitment that she's found herself losing herself in the process. Not this time though.

"Are we still going? Ned already picked out his name," Peter says as they get situated in the car. He can feel his mother's despair fully as she leans over to make sure he's properly buckled in but doesn't want to press the issue. He knows there's a chance the trip might be canceled. He understands she's doing her best.

Pepper forces a smile as she double-checks Ned's buckles. The boys absolutely can't see her in this state. She needs to stay strong so that she can keep her family together. She sends a quick text that she won't make the meeting before starting the car.

"Don't worry. We're still going. I promised we would build bears after school. And I always keep my promises," she tells the two boys. They jump in their car seats in excitement.

She forces herself to ignore her phone as it buzzes the majority of the ride to the mall. It's easy enough to do as she listens to the two boys chatter along in the back seat of the car, but her conscious still pulls her in to take care of Tony's legacy. Her heart pounds with anxiety as she does her best to stay focused on the task ahead.

She knows the investors are upset with her for accidentally forgetting, and then purposely avoiding, but she has no other choice. She's doing her absolute best to balance the unexpected burden of a company with the boy she loves so much.

She can only hope that things will settle once she has a nanny to rely on and help aid her in raising Peter. Then she'll have some a bit more time to decide what she wants to do with Tony's company. She'll have time to breathe and think.

She tries not to think about the difficult choices she'll have to make if Tony never returns.

* * *

She holds close as they make their way through the busy mall. It's packed with people looking to shop and a place to hang out. Teenagers are starting to arrive and fill the small space loitering as Pepper works her way towards the store, doing her best to keep both of the children safe.

(She can't help but imagine how Tony would have offered to reserve the entire mall for the small occasion. And how she would have denied the offer. They didn't need an entire mall to themselves. That's just silly.)

"Are you going to make a bear mom?" Peter asks when they're close to the store. He's trying to pull his hand free from her grip, already sensing the presence of the store.

"Maybe. I'm not sure yet. It depends what they have to pick from," she entertains. She knows she likely won't build anything. She has too many emails to answer while the children enjoy themselves.

"Maybe we should build a bear for when dad gets home? So he doesn't feel left out?"

Pepper can feel her eyes welling up at the suggestion and has to turn her head a bit as she attempts to blink the sadness from her face. She struggles to keep her composure and is thankful for the distraction as they approach the store. It should be enough to distract the boys from her teary eyes.

"Go ahead," she whispers her permission. The two boys run ahead to the store as Pepper takes a few moments to gather herself and quickly wipe her eyes on her sleeve.

Peter and Ned scan the display of large bears as they attempt to decide which one they want to take home. There are so many options and Peter is a bit overwhelmed as he inspects each furry animal. All of the display plushies are tempting in their own ways.

Peter eventually settles on a black and white border collie. His love of dogs shines through as he tries to choose a cooler design like a dinosaur or tiger, but the cute little puppy eyes keep dragging him back. He uses the excuse that Builds a Bear donates a dollar to a dog charity if he selects it, but everyone knows he just really loves puppies. (Pepper makes a mental note to donate even more money to the charity when this is over in Peter's name.)

Ned takes a bit longer to decide. He keeps finding himself drawn to a black jaguar that sits on the farthest left of the bear display, but he knows this is where they keep the higher costing bears. It's an all too familiar feeling when he selects a cheaper bear from the right side of the display.

"Why are you picking that one? I thought you wanted the jaguar. You picked out a name for him and everything," Peter questions when he sees Ned return with a simple brown teddy in his arms. His friend had talked all day about the limited time feline.

"It's too expensive. My mom only gave me thirty dollars," he admits as he pulls the wrinkled bills from his pockets. It's shrugged it off like it's no big deal, but that just doesn't sit right with Peter. As someone who's never had to worry about money before, it's just now dawning on him that others don't always get that courtesy. Not everyone comes from a family with money.

Peter excuses himself for a moment and finds his mother. He's still holding the plush dog plushie skin under his arm as he finds his mother in the corner. She's sitting on a small children's chair as she answers emails on her phone. She biting at her lower lip as she types away on a high tech phone, but pauses when she notices her son.

"Did you come to show me what you picked out? I can help you stuff it if you want," she says as she stuffs her phone back into her pocket and focuses her attention on something more important.

He shakes his head as leans into her lap and starts whispering into her ear.

"Ned says he doesn't have enough money for the jaguar plushie. If I promise to do some extra chores this week and be really good, can I have some extra money to give Ned?" he asks politely.

The corners of Pepper's mouth lift in compassion as she peaks a glance in Ned's direction. She's already planned to cover the costs for both of the boys, but she fills with pride at Peter's suggestion. She pulls him close into a hug before responding.

"Of course we can do that honey. You two get can whatever you want and we'll figure it out afterward, okay?" she tells him before she sends him back to the stuffing station.

She watches as Peter tells Ned good news. His face immediately lights up as he returns the bear and picks up the panther. When they're both ready at the stuffing station, she joins them and takes a few pictures with their empty plushies.

"Hi there boys. I'm Samantha and I'll be bringing your plushies to life today," the employee at the station introduces. She has a kind smile and Pepper watches the process with tired eyes. This is the first time she's ever seen the process, though she knows Peter has come here for a few birthday parties on previous occasions.

"Are we celebrating something special today?" she asks the boys as she begins preparing the plushies to be stuffed.

"My daddy is on a business trip, so mom brought us here to build bears," Peter chimes to the employee unaware and Pepper has to keep herself from physically cringing. The words dig deep and she has to keep her emotions from showing.

"Mr. Stark will be home soon though," Ned adds, clearly repeating the words he's heard Peter say so many times before. The two boys have no clue about the situation.

Pepper looks over at the employee with begging eyes. As their eyes lock from across the small space, it's clear that the employee now recognizes the family that stands before her. The news of Tony Stark's abduction has been impossible to miss. There's an air of understanding between the two adults before she returns to face the boys.

"That's good," she continues. Her voice falters for only a quarter of second as she forces herself to remain upbeat and create an enjoyable experience for these two oblivious children. She's used to dealing with upsetting scenarios in this line of work.

Samantha holds out a small plastic container filled with silk hearts and instructs for the boys to each choose a heart for their new friend. They dig around in the bin as they search for the perfect one. Peter picks a plain red heart while Ned picks out a red and white plaid design.

The employee takes the plush skins as she prepares the boys for their heart ceremonies. Pepper pulls out a little video camera and records the entire event. She's been doing her best to record the high points of Peter's life for his return.

"Hold your heart in between your hands to warm it up real good."

"Now squeeze your firsts a few times to give your bear a heartbeat.

"Rub it on your funny bone so it's silly!"

"Rub it on your hair so it never has a bad fur day!"

"Rub it on on your heart for lots of love!"

Pepper giggles the whole time as she watches the boys shamelessly dance with the little hearts in their hands. It's such a silly process, but they seem to be having a blast bringing their new toys to life. Joy fills the entire room as she watches Peter smile. She can't help but feel helpful for the momentary distraction.

"Now give it a big kiss and make a wish," finishes the employee.

Peter takes a moment to think of a worthy wish. He already has everything he wants, so he's a bit unsure of what to wish for at first. He's got lots of toys, he gets to eat all his favorite foods for dinner, and his mom's always there for him. Then it dawns on him. Something is missing from his life.

' _I wish daddy comes home soon,'_ he thinks to himself as he plants a big kiss on the heart.

The employee sticks the tiny hearts inside the bear and uses the machine to fill the bears with stuffing. Peter finds himself amazed as he steps on the pedal and stuffing is piped into his new puppy. He watches the machine in awe as he wonders how the machine works and keeps asking questions about how the stuffing is piped into the skin.

After a quick bath and brush session, the boys find themselves in the clothing side of the store. There are even more options now and she watches as they around pulling pieces off the racks as they try to decide what works best. Pepper's appreciative for the neverending amount of clothing to distract the boys.

Peter's dog is a bit more difficult to dress than most of the bears on the shelves, but he eventually finds something that fits its feral form. He fits the dog with sneakers, roller skates that snap onto the sneakers, and a collar/leash set. He seems to have discovered a way to make the dog follow him around as he drags it around the store.

The outfit is a bit pricey with all the pieces, but the joy as he's followed by his new plush toy is worth every penny. His mom also throws in a dog house for Peter, as well as a brush and cleaning set for both the boys so that they can take care of their new toys. She's doing her best to not spoil the boys too much, but money isn't really a problem she wants them to worry about.

They're nearly finished. The boys now sit at the naming station as they type names into an ancient looking computer. Peter struggles with a name before finally naming his new dog Dummy.

"You can't name him Dummy, Peter. That's not a nice name," she corrects him.

"Daddy named his robot dummy," he says in return. He's not fighting her, but if daddy does it, it must be okay. She doesn't' know what to say. She's always hated the name.

"You don't want to be like daddy though."

Peter changes the name to something less meaningful, thinking to himself the whole time about how wonderful his dad is. He doesn't understand what his mom is saying at all. His dad invents robots and works with machines. He's always there to provide for the family. He's the celebrity of their home, Stark Tower.

He wants to be just like daddy when he grows up.

* * *

Pepper tucks Peter into bed with his new stuffed puppy and a movie for him to watch. She usually doesn't allow the privilege of a bedtime movie since it'll keep him awake in the late hours of the night, but she needs to guarantee he stays in his bedroom tonight. She doesn't need him finding her over and over to ask her questions.

"I love you mom," he says as he hugs his plushies close. He feels extra safe tonight with both his spider ploosh and his new puppy guarding his bed.

"I love you too honey," she swears as she gently closes the door behind her.

She takes her few moments of spare time to tidy up the house in a hurry. Natasha is arriving soon for the interview and she doesn't want to be judged based on the cleanliness of the large suite. She's had so little time to clean lately and the house has become quite messy.

The living room is still blanketed in toys and bits of half-assembled legos, but at least she's had enough time to flip the dishes and throw laundry down the shoot by the time the doorbell rings. She fixes her hair before rushing to answer the door.

With the door unlocked, a small red-headed woman through the doorframe confidently. She wears thick high heels that give her an air of danger despite gentle green eyes hidden behind smoky eyeshadow.

The woman carries a folder full of papers and notes for the interview. She can't help but feel impressed senses the same confidence that once boosted herself through the ranks.

"Natasha Romanoff," the woman says as she reaches her hand out in greeting. She's the first one to break the silence and Pepper is appreciative.

"Pepper Potts. It's nice to meet you, Ms. Romanoff." The two shake hands and Pepper can't help but admire the strength she possesses. She seems like a woman who has her life together.

"The pleasure is all mine, but really, Natasha is just fine."

"Can I get you anything to drink Natasha?" Pepper means for the interview to be more formal, but she has a good feeling about the woman's character. They seem very similar in nature and Pepper generally has a really good instinct about these things.

"If it's no trouble, a cup of tea would be wonderful. Thank you for your kindness."

With the kettle started, the two women take a seat at the dining room table. Natasha gives a lopsided grin as she moves a half-built lego car and places her paperwork on the table in its place. She starts tidying the mess of toys as she waits for the kettle to boil.

"I'm sorry for the mess. We've been pretty busy since I stepped up at work. The small amount of spare time I've had has been dedicated to taking care of Peter," she explains. She is apologetic for the mess, but it's also a bit of a test. Will Natasha judge the quality of care she's doing her best to provide?

"Oh. It's no problem at all. I can understand how busy you must be right now. It's impressive enough how you take charge at work, but raising Peter must be a full-time job in itself," she replies in earnest.

"Yea. Taking care of Peter has always been my top priority," she says as she pours the hot water into the cups and serves the tea with cream and sugar. "Even before I took over for Tony, I was pretty busy trying to take care of Peter full time. And now I just feel like I'm being pulled in too many directions at once. It's been difficult, to say the least."

"That's understandable." Natasha knows she might be out of line, but she feels a spark growing between the two. She speaks her words as if they've always been friends. "It's okay to ask for help when you need it. You know that, right?"

"I just feel like by hiring a nanny, I'm admitting that I'm not enough for Peter. That I'm not doing enough as a mother. I feel like a failure." Pepper grips her mug tightly in her hands as she speaks. The tea almost trembles in her shaky hands. She has to hide her shameful eyes from the women she's supposed to be interviewing.

"If you can admit that you feel like a failure, that generally means your not one. You're just burdened right now. And that's okay. This whole Tony Stark thing has been difficult on everyone. It's unfair for anyone to expect you to pick up all the pieces when you can only do your best."

Pepper considers the woman's words. They're deep. Words created from years of pain and experience. Natasha seems almost too wise for her age.

"What about you?" Pepper says. She needs to change the subject before she starts crying again. She skims the paperwork on the table for something else to say. "Why would someone from legal apply for a transfer as a nanny?"

"I was appreciative for the secretary position, but it isn't ever what I wanted to do here. This is a very impressive company to work for and any experience was invaluable, but having a desk job just isn't for me. I prefer work things that are more hands on. When I saw the job posting online, I just couldn't resist applying."

"Do you have any experience working with children?"

"I don't have much formal experience, but I spent most of my teenage years taking care of siblings. I grew up in a foster home," she explains. "I was always taking care of the young ones. My love for children has only grown since. And I'm certified in emergency response and defense so Peter will be completely safe in my care."

"Do you maybe have any newer childcare experience? Possibly children of your own?" Pepper asks with an eyebrow raised.

"I'm actually unable to have children of my own," the woman whispers in a much lower tone than her previous responses. Her face is filled with shame and it's the first time Pepper's seen her hesitate during the interview. It seems unlike her.

"I'm so sorry," Pepper apologizes. "Tony wasn't supposed to be able to have kids anymore either. When we found out about his son, we were overjoyed. Peter was our miracle baby."

"That must be really nice," Natasha murmurs to herself. There's no resentment in her statement, only admiration for the happy family. She truly means her words, though the disappointment is difficult to ignore. Deep down she's always regretted her decision to be sterilized.

Pepper nods in response and continues to scan through the papers on the table. The woman seems charming enough, though she's mildly under qualified for the position. She has amazing references from everyone she works with, but so little experience when it comes to qualified childcare.

So many of the other applicants have actual degrees in childhood development. Pepper can't help but wonder if Peter would be safer with another applicant, someone with higher qualifications. Her gut feels right with this woman, but she can't help but question herself. She has to wonder if trusting her heart in this situation is truly the best thing for Peter.

She doesn't get any more time to think over her options. Peter's suddenly spilling out of his room and sneaking towards the dining room table. It seems the movie wasn't the perfect solution his mom had hoped for. The boy always has difficulties sleeping when people visited and it seems tonight is no exception.

"Who are you?" he asks innocently as he pulls himself into one of the dining room chairs and starts pulling his toys from the pile to play with.

Pepper can't help but smile as she looks down at him. His large fleece pajamas hang off the skinny frame of his body and he holds his red spider plushie close on his chest.

"I'm Natasha. It's nice to meet you, Peter. Your mom's been telling me all about you," she says with her eyes on the boy. She seems impressed as Peter continues to build his lego car with little help from the instruction booklet.

"Natasha might spend some time babysitting you tomorrow while I'm at work. What do you think of that Peter?" she asks him gently. It's her way of sneakily asking what Peter thinks.

Natasha raises an eyebrow in the background as her way of asking permission for the job. Pepper is still slightly nervous about the implications of hiring a nanny but tilts her head in response. She knows it won't hurt to do a trial run with JARVIS watching over the pair tomorrow while she's downstairs in the office.

"I would like that. She has pretty hair," he says before his face stretches in a large yawn. It's getting close to midnight and he's clearly too exhausted to function. Pepper is just thankful that he doesn't have school tomorrow and can spend some time sleeping in.

"Come on Peter. Let's get you back to bed," Natasha says as she rises from her place at the table. She takes the boy's hand and Pepper watches as the woman leads her son back to his bedroom. Something about it just seems right. They seem okay together.

It only takes a few moments to get him tucked back underneath the covers. He's too tired to resist the lure of sleep any longer, though he can't help but start asking questions like he usually does. Pepper's preparing to come in and save the new nanny from her son's ever-growing curiosity, but it seems she's unneeded. Natasha knows what she's doing.

"How about I sing you a lullaby? Will that make you sleepy?" she asks the tired boy. Peter nods in response. A lullaby does sound really nice since he's moments away from passing out.

Pepper listens from the hallway as beautiful words start pouring from the woman's mouth. Her voice is gentle and soothing as she sings, the tone melodic in nature. The words are simple as she slowly works through them, though Pepper can't help but notice a bit of an accent slipping out as she works through the emotional words.

" _I know you're scared of the unknown._

 _You don't wanna be alone._

 _I know I always come and go._

 _But it's out of my control._

 _And you'll be left in the dust_

 _Unless I stuck by ya._

 _You're my sunflower._

 _I think your love would be too much._

 _Or you'll be left in the dust._

 _Unless I stuck by ya._

 _You're my sunflower._

 _You're my sunflower."_

Pepper has to push down a tinge of jealousy as the song finishes. Peter's sleeping soundly in his bed. He's safe and sound and happy and that's all that truly matters. She just needs to keep reminding herself that's she's doing what's best for him.

She can never be replaced as his mom.

She's not a failure. Not yet.


	4. Love

"It's been three months, Pepper. I think it's time to admit he's not coming back."

Pepper has to force herself to stay calm after hearing the hushed words. They're harsh, but she knows they're true. It just physically hurts her to hear them spoken out loud. She can feel herself cringing away from the words.

Her emotions rush through at a pace she can't keep up with and she can feel nauseousness creeping through her. She has to grip at the countertop to keep herself steady as the room begins to spin around her.

This isn't like her. She isn't the strong woman she's grown into. She's usually so in control of herself, but the fear and grief that flood her system is too much for her to handle right now.

"I can't do that. Not yet," she admits to herself in a hushed tone. She stays quiet for herself - she can barely admit that he hasn't returned yet - but she also can't let Peter hear this discussion. He's currently sleeping in the other room and she can't wake him. Not with this.

"We both know what Tony's last wishes were. You've read the emergency plan files for his company. You've seen the video he left us. We can't refuse his wishes much longer. We have to respect his wishes"

Pepper thinks back to the instructions delivered by JARVIS only minutes after Tony Stark had been officially declared missing. Tears fog her eyes as she recalls every single word. She can still see the pain on his face as she watched the recording.

Of course, she can't forget his final wishes. It's constantly playing on a loop in the back of her mind. She can never let it go. It'll haunt her until the day she sees him again.

The video file is old. The quality is perfect because it's recorded on Stark technology, but Pepper knows it's a different Tony Stark than the one she knows now. This is a Tony Stark that's six or so years younger. It's the Tony Stark from the time of the adoption.

He's standing in his lab. There's a few bottles of high-end liquor surrounding him, but he seems less drunk than he usually is. This isn't a full spiral yet.

" _Hey there Happy. Pepper. Hopefully, you'll never see this. Hopefully, I fuck it up again like I always do. I always fuck it up."_

He laughs to himself. It's a dark laugh that Pepper doesn't like. It sends a shiver down her spine. She knows Tony's a fighter. The only thing he could ever fuck up is dying. And she doesn't like the thought of a world without him.

" _I leave. A lot. Work takes me away, sometimes to very dangerous places, and I know there's not always a chance I'll be here. There might be a day I can no longer lead Stark Industries. And that's okay."_

Pepper's heart always aches at this part. It's the start of a confession of pain for the man she so dearly misses. She's unsure how she let him get so far. How had she missed the signs of his pain when they were so clear? How had she not noticed how depressed he truly was?

" _I've been hurting. A lot. And drinking too much. Sometimes I sit in this chair and hope if I drink enough, the pain will just stop. But it won't. It never does. There's nothing that can numb the pain when it's dug so deep into you."_

Tony pauses for a second as he hiccups. How drunk is he right now?

" _I'm not enough. I've never been. I appreciate all you two have done for me. But I'm just at this point where I can't fix these things anymore. Stark Industries is great. I'm loved around the world. But it isn't enough. It was never enough."_

" _When I go to these dangerous war-torn countries, I know there's a chance I may never return. But that isn't the real danger in my life right now. I'm the danger in my life. It's always been me. I've always been broken. And there may come a day I just can't fight anymore."_

Tears stream down Pepper's face as she watches his struggle. He's clearly drunk, but she's not sure if that makes the words more or less painful. This is a confession she knows she was never meant to see. This tape is six years old after all. He's improved so much since then.

" _I'm leaving these instructions for when I'm no longer here to protect you two."_

" _Step one. Virginia Pepper Potts, I want you to become CEO of Stark Industries. The board members may fight my decision, but I've already prepared the paperwork in case anything ever happens to me. My lawyers will give you my full support. You are my one and only heir. Your the only one who's deserving and skilled enough to take over. And the only one I trust. Don't let me down."_

" _Step two. Happy Hogan. I know we're just beginning to grow close, but I'll need someone to take care of Pepper. She's been given a difficult task and she'll need every ounce of support. She doesn't know how amazing she is yet. She deserves so much better than me. A real man. Someone who can fully care for her the way I never could."_

" _Step three. Make my father proud. Make my mom proud. I know they're still watching over me, disappointed by my every action. Push Stark Industries into everything my dad ever wanted. I just can't disappoint them anymore. I did my best, but I was never enough. I tried. I promise I tried my best."_

" _Step four. If this is sudden, if you're receiving this wondering where I am, I'm okay. You may never see me again… And that's probably for the best. I'm probably a mess right now. You don't want to see the results of this. And please don't leave the world waiting for answers. Please don't dwell on the past. Live the wonderful lives you all deserve to have."_

Pepper wants to scream. She wants to thrash out and throw the video feed away from her, but it's only a hologram. All she can do is force herself to watch his final words.

" _I'm sorry, Pepper."_

"That video means nothing, Happy. You know it isn't relevant to the current situation."

"He doesn't want us to linger on what could've been. You heard his words. He wants us to move on and continue with our lives."

"This isn't the same thing!" she shouts angrily. Her eyes burn as salty tears stream down her face. She's lost her volume control in the flood of emotions.

"Those tapes are over six years old. They were from a different time in his life. He was drunk all the time. And sleeping with anyone that moved. He was so depressed that we almost lost him It's different now. We're different now. He didn't have Peter. He didn't have me. Those weren't emergency preparedness instructions for Stark Industries. It was a suicide tape!"

They're both suddenly aware of how heated the discussion is becoming and Pepper has to take a few moments to calm herself. She peaks towards Peter's bedroom to be sure her volume didn't wake the sleeping boy. She's lucky that he's a heavy sleeper.

"It's his last legal instructions before he died. It's what he wanted."

Pepper takes a few moments to catch her breath as she forces her eyes to look towards Happy. He looks almost as much as a mess as she is. She can see where his hair is greying with stress and the bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. He's in pain too. But he's holding it together for her sake.

They stare at each other from across the room, eyes locked in a battle for what's right for their loved ones. They both know the instructions. They need to declare Tony dead so that the world can start moving on - so the family can start moving on - but she just can't do it. She can't say goodbye just yet. She can't admit that he's dead.

"Maybe we should open a bottle of wine? Calm our nerves a little," the man finally offers. It'll calm both their nerves. And then they can continue the conversation.

"I hope you understand I'm not trying to hurt you, Pepper. I can't imagine what you're going through. You were so much closer to him than I ever was," he says calmly as they settle into the furniture. He knows the comfy furniture is no comfort from the dark tone matter of the conversation, but at least it's better than the cold marble kitchen tops that she'd been previously leaning on.

Pepper sighs to herself. She knows Happy means no harm. She knows he's trying to protect her. His one job now is to care for this family and make sure that they get this troubling time.

But even more, she knows he truly wants to make everything okay for the family. Not because he has to, but because he wants to. He would bear all the pain on his shoulders if it meant they could move on from their loss.

"I know you have good meanings. I know you really do. I'm just not ready to admit he's gone yet. I can't do it yet. Not when we've worked so hard together to create this life for ourselves. He can't be gone already."

"You're going to have to face it eventually."

"I know. I know I can't wait forever, but I just can't do it now. I can't do it yet. It'll rip Peter apart and I can't do it to him yet. Tony's the only living kin he has left. He doesn't even know anything is wrong. He just thinks that Tony's on an extended business trip."

"Peter's a smart kid. He'll bounce back. They all do. Because we're going to be here for him. Together."

"I can't do it yet. I'm sorry Happy. I'm not ready."

* * *

The wine feels good. It numbs her. It makes her stop hurting.

For a few minutes at the end of each day, she finds herself feeling better. It only takes a cup of red wine each night before bed to calm her nerves, but she quickly finds herself becoming reliant on the routine.

And then when she finds her heart beginning to race numerous times a day in the rush of anxiety attacks, she finds the wine isn't enough. She goes to the doctor and explains her stress. She's assured it's normal and is prescribed Ativan, a lower dose anxiety medication. She's told to take it as needed so she doesn't become reliant on the drug and to never take it with alcohol.

It's never too much. She's careful to not overdo the dosage of the small white pills, but she's starting to understand more and more how the masterful Tony Stark let his life slip away under the influence of drugs. There's a power to the tingly calming sensation that makes her feel safe. It makes her feel normal. She can finally sleep peacefully for a few nights.

Then the nightmares and dark thoughts begin to creep back in. Even her meds can't keep her swarming emotions at bay. She's spiraling too.

'I am loved,' she has to remind herself as tears fog up her vision. 'I have Peter and Happy and Natasha and Kai,' she thinks to herself. Listing off all the amazing people in her life should be enough support. It should be enough to make her feel wanted and loved. It should calm her down.

But it isn't enough. It's never enough to bring her down.

She craves the love of the man that was never even hers to begin with. A man she would have never even considered a potential partner until he was out of her grasp. The celebrated bachelor. The elegant billionaire. The father of her child. Tony _Fricken_ Stark.

Her bed is empty without him. It was already empty due to its comically large size, but she's found herself even more lonely within the mountain of fresh blankets and pillows. The pressure of the weight is helpful, but it isn't the same as a warm human filling the empty space.

'He should be here. He should be with us,' she thinks to herself. She can't stop crying and is becoming more and more upset with each passing breath. She can't help but feel empty without him. Her bed isn't just empty. Her life is empty too.

She sits up in her bed. She needs to fix the broken rhythm of her lungs. She's choking as she struggles to find oxygen. She needs more air.

She feels extremely trapped, like an animal locked in a tight cage. She searches the room around her for some sort of relief. The only thing she sees is a recently open bottle of high-end red wine on the night table next to her and her bottle of anxiety meds.

The room is deathly quiet as she stares at the bottle. She knows it will soothe her pain, but she has a son right next door who could call for her at any moment. She can't drop down to Tony's levels and use alcohol to hide from her problems. She can do better.

But Tony isn't here. He doesn't need to know.

She grabs the bottle a bit forcefully as she takes it to her lips and starts to drink. She tosses a triple dose of her medicine into to her mouth and uses the liquid to force the pills down her throat. The liquid isn't too strong on its own, but together it may be enough.

Her body is already starting to feel more at peace. She can feel herself breathing again as her heart rate drops to dangerous levels. She can barely enjoy the high the combination creates.

It doesn't take long before she finds herself placing the empty bottle next to the bed beside her. It slips in her fingers and smashes to the floor. She can hear the glass shatter next to her bed, but she can't find the will to pull herself from her covers to clean the mess. She can barely find the energy to think about the mess she's made.

She didn't mean to drink that much and tries to feel ashamed, but she's just too far gone under the effects of her high. She knows this was a mistake, but she can't seem to find the words to describe the situation. She just knows her family deserves better.

She's still too numb to do anything. She can't clean the mess she's made. She can't put her family back together. And she definitely can't save the man she loves.

The only difference in her life is that she's drunk and high and numb. She thinks back to Tony. She thinks back to all the times she cleaned him up after a bender. It seemed to help him, but yet she can't understand why he would ever try to fix his life this way. She doesn't feel any better than before. She might even feel worse.

She pulls up the covers with tingling fingers and tries to let herself sleep.

* * *

Pepper doesn't drink anymore after that night. She has the occasional glass of wine when Happy visits, but she can't do that to herself again. She can't do that to her family.

Maybe she never loved Tony Stark. Maybe she loved everything she knew he could be? Maybe she only loved the great sides to Tony Stark that so few people are aware of. The passionate and driven inventor. The stubborn drive to impress the people around him. The caring kind man that would drop everything to protect the people he loves.

Her heart is empty as she takes to heart Tony's wishes. She can no longer deny the mixed feelings. She just doesn't love the good parts of Tony, but the horrible screwed up parts too. She's known it all along.

She's in love with her boss. She's in love with Tony Stark.

Why had she denied it so long? Why had she acted like it wasn't there before?

She's pushed off thinking it over so many times. She had lost count of the times she thought that there was always tomorrow. And now there was no tomorrow. Tomorrow would never happen again.

She needed to face the facts. Tony Stark was dead. He was never coming home.

Her bouncing baby boy will never see his father again. He will be loved and taken care of by the rest of his family, but there would forever be something missing in his life, a gap in his heart that only a father's love could fill. The little family she worked so hard to create would be forever broken.

Pepper throws the covers off of herself. She was becoming too warm and the blankets are suffocating her. Her emotions are boiling under her skin, becoming too much for her to deal with. She needs to get herself together before she finds herself breaking down again. She needs to stay strong for Peter.

She drags herself to the bathroom and looks into the mirror. There are bags under her eyes from the constant lack of sleep she's been experiencing over the last month. The stress of the company is something she could handle, but this has just become too much for her. She's a mess from trying to keep it together. She's a mess from fighting every moment she's awake.

Unable to face her disgusting reflection in the mirror anymore, Pepper throws on a bathrobe and leaves her room. The long hallways of the suite bring her no peace. Every corner just brings back the memories she can't escape from. All she can think of is him.

Would he feel the same if she was the one missing? Would he be as hurt by her absence? Would he accept her death so willingly? Would he miss her?

She can't help but question his feelings. She questions his motives and love for the family, including his love for her as a partner. She questions his thoughts. She questions their relationship. She questions _everything_.

But then she thinks back to the final tapes that he filmed for her. She remembers his planned parting words from so long ago. She remembers his goodbye.

 _I'm sorry, Pepper._

Even though the tape was meant for her and Happy, he'd apologized specifically to her. He'd addressed her. He was sorry for the plans he was making at that moment. He was sorry for leaving her. He was disappointed in himself and needed to apologize for the hurt he was about to cause. That had to mean something. That had to mean he cared.

She finds herself standing outside of Peter's bedroom. She gently nudges the door open and leans in the door frame to check in on her little boy.

Peter's okay. He's safe in his bed. He's sleeping peacefully under a thin blanket with his spider ploosh tucked closely to his chest. His chest rises and falls with the rhythm of his deep sleep. His messy curls frame his resting eyes as he rests from a long day.

She admires his peace. His sleeping form fills her body with melatonin that finally calms her overbeating heart. Seeing her son safe and happy is enough to make her feel a little bit better. She's calm enough to think through her problems clearly.

She knows what has to be done. She can't push the inevitable off any longer. It's time they move on with their lives, even though she's fully aware of the tidal wave of pain that she's creating for the family. She knows how difficult it will truly be.

The sooner she starts arranging for his funeral, the sooner they can begin to heal.

"I'm sorry Peter," she whispers to the room. He can't hear her. The boy only holds his toy tighter in response, but she hopes deep down that he gets it. She can only hope that deep down one day he'll understand and forgive her.

She turns and finds herself heading towards Tony's bedroom without thought. It's a place she's avoided since his disappearance. It isn't her room to enter, but she can't hold herself back anymore. She needs to say her goodbyes and it's the closest thing she has to him really being here.

The house is quiet as she turns the handle and steps into Tony's room.

"JARVIS, lights on," she whispers to herself. She doesn't want to speak, but she has no choice. She feels that if she speaks the tears will start flowing and never stop, but the room is fully automated. It won't work unless she says the command.

The lights flicker on without a response from the AI, giving her no choice but to face the undisturbed scene. The rooms exactly the same as the day he left. He always refused to let the cleaning staff work on his room. Same minimalistic furniture scheme. Same messy unmade bed. Same tossed dirty clothes in the corner of his room. Same Tony Stark spirit.

She wasn't sure of what she was expecting, but this wasn't it. Something in the back of her mind expected more. She knew he wouldn't physically be here sitting on the bed, but she expected more resolution. She expected something grander.

She can hear her phone ringing from down the hall, but she's too engulfed in her grief to care. She can't be bothered right now when she's hurting so much. She knows she needs some time to herself. She knows this is the time.

Her eyes are already burning with tears as she tries to keep herself from breaking down in sobs. She's holding everything back, but she knows she won't last much longer. She never does.

She's sitting on the edge of Tony's bed now. His smell is long gone from the sheets and she finds herself wishing she could hold him close just one more time. She wishes he could be here to comfort her. She wishes she could say goodbye in person.

Even his dirty shirt on the bed has no scent of him remaining She holds it close to her face, wiping her tears on the sweaty work shirt. She knows what she's doing is disgusting, but it's all she has left of him. She's desperate to find any trace of him left.

Her head buzzes as tears continue to fall. She's making herself sick in worry. She's dehydrated from crying out every last bit of moisture in her body. Her head pounds as a migraine begins to grow in the back of her head. If she doesn't get herself under control soon, she knows tomorrow's workday will be impossible.

And then there's that ringing sound. Her phone is still ringing again and again. It's obnoxious. She can hear it echoing down the long hallways, digging into the back of her head like nails. Sometimes it stops for a few minutes, but she finds herself becoming enraged as it picks up again.

"JARVIS who is calling me at two in the morning?" she finally asks angrily.

"It's a private caller marked high priority. I can't track the source," the AI quickly answers.

She sighs. Why can't she be left alone for five minutes? Why can't she be left alone in her grief? But she knows how stubborn the people at Stark Industries can be. If she doesn't pick up, they'll just continue ringing until she does.

"JARVIS, please patch the call through to the communication system in Tony's room."

She only has to wait a few seconds before she can hear the echoing stop. The ringing fills the room for only a moment until she can hear the call automatically answered by JARVIS.

"Hello. This is Pepper Potts speaking. May I ask who I'm speaking with?" she asks as she holds Tony's shirt close. She needs every bit of comfort at this moment. She just hopes her customer service voice is believable enough for whoever's waking her.

"Hello, Miss Potts. This is Bernard from the Office of the Director of National Intelligence. I'm so sorry for calling you at this hour, but it's urgent," the voice says.

Pepper nods to herself and mutters a response to acknowledge him. She can remember the many interviews from when Tony was originally declared missing. They'd spoken many times before, but their conversation has slowed as the leads thinned. She hadn't heard from him in months. Things had become hopeless very quickly since then.

"We've made a development in Tony Stark's case," he continues.

Pepper's heart stops for a moment. She can't do this again. She can't be filled with false hope when she was so close to accepting her loss. She can't be hurt anymore by the loss. She was so close to moving on, but the words send a rush of courage through her once more.

"Really? Are you any closer to finding him?" she asks quickly. She needs to know.

"We found him. He's coming home."

The room spins around her. Her eyes ache as tears of happiness force their way through, but her body is still too drained to get anything out. Her stomach flips as grief turns into excitement and relief floods her system. She's waited so long to hear those words.

Tony's alive. Tony's coming home.

The man on the phone keeps speaking, keeps giving Pepper instructions for when his return, but Pepper barely hears another word. Something about a heart injury he's experienced while he was away, but none of it matters as long as he's alive. He's going to be here soon. She'll be seeing him in less than ten hours time.

There's so much to do. She can barely imagine the sort of trauma he's experienced while so far away and she needs to do everything possible to make sure he has an easy return.

She'll need to make sure the house is spotless. It's grown out of control and he deserves a safe space to come home to. Next, she'll need to arrange pickups and make sure paparazzi doesn't overwhelm him as they leave the airport. And if he is suffering from a damaged heart, she'll need to arrange medical personnel to examine him right away. It's a lot to do.

Pepper jumps out of bed and throws herself into the shower. It's still late, but she can't look like this when he arrives. She needs to be there for him. She needs to be his rock.

She tosses an Ativan in her mouth as she throws on trashy clothes for cleaning the house. It's still late, so she's careful to work quietly as she gets to work. There's a large amount of cleaning to do, but she's confident that she can get it done with her new found ambition. She plays catch up the only way a mother knows how.

She cancels her following meetings and is immediately bombarded with texts from angry shareholders. She doesn't care. They can suck it. She'll be taking a few days off. A week if she wants to. Right now her family needs her more.

* * *

This wasn't supposed to happen. It was supposed to be an easy mission, a simple plan to infiltrate Stark Industries. Work her way up the chain as a secretary to the top lawyers in the country, do whatever it takes to get close to the family, learn more about the power supply that the company's working on, and download all files related to their weapon technology.

The training is so ingrained into her that she cannot ignore her orders. Do anything necessary to keep the world safe. Whatever it takes. No matter the consequences. No matter who she has to hurt. She knows what she has to do.

After months of work behind a desk, she's finally making progress on the case. She's getting so close to the information that she's been tasked to retrieve. She finally finds herself taking a leap forward in an otherwise very dry mission. There's just one final speed bump on the road to her victory.

Tony Stark is missing in action. He may even be dead, not even SHIELD is aware of his status. Still, she finds herself closer than ever before. She has the house to herself most of the day as she cares for Peter. JARVIS is none the wiser to the intruder that's crawled her way in. And she takes every opportunity to search for the information she needs.

All she needs to do is insert the thumb drive to start downloading every bit of the files, but she has no access to the complicated frame that is Tony's house. She needs access to Tony's lab. She knows it's the main entry port to the computer system, but with the man declared missing, only Pepper Potts has access. And she can't think of a possible excuse to get inside.

Natasha can only continue to stay undercover and try to grow closer to the family in the meantime. It's the only possible way to gain access to the lab. If she continues to care for the small family whenever possible, taking extra effort to console Pepper whenever possible, surely she'll find a way in. Pepper is the key to Tony's lab.

But she never expected to actually start caring for the Stark family. Her heart was opening up as she watched the way they fought to stay brave in a hopeless situation. Natasha couldn't say anything, but if SHIELD couldn't find Tony Stark with their pool of worldwide resources, the chances he was alive were slim. Natasha had given up long ago.

Each time she conversed with Pepper over a cup of quick tea, she could see the fight in the woman's eyes. She was one of the strongest people the spy had ever met. Pepper never gave up hope and she couldn't help but admire the way she remained strong around her son. She was the rock of the family, but unafraid to cry when surrounded by friends.

That was the only way to describe it. Natasha had become her friend. Not a fake friend that was listening to find words to be used later, but a true friend that really cared and wanted to help her survive. She cared for this woman.

That wasn't even the full extent of her emotion. If Natasha cared for Pepper, then she truly loved Peter. Natasha wasn't sure when she'd started to fall for the boy. All she knew was that he had a vortex of love that surrounded him. The way he cares for every person he meets is addictive. He cares for everyone he meets so deeply. The nanny never stood a chance.

(And there's something about his messy brown curls and big doe-like eyes that are just irresistible. Maybe even superhuman in power.)

She finds herself caring for the boy much more than she had ever planned, much more than she ever thought possible. His power is just too much. She finds herself treating him like the son she could never have.

She's unsure how this will affect her mission. She's confused and lost and doesn't know what to do with the forced orders she has from her higher-ups. She doesn't want to screw over these beautiful people. For the first time in her life, she doesn't want to leave when the mission is over.

It's not like it matters anyway. She doesn't have to worry about leaving anytime soon since she's at a dead end. Tony Stark isn't here. She cannot continue investigation without him. And SHIELD won't pull her back anytime soon with her so close.

All she can do right now is focus on keeping the family together. Any day now funeral preparations will start and she'll be needed more than ever. It gives her time to find another way out. She'll figure something out by then. She has to.

"JARVIS, please take me to the penthouse suite," she says once she's in the elevator.

The elevator whirs as it starts it's long descent into the highest peak of Stark Towers. Most of the offices are closed this early in the morning, but her shift starts much earlier than most. When there's a young boy to prepare for school, you need to be up before dawn breaks. Natasha needs to be there bright and early to help him get ready for school.

When the elevator doors open, she can immediately feel a change of atmosphere in the suite. There's a different flow to the energy of the space. Things seem… Better.

The first thing she notices as she steps towards the kitchen is the shining floors. Not only are the floors mopped clean, but they've been recently waxed too. It seems even the toys that usually litter every surface are all neatly tucked away. Every inch of the suite is spotless.

Natasha had constantly tried to clean since she is the nanny, but Pepper insisted otherwise. She was hired to care for Peter. The mess wasn't too important. Peter needed to be her top priority.

She briefly remembers mentions of a housekeeper and wonders if Pepper has hired someone to clean the usually messy house, but it's quite the ungodly hour for someone to be cleaning. And it was only last night that the house had been its usual mess.

And it smells warm, like cinnamon french toast. She can smell freshly baked cookies throughout the small space of the foyer. Her mouth floods in excitement as she sets her purse down and she heads inside to investigate the aroma.

Her eyes burrow in confusion when she enters the kitchen. Pepper's taking out another batch of fresh cookies and placing it on the counter. She seems tired, exhausted even, but at the same time, she seems much more at peace than she has been for the past few weeks.

Natasha has to quickly check her watch to make sure she's on time - she must be early for her shift - but the time is correct, which only grows her suspicions more. This is odd for the family she's recently grown to know. Pepper is a fantastic mom, but she's usually too distracted with work to do any housekeeping. She doesn't even usually see Peter before work.

"Someone's in a great mood today. Did I miss something?" she asks in a joking voice. She doesn't want to push too far, but all her spy senses are going off. Something has changed.

Pepper Potts ushers her over and they lean closely together as if she's about to tell a secret that no one can know. This just confuses the spy even further.

"I got a call in the middle of the night. Tony's been found. He's coming home later today."

Natasha's expression changes for only a second before she can push down her confusion and excitement. Surely SHIELD must have been aware that he was on his way? If so, why hadn't they made her aware that he had been found? Why didn't they brief her before her shift?

"That's great Pepper," she says as she moves in for a gentle hug. The woman relaxes in her arms. Natasha can feel all the tenseness that had burdens her muscles finally gone. She seems much healthier than before.

Natasha takes a seat at the breakfast nook as Pepper continues to prepare breakfast for Peter. She's making his favorite food: chocolate chip pancakes.

As she works, she catches up Natasha with all of that night's happenings, only leaving out the desperate break down that happened moments before she received the call. She's told about the late-night call, the hours spent cleaning since, and all the excitement bubbling within her.

The energy is contagious. There's a joyful resolution in the spirit of the air. And despite the millions of thoughts rushing through Natasha's mind on the status of her mission with Tony's return, she can't help but feel happy for the family. She's overjoyed to see her friend so whole again. She can't wait to see the look on Peter's face when he wakes up to the good news.

"Well, it's about time for me to wake Peter for school," she says as she checks her watch. "I imagine you'll want to do that yourself though, so you can tell him the good news?"

Pepper pauses in her actions. She takes a moment before places the pancakes neatly on the plate in front of her. "I'm actually not telling Peter," she says matter of factly.

Natasha pauses. Despite all of her training, she's not sure what to say in response. She doesn't have the right words to reply. She doesn't understand why Pepper would keep this news from her son. They always seemed to emotionally close. They were meant to take care of each other.

"I'm sorry. I don't think I heard you right. You aren't telling Peter?"

Pepper shakes her head before gripping tightly on the counter and releasing a long breath. She's unsure of her herself as she speaks. "I know I should. He's Peter's dad. Peter deserves to know, but I need to protect him for just a little bit longer. I just need to see Tony first. I need to make sure everything's really okay before I bring him back into Peter's life."

Natasha isn't sure of what to say. She hasn't thought this far ahead. She's never imagined that Tony would return. It never even crossed her mind that this would be something Peter would need to be protected from, but Pepper always seems to be two steps ahead.

Tony Stark was held captive. And he's injured. He probably won't be in the best shape, physically or mentally. It might not be safe for him to be around Peter just yet.

"You'll back me up on this?" she hears from across the room from Pepper. The tone rises the smallest bit on the last word. This isn't an order to the nanny. It's a question for a friend.

Natasha doesn't even need to think. She'll support whatever Pepper decides. She'll be the friend the family needs in this time of crisis. She'll be here.

"Of course," she replies gently.

* * *

The air is warm and dry today. Pepper can feel the heat of the burning sun as the light reflects off the black tar of the runway. But it's nothing to the warmth inside she feels as she watches the plane take down in front of her.

This is it. This is everything she's been dreaming off for the last three months.

She finally has her chance to tell Tony how she's felt all this time, how scared she's been in his absence. How every night since his departure she's found herself in an eternal struggle of love and death. How much she truly needs him in her life. She's prepared the words in her head, practiced them over and over as she cleaned.

They've all lived together before. She was Peter's mom and he was Peter's dad, but they were never real parents. They weren't partners. She wants things to change when he moves back in. She wants them to be a real family now. She wants to do things together.

She hasn't even had a chance to consider the unlikely scenario of Tony not wanting a life partner, let alone being life partners with her. She's so sure that his final words on the tape meant something more. Tony was admitting something deep to her in those final words.

She watches as the jet opens slowly. The silence is painful in the unusually warm Spring heat.

When she sees Tony in the jet, she's taken aback. The man is sitting in a folding wheelchair. He looks moments away from death and extremely vulnerable in his state. Most of the color is gone from his already pale skin and she can't help but notice how skinny he is. She can barely imagine the pain he's experiencing.

He's not only drained from a lack of nutrition, but she can see numerous injuries on his body as stands from the wheelchair. The pain is hidden under gritted teeth, but she knows him too well. He can't hide any of his pain from her.

His arm is wrapped with a sling and he's holding it painfully close to his chest. He's got small marks all over his face from recently cleaned cuts that are still cleaning. He can barely even manage to walk straight and relies on another man to move.

Yet he's still Tony Stark. Even when he refuses to use the wheelchair or gurney that's prepared for him. He's adorned in a high-end suit jacket that he can't get his broken arm through. His beard has been recently trimmed and his hair washed to be presentable. And he holds his head high as he walks off the plan.

She can't help but smile in his direction. She's so close to crying tears of joy but bites her lower lip to steady herself. Her heart beats rapidly as he slowly approaches.

She's not sure what she expects him to say, but she notices that he's got his closed-off face. He's putting on a show, though she's not sure if it's for her or the people surrounding them.

He twitches his lip as he looks her over. "Hmm," he hums as he takes the last few remaining steps between them, closing off the space that she's hated for so long. She inhales his scent for the first time in months and it's almost too much for her. Almost.

But in that small moment, Pepper already knows that it isn't the time. She won't use the words she's so diligently prepared for him. She won't say the things her heart desires.

She sees it now. It's hidden behind a brick wall, but she can see the pain as she looks deep into his eyes. He's closed off because he's scared. He's terrified that things may come crashing down in an already broken situation. He's been through so much.

"Your eyes are red," he says in a matter of fact way. It's a simple stern statement, but Pepper knows what it means. It means the first thing he searched for when off the plane was her eyes, just as she had done when he approached. "Few tears for your long lost boss?"

She can see the slightest curve of his mouth in his words. She knows he's joking. She can see how relieved he actually is to see her here. That's all that matters for now.

"Tears of joy," she replies with a cheesy grin. She's just so happy to have him back, even if that means joking around with him like before all this happened. Playful bickering is much easier than confessing feelings. "I hate job hunting."

He only watches for a moment longer before she sees that look of panic returning in his eyes. She's used to the flicker. She's seen it before. It pangs her with fear. It's the look he has before beginning to spiral. He isn't well.

"Yea. Vacation's over."

They're quiet as they enter the car together. He keeps his head forcibly in front of him, making it hard for Pepper to read his eyes any longer. She knows the man is trying to keep himself focused so that he can avoid showing his emotions. She keeps her gaze on him anyway.

"Where to sir?" Happy asks from the front of the car. Pepper can't help but admire his professionalism. She's moments from breaking down in Tony's lap herself, yet he acts as nothing has changed.

"Take us to the hospital please Happy," she says before she's interrupted by a swift no from Tony. He's refusing medical care.

She furrows her brows as she faces him. She can barely believe what she's hearing. He's out of his mind. He's finally lost it. His body is broken. He needs to see a doctor. "No? Tony, you have to go to the hospital."

"No's a complete answer," he says under his breath. It's so quiet she can barely hear it, but it's there. He's trying to put his foot down before she can argue with him.

"You have to go to the hospital," she says in reply. His arm is clearly broken and he's still in a large amount of pain. He could barely walk straight moments earlier. She feels like she can't back down until she knows he's safe.

"I don't have to do anything. I've been in captivity for three months."

She swallows at those words. The intensity of the situation is clear in the strictness of his voice. He just wants to move past his trauma. He can't be dragged down by it any longer. Knowing this is his only way of fighting against his upcoming struggle, she knows she has to give in, no matter how much stress it brings her.

"There are three things I want to do. I want an American cheeseburger. I want to see my son." Instead of continuing the list, he stares at her with a spark in his eyes for a few moments. She can see the fire burning behind them. It's something he cares deeply about. Something that's changing within the man.

"And the other…"

"That's enough," she tells him. This isn't the time or place for either of them to confess their feelings. She doesn't want to hear the words said like this. Not when he's in so much pain.

"It's not what you think. I want you to call for a press conference now."

"Call for a press conference? What on Earth for?" she finds herself asking. The words flow from her mouth before she can stop them. There's an insulted intensity to her tone. This wasn't at all what she was expecting him to say.

He nods his head once. "Hogan drive. Cheeseburger first."

Pepper can only stare in disbelief. She must be out of her mind to love this man. But she does.


	5. Reunited

Bad things always happen in threes in the Parker bloodline.

A rule thrust upon Peter from the day he was born. His family had titled it the Parker Curse, though he was too young to understand the implications of the words. It bonded his family together in a tragic irony sort of way, but his family had passed way too soon, and he now had no one to prepare him for the life of sorrow he had ahead.

Only days after his birth, his stepfather dies in a tragic car accident. They aren't blood-related, not real kin in any way more than words, but this man was ready to care for Peter as his son. He was prepared to adopt the boy as his own and become the only father figure he'd ever need.

That was his first significant tragedy in the young boy's lifetime, though he was too young for his parents to teach him the lesson properly. People leave the world too early sometimes. You never know when you'll be sentenced to lose someone you love. You need to love them as much as you can while they're still with you.

He was lucky that he was too young to love his stepfather properly. It made the loss much more palatable, but in a way, he'd lost something he never truly knew. He'd never get the chance to meet the man that was Richard Parker. There were so many life-changing moments that he would miss out on, but there was one massive thing that was the hardest on his mother. He'd never get the chance to feel her husband's love.

The second significant loss came overnight on the young boy. Only a few months old and he becomes deathly ill and almost loses his life. His mother does all she can to care for the young crying baby that can't seem to sleep no matter what she tries, but there's no way the now single mother can prepare herself for the way the heat rushes through his shaken body.

His mom loathes the Parker curse that night. She isn't ready to lose someone close so soon, but she knows two horrible things will happen to her soon enough. She still has two cruel acts coming for her. And she isn't prepared to lose the only family she has left.

As she holds her son close to her body, changing the cold, wet cloth over and over, she debates if she can afford the hospital bills, to get him the proper care he needs. She fights with herself about how urgent his sickness really is, because she can barely afford to keep a roof over their heads, let alone the costs of abhorrent medical bills.

She decides to give him one more night under her constant watch, hoping desperately that his fever will break on its own. She holds him close to her own body and doesn't sleep a drop that night, keeping an eye on him every second, ready to rush to the hospital if needed.

One more chance for the boy pulled between death and financial hardship with an already heartbroken mother — the second strike in a horrible beginning.

And somehow, he manages to survive against all the odds. He doesn't die that night. The second strike in Parker's life hasn't succeeded in killing him. The fever breaks at three in the mourning, slowly evening out over the next few days, leaving the boy to face the world ahead of him.

There was only one more tragedy ahead of him in his cycle of three.

The rest of his first year of development was pretty average. He grows into a bouncing baby boy with dangling curls and large doe-like brown eyes. He seems to be developing at a standard rate, though his mother is a bit worried that he's smaller than the other boys in his age bracket. (She's assured that he's just a picky eater, but there's always something inside her waiting for something terrible to happen.)

She never gets the chance to help Peter through the third hardship of his life or tell him about the Parker Curse. The tragedy was never hers, to begin with. The bad luck always belonged to him, the boy with the hardest life ahead of him.

The tragedy was always going to be the loss of his mother. The person he relied on most, the only person he'd known since his very birthing. A person he loved so much that he can feel her watching him at night, but will never be able to hold again.

At least with the cycle broken, he can learn to love again.

* * *

It's been so long since he's seen her beautiful eyes in his dreams, but the memory of his mother's face is forever engraved onto his soul. When he's having his most fearful times in life, he can feel her presence trickling into his dreams to comfort him. Sometimes he can hear her voice saying words that don't make sense or smell the sweet perfume of her skin, but no matter how hard he tries, he can never reach far enough to feel her warm skin against his.

Who is this woman and why does he dream of her so often? He can sense her importance, he can feel a connection to her, but he can't place the feeling. He tries not to dwell on the idea of the woman, but every time he stops obsessing over her, she returns to him again.

Something inside him screams Mom, but even in his dreamscape, he knows that can't be right. Pepper is his mom. She's the only mom he's ever known and the only mom he'll ever need. And Pepper smells and feels distinctly different. This woman clearly isn't Pepper.

Even if he doesn't understand his dreams, he always finds himself feeling comforted when they trickle back in. With these last few extremely tough months of his life filled with so much misery, he welcomes every ounce of comfort he can get. He needs to feel safe and loved, with his dad so far gone, and his mom often too busy for him.

He breathes in the scent of her as he relaxes into her essence. He still can't reach her, but he can feel the tenseness in his muscles washing away and finds happiness flowing through him from being close to her.

Despite the temporary comfort, he finds himself yearning for more. He can't really make out the colors of the woman. All he can see is the blur of her shape. She's somehow even more blurry than usual, and he can't focus his eyes enough to examine her properly. He squeezes his eyes as he tries to adjust them manually, but he can't get the image to balance correctly.

"Peter…."

He knows that the words aren't coming from the woman, even if he can't see her lips to read them. There's something about this voice that's different. He can recognize it, but he's too in bliss to work out the puzzle.

He feels the world begin to shake around him as his shoulder gently moves. There's no hand there, but he can sense someone reaching out to him, interrupting the relaxation he so rightly deserves. He doesn't understand why someone would take him away from the woman that makes him so happy.

He tries to reach out for his mom one more time. He's no longer comforted by her presence, but desperate to push through all the obstacles in his way. He can feel the anxiety bubbling within, and he needs relief before his dream crashes in around him. He needs to find out who she is right this moment.

He knows he could reach her if he just tried harder. He needs to work harder. He could do it if he weren't such a failure. His dad would be so ashamed of him.

"Peter. It's time to get up for school…."

All he can do is reach out into the nothingness of his dreams, the blue and purple swirls that dance around him playfully. He's so close now that he can feel his heart aching in his chest, with fingers only inches apart from touching, but it's too late. He's too slow. The world starts to darken around him as he finds himself awakening.

He groans to himself as he feels his blankets cocooning him once more. He isn't ready to face the world, even if he loves the chance to go to school and learn something new. He just wants to return to the comfort of his dreams.

"Five more minutes, Auntie Tasha," the boy begs as he pulls the covers over his head in protest. He rolls over in his bed to face away from her, hoping to go back to sleep and return to his dreams.

He can hear Natasha's chuckle through the thin blanket wall he's created. He usually has a never-ending flow of energy, but the nanny has quickly learned that the boy loves nothing more than the warm comfort of his bed. This is a battle she struggles with every morning, though she doesn't mind playing with him a bit. She's starting to develop a soft spot for him.

"It's time to get up little one. We let you sleep in a bit today, but it's time to get up and eat breakfast. You know it isn't the same without you there Peter."

Peter whines in protest once more, but it's more of a playful whine this time. He knows he'll never win a battle against his Auntie Tasha, but it's fun for him to him to try. He can't help but push the boundaries of his guardians a bit, so he knows what he can get away with.

"There's a surprise waiting in the kitchen for you. Your mom stayed home from work, and she's made you a very special breakfast. She really wants to see you. Don't you want to spend some time with her before you leave?"

"No," he says with a giggle as he wiggles under the blankets and squeezes his eyes shut. His tone is playful, he's actually quite excited that he gets to see his mother before school, but there's something about the sweet warmth under his blanket that he doesn't want to escape either. He has to try at least to fight it.

"I guess I'll just have to go without you then. I'll just need to grab one thing to bring with me. It's kind of cold over here," the boy's Auntie says with a suspicious giggle. Before Peter has a chance to prepare himself, he feels the blanket being pulled off of him. He tries to reach for it, but it's too late. She's already gone.

He finds himself quickly waking up as the fresh morning air rushes in around him. He curls in on himself at first to preserve his body heat, but he has to get up anyway and finds himself rubbing his tired eyes as he pulls himself from his bed instead. He blinks a few times as he adjusts to the light around him. He can't stand mornings.

"Come get your blanket, Peter! Your pancakes are getting cold," she shouts through the walls.

Peter's excitement levels rise as the surprise is ruined, but he doesn't care. Pancakes are still his favorite kind of breakfast food. He's used to a quick bowl of cereal or toast since his mom became busy with work, a warm meal just reminds him of a time when his dad was still here with them. It sounds like a perfect start to his day.

He runs down the hallway until he reaches the open kitchen. He quickly passes his blanket and runs right up to his mom instead, throwing his arms around her as he hugs her side. He feels so much better in her warm arms. Even the cold morning air can't hold him back.

He looks up at her and quickly notes that she seems much better today. She's been really depressed the last few days, so Peter has been doing his best to act extra happy and give her lots of hugs. He wants to take care of her with his father gone. He's glad to see that all his work is paying off.

"How are you feeling today, mommy?" he asks as she lifts him into her arms.

"I'm good, Peter. Thanks for asking baby. How are you today?"

Peter thinks about it. He still misses his dad, and his dream lingers in the back of his mind, but he's happy to see that his mom is feeling better. If she's acting more upbeat, surely, that means that his dad will be coming home soon. He trusts his mom's instincts.

"I'm fine. Thanks for the pancakes," Peter says as his mom places him in his seat at the kitchen island, where his breakfast is set up and waiting for him. She tucks his blanket around him and kisses his head before returning to the sink to continue washing dishes.

He digs into the pancakes. They're delicious as usual - his mom is the best cook in the world. His legs swing at the table as he scarfs down the meal excitedly.

Peter can't help but notice that something is different in the Stark household today. Even though he's a young boy, he finds himself very tuned into the world around him. There's a lighter air around his family, and his mom is in a much higher mood. The fact that she's home is a good sign for their future, but the smile on her face is contagious.

Maybe it's the lightness of the world around him, but Peter can take his first deep breath in weeks. He's so busy trying to stay positive for his mother's sake that he hasn't had much time actually to be sad. He's refused to burden his mother with his sadness.

And the truth is he's becoming depressed. He's a generally delightful child, but so much has been going on with the loss of his father. There's been a lot of changes in his life that he can't ignore.

He misses his dad desperately. They were never that close, but he was always comforted by the warmth brought on by his father's presence. He admires the man. Having his father around gave him something to strive towards. He wants to be just like his dad when he grows up, and he spends time each day trying to earn his father's pride.

And with his dad gone, he needs his mother's support more than ever. But the help he needs has become less than before. His mother is burdened with the weight of his father's company, and she doesn't have as much time for him. They are doing much less together. He barely even sees her during the week.

He has his Auntie Tasha. She's here to care for him when his mother can't. He finds some relief in his Aunt's arms, but it isn't the same as when his mother holds him close. She doesn't pull him in the same way. Sometimes he just needs his mom.

That's probably why he hides his sadness from his mother. She has enough to deal with right now. He loves her so much that he didn't want to make things any harder for her right now.

He needs to stay strong for his mom. He needs to be the rock of the family.

* * *

Today is a Parker Curse sort of day.

Despite the great start, there's a presence of dread he can't escape from. He tries to ignore it, to enjoy a good healthy breakfast alongside the presence of his family, but there's a burning ember of worry in the back of his mind that tells him something is off.

At least at school, he has enough things to concentrate on that he can distract himself from lingering dread. His love of learning makes school one of his favorite places and has been something he can rely on in these difficult times. Plus he gets to see his best friend, which is always a plus when he's feeling down.

He sits alongside Ned, which is sometimes to the detriment of his studies, but the teachers want to give the shy boy something positive right now. Seeing his friend's familiar face after a night of active dreams is reassuring.

It isn't that the dreams are scary, but they always leave him in a state of exhaustion the next day. He feels comforted, but he's still completely exhausted.

"Peter?" he finally hears through his closed eyes. He shakes his head a bit to focus on the room around him instead of his thoughts. He needs to concentrate on the teacher but keeps drifting off. He's comforted when he realizes the voice only belongs to Ned.

"Did you see the new episode of Kim Possible last night?" he asks again.

Peter laughs to himself. He still can't get over his best friend's obsession with the show. Ned says he's into it for the cool superhero stuff, but it's clear he just has a crush on the protagonist. He indulges in his friend's thoughts anyway.

"No. You know my mom doesn't let me watch that much TV. Was it good?"

Ned goes on describing the episode to him, though Peter quickly finds himself drifting off again. He wants to listen, but he only catches the last bit of the conversation.

"I'm telling you. One day I'm gonna be a man in the chair."

"I promise if I ever become a superhero, you can be my man in the chair," he promises, partly because he loves to see the smile that crosses his best friend's face when Peter pledges, but also because he knows that will never happen. He'll never be super in any way.

Peter lets his eyes drift off until the teacher enters and class begins. He forces himself to focus on the board ahead of him as she starts speaking.

Peter's in grade one, only just starting to get initiated in the world of learning around him, but his teachers already find his knack for learning promising. He's mature for his age, always polite in class, cares for the students around him, and has a perfect memory. Their excitement just drives him on to learn even more.

Up until his father's disappearance, the boy got near-perfect grades, even if his homework is quite simple. Working on his homework was a nightly task he'd share with his mother, but he's become less excited for learning these past few months and has found it slipping through his fingers. With everything going on in his life right now, most of his teachers give him a pass as long as he participates, which he always does.

When the teacher starts handing out tests, Peter's already returning to his usual good mood. He knows he aced this math test; all of the answers seemed easy enough, so he's hugely shocked when the teacher places the test on his desk face down.

That's never a good sign…

He flips the test over and focuses on the grade. In red pen markings, with a circle around it, is a large C- that Peter can't ignore. He can barely believe it. He was so sure that he did much better. The answers had seemed so simple when he wrote them down on the blank lined sheet.

"Oh wow, man. That sucks," Ned whispers to reassure him after peaking over his desk. He knows his friend usually does better, but he's trying to play it cool. He doesn't want Peter to get upset in class with so many other children around.

"It's fine. I'm fine," Peter says to end the conversation quickly. He doesn't need Ned's pity. He jams the test in his backpack, dreading the moment he faces tonight when he'll have to get the test signed by his mother. He feels a pit in his stomach at the thought of disappointing her or adding to her growing pit of worries.

He isn't okay. He can barely speak any more words as he holds back the tears are forming in his eyes. His throat feels tight and his young chest aches. He can feel his disappointing welling up inside him as he fills with anxiety.

Your dad's a genius, and you fail another test? He would be so ashamed of you.

Even if the thoughts aren't real, he can't help but feel them. He knows his mother would tell him it's okay; everyone fails sometimes. She won't be angry with him. But his father would be highly disappointed in him. He would expect his only son to do better.

He needs to be stronger. His father would never cry like this.

Strong men don't cry about disappointing results.

* * *

The second strike of the day is less heartbreaking but much harder on his little six-year-old body, and much more painful on his tummy.

He's already quiet from earlier. He's tired from a bad night's sleep and ashamed for the test he needs to get signed tonight. He's scared to face her with her failures when she was in such a good mood earlier and wracked with guilt. He can't bear to be the one to ruin her mood.

Things only get worse when his teacher announces that it's time for lunch, and his fellow classmates reach into their backpacks to grab their lunch bags.

Peter's stomach is growling. Despite the large breakfast this morning, but he's a very energetic boy who and spent the first recess being chased by his best friend. His body is craving more calories to help him grow properly.

He reaches into his bag, shocked as he grabs at empty air instead of the superhero lunch bag he's expecting. He sits there for a few moments as he searches before giving up. Dread rushes through him as he realizes he didn't grab it from the fridge this morning. He left his lunch at home.

He tries to play it off. He's seen the look in the teacher's eyes when they learn some of the students can't afford to bring food. He doesn't want his mom to get in trouble for something that's clearly his fault or get the pity of his classmates. This is something he has to keep to himself. He'll just have to wait it out.

He zips up his bag and lays his head on his desk instead, holding his arms around his head in an attempt to recreate the warmth of his bed. Even with his eyes closed, this trick doesn't work. It shields him off from the room around him, but his stomach is cramping too much for this to be his safe space.

"Aren't you hungry Peter?" Ned asks when he notices Peter isn't eating.

Peter peaks over to his friend's lunch. A simple sandwich, a baggy of dry cereal, and a baggy with a tiny amount of grapes. Even compared to his usual home cooked lunches, the meal looks delicious, but he shakes his head in response. He doesn't want to risk letting his teacher know that his bag is empty.

"Did you forget your lunch?" his friend whispers quietly.

Peter debates admitting his mistake, but he knows Ned would share his lunch with him, and he can't allow that. His friend already has so little food in front of him. He can't take anything from him. He knows Ned's family struggles with money and taking anything from him wouldn't feel right.

"No. I'm just not feeling well today," he mutters as he puts his face back into his arms. It isn't really a lie. He's been tired and distracted all day, so he hopes that Ned will accept the excuse. Ned only hums in response as he continues eating, which Peter is grateful for.

He squeezes his eyes shut once again, doing his best to block out the noisy chatter of the room around him, to squeeze out the shitty day he's having so far.

Mostly he just squeezes them shut to keep himself from crying.

* * *

There has to be a final strike. That's how these things always happen to Peter. The curse lingers over him all day waiting for the perfect opportunity to make his already tedious day worse.

Peter isn't aware of it yet, but the third strike will be the worst one. It'll be the hardest thing that the world can throw at him in his time of crisis — a lost mother, a disappointed father, a nightmare that he can't shake for days. His bad luck cycle needs to end before he can begin anew.

Ned is inside the school when the third strike happens. Peter's all alone during recess, sitting against the school wall with his cramping stomach and foggy depressed mind, just waiting for the day to pass so that he can go home and crawl into his warm bed. He just wants the day to end already. He's too damaged to handle any more bad news.

He keeps his hoodie wrapped around his head to shield him from the bustling world around him, feeling easily overwhelmed with his life so out of balance. He's hiding in the shadows at the edge of the playground, the cold brick wall standing strong behind him. The steadiness of the wall helps to ground him, but it isn't enough to fix the pit of guilt swirling within him.

With his arms wrapped around his tightly curled form, he should be invisible to most of the students. They would normally leave him alone. But without his best friend by his side to protect him, he's become easy prey for the school bully. Flash seeks him out like a predator tracking his prey.

"Hey loser," Flash snickers as he approaches the already sullen boy. A group of kids tag alongside him in support, too afraid to say anything and become a target themselves. They don't know what's wrong with Flash, but they know better than to get in his way.

"I'm not in the mood today, Flash," Peter mutters under his breath, though he immediately knows as a mistake. He should have kept his mouth shut, but he's just too tired to filter his words today. He just wants to go home.

"I heard you got a C minus on your today. What are you? Stupid?"

Peter keeps his eyes on the ground as he picks at the small pebbles beneath him. Playing with the rocks give him a distraction from the situation around him, something for him to stim with as he tries to stay calm. Tears are already brimming in his eyes from earlier, but Peter holds them back. He doesn't want to seem weaker than he already is.

"I thought you were Tony Stark's genius boy. Not so smart I guess if you can't even do simple math equations. They'll kick you out if you keep failing, you know. They don't let dumb asses go to fancy schools like ours."

Peter tries to shake his head to himself in defiance. He knows his father pays a lot for him to go here, but surely they wouldn't kick him out. He's only six years old.

"Guess you're just stupid like your mom."

"My mom's not stupid!" he finally shouts in response. Peter looks up at Flash and realizes this is what the bully wanted all along. He was trying to get a reaction from him, and he won. There's a winning smile stretched along Flash's stupid face.

"Sure she is. Anyone who loves Tony Stark must be stupid. Why would she even want a child with him? We all know you were a mistake no one wanted. And now she's stuck with you." His friends sneer around him, nodding along to his horrible insults. This just edges the bully on more.

"Tony Stark doesn't love anyone. Not your mom. Not his slimy brat of a kid. No one."

"He loves me," is all Peter can mumble in response. He's not even sure if Flash can hear the reaction with how quietly he says the words. He doesn't care what the bully says anymore. He knows his family loves him.

"If he loves you, why did he leave you?"

"He didn't leave me," Peter shouts as tears finally burst from his eyes, immediately streaming down the redness of his face. He feels hot and his heart hammers in his chest. He stims with the little pebbles in his hands, but he's too far gone for it to calm him anymore.

"He did. And he isn't coming back. That's why your mom took over Stark Industries. My dad told me so. He left you both to rot," says Flash grinning. Even the children around him seem hesitant at this point, but they don't say a word.

"Leave me alone!" Peter finally shouts, unable to keep his emotions under control any longer. He stands up urgently and throws the pebbles he's collected at the small group of kids. It does no damage, but Flash has already decided that he's finished since he's made himself known as the alpha of the playground.

Peter slides back down the wall as tears continue to stream down his face.

He's never really considered his dad's absence or his mother's new job. He's just trusted that everything will turn out right, even if he's a bit lonely in the meantime, but what if this is what his life will be like now that his dad's gone.

Tony Stark doesn't love anyone.

Guess you're just stupid like your mom.

Was he stupid for loving his dad? No. Tony Stark was the most exceptional person on the planet. He was lucky to have him as a father.

But what Flash said could be right. Even if Tony was home, it's not like the two had many interactions. Peter was much closer to his mother. His father usually locked himself away in his workshop and didn't take much interest in his son.

He'd never even told him he loved him. Peter just assumed that his father loved him. He could be wrong. He was just a stupid emotional kid after all.

He isn't coming back.

Peter breaks down completely. Sobs choke through his body, and he can barely find the air to breathe. He doesn't even hear the bell as it summons his classmates back inside. He just keeps trembling against the cold wall needing to let go of all the hurt he's experienced today.

The schoolyard is now empty, but Peter can't find the will to pull himself from the wall. The young boy who's usually cheery beyond belief is now spiraling into a pit of self-hatred as the last three months of stress crash upon his shoulders. It's too much for him to handle.

If he loves you, why did he leave you?

"Are you okay? Recess is over. Why are you sitting here all alone?"

Peter looks up to see the principal, who was also in charge of watching the children during recess. He's surprised to see everyone already gone, that all the students have already gone to class with little concern for his well being. He should have expected as much.

"Have you been crying all recess? Are you okay?"

Peter wipes his face on his sleeve and tries to blink the sadness from his eyes, but it's already too late. The tears have already stained his face, his pale skin red from lack of oxygen and his eyes sore. He can still barely breathe, but he's starting to even out a bit now that he has to focus his attention in front of him.

The woman crouches down to get on his level. He doesn't know her - he's never been sent to the office a day in his life - but she seems kind enough. She reminds him a bit of his Auntie Tasha, but she doesn't have the same playful glint in her eyes as the nanny.

She hands him a tissue she pulls from her pocket, and he tries to wipe the tears from his face before returning to class. He's probably going to be in enough trouble already for being late, but he doesn't want to go back to class with snot dripping down his face. He can't give the kids any more reasons to pick on him.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Peter Stark," he chokes out. He's feeling a bit more level headed now, but he doesn't want to talk too much with his throat so sore. He's afraid he'll start crying again if he speaks too much.

A flash of realization dances across the woman's face. It all makes sense now. The teachers have had enough discussions in the privacy of the teacher's lounge to know the difficulties in this child's life. They've seen the tabloids of his missing father. He's been going through so much these last few months.

They've been warned by his mother to watch for anything like this. They've been told he can come home at any time and take a day off school, to be surrounded by his loved ones, instead of the harsh realities of his situation. He's young, and despite how strong the little boy's been acting, something like this was bound to happen. They'd all expected something like this to happen, no matter how strong the boy's been acting.

The principal's heart skips a beat for the boy in front of her. She can barely imagine what he's going through, let alone at such a vulnerable young age. She feels a need to protect him. She has to help him and take care of him.

She reaches out her hand to pull Peter off the cold ground. She can't help but notice that despite his zip-up hoodie and the warm weather surrounding them, the boy trembles deeply with freezing cold shivers. All the heat has been sucked from his little body.

"Come on Peter. I think it would be for the best if you head home for the day."

"I'm sorry," he says in response as they head inside and start walking towards the office. Peter is watching the ground with his head held low in shame. The guilt still rushes through his system from all of today's failings.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Peter. I just think you need to go home and rest a bit. I wish I could take a nap in the middle of the day," she says with her kindest tone and a deep laugh.

Once in the office, the woman sits Peter on a couch meant for children who are ordinarily sick and wraps a blanket around him tightly to warm him up. She hands him a small chocolate bar from her desk in an attempt to raise his spirits and blood sugar, but he just holds it in his hands as he blinks wearily. He doesn't feel like eating right now.

"You stay here for a few minutes. I'm going to call your parents to come to pick you up."

"You have to call my mom. My dad's out of town," he mumbles.

She just nods her head. She knows what really happened to Tony Stark, but she won't be the one to inform him of the danger his father's truly in. It isn't her place. She knows Pepper wishes to keep the danger a secret so that Peter doesn't have to worry.

She takes a few steps away and enters her office, but keeps an eye on the boy through her doorway. She quickly pulls up the numbers from his file on her computer.

There are three numbers loaded on the screen, though she knows the emergency contact of Tony Stark isn't worth trying with him missing. It's not like they've ever used that number before anyways. It's only there for complete emergencies, as Peter's mother is the one most involved with the school and does most of the work raising Peter.

She dials the number for Pepper Potts and frowns when it rings a few times before going to voicemail. She rings again, but just can't seem to get anyone to pick up. This has never happened before with Peter, but it must just be a result of Pepper's new role in the company. She leaves a quick voicemail before continuing down the list.

The next number is Natasha Rushman, listed with the relation of the nanny. The vice principal doesn't know the woman very well, but she's aware that Natasha drops Peter off at school most days before she spends the day helping the Stark household. The school is informed that they can trust the nanny to pick Peter up from school at any time.

She dials the number but is perplexed again when the number goes straight to voicemail. With a troubled sigh, she leaves a voicemail urging them to call her back as soon as possible and how Peter could really use the support of his family right now. It doesn't feel right for her to leave the boy without any support system in such a sorrow filled moment of his life.

She heads back into the main room of the office and kneels next to Peter.

"I tried calling your family, but I couldn't get a hold of anyone. They're probably just busy with something right now. School ends in an hour, so I'm sure someone will be here soon anyway. Until then, why don't you just take a nap on the couch? Doesn't that sound nice?"

Peter doesn't want to go to sleep, despite the tiredness that is weighing him down but agrees anyway. He doesn't want to disobey the principle when he's already caused so much trouble. He can't help but linger on the rocks he threw at the other kids when he became upset, or the way he missed his cue to go inside after recess.

He pulls himself onto the couch and lays with his head on a small pillow. The principle takes a few moments to tuck him in and then stands up. She takes the melted candy bar from his hand and sets it on the table in front of him.

"I'll just be over in my office working on some paperwork. If you need anything, and I mean anything at all, I need you to promise you'll come find me. It's no problem at all."

The boy nods and she smiles at him one more time before she heads back in, hoping his parents will call back soon. She can only keep a close eye on him in the meantime.

Peter nuzzles his head into the scratchy fabric of the pillow, but can't get himself to relax enough. He's as tired as can be, but he's still really fidgety from earlier, and forbidden thoughts keep flashing through his mind. He knows he shouldn't believe anything Flash said to him, that he's just a bully, but everything said to him did seem to match up with his current situation. He can't help but wonder if Flash was right and if all those horrible things are real.

He can't help but wonder if his dad really does leave them. Does his dad love any of their little family, or is Peter really just as stupid as Flash believes he is.

He did fail that test. Despite studying and being sure of his answers, he wasn't as smart as his dad thought he was. And he forgot his lunch when it was his one responsibility this morning. His dad would surely expect more from him.

His stomach grumbles in protest and Peter rolls over on the small couch, tucking his face against the back end to shield out the lights of the room around him. His fingers squeeze into a tight ball as he tries to drain the sounds of bustling school from his mind. Even typing from computers seems like too much right now.

His heart begins racing as a few teardrops fall from the corner of his eyes once more. He lets them soak onto the couch before he starts concentrating on his breathing. He doesn't want anyone coming over to check on him if he starts choking again. He doesn't want to seem weak to the woman who was so kind to him.

He closes his eyes as his heart rate starts to fall again. With the adrenaline draining from his system for the second time in the last hour, Peter can feel the exhaustion of sleep pulling over him. He can't fight his tiredness even longer, even if he still feels like crap.

He lets his body doze off.

* * *

Peter doesn't dream. He sleeps lightly, enough that he can still hear the bustle of the office around him. His body is too stressed to bring him pictures to make him feel better, too hungry to do anything but heal from his earlier breakdown. Even the comfort of his the mystery woman evades him today.

"Buddy, are you feeling any better?"

The voice is husky and rough, nothing like he's heard in a long time, but it pulls him from his dreamless sleep. It reaches right through his thick fog of sleep and pulls right into his heartstrings. This person is important. This is someone Peter loves so very much.

"Maybe we should just let him sleep. I found him sobbing in the middle of the schoolyard crying. He probably needs to rest," he can hear the principle saying.

"I've waited three months to see my son. I can't wait any longer," the man says urgently. There's desperation in his voice that gathers in Peter's heart as guilt.

Son? Why would this man call Peter his son?

Unless...

"Dad!"

Peter shouts as he throws the blanket off of him and stands a little too quickly, wobbling a bit to balance himself. He's instantly awake, unable to handle the flood of excitement that rushes through him. His dad's come back for him.

"That's right. I'm right here, bud. I'm home."

Peter throws himself straight into his father's arms. He holds on tightly, unnoticing of the chunk of metal being held firmly against him or the cuts that litter Tony's face. All the boy can feel is his father's strong warm skin against his body and heartbeat against his ears. He feels small as trembles of excitement shake through him, and he has to hold his eyes closed to keep himself from crying anymore.

"You came back," he whispers into his father's shoulder. The man squeezes him strongly in response. Peter relishes himself into his father's hold.

"I'm so sorry. I never meant to be away for so long. I wanted to come home every day. I promise. I'll never ever leave you like that again."

He takes a moment to peak over his dad's shoulder and check on his mom. She smiles the most enormous grin he's seen in months and can't help but smile and laugh in return as all the hurt slowly drains from his system.

Peter shakes in his dad's arms for the third time that day, but this time it from all the happiness flooding his system. He knew that his dad loved him, even if he never dared to say those specific words, but it feels so good to be close to him again.

He's safe, surrounded by the people who love him most. His father, his mother, and his Auntie Tasha. Everything is going to turn out okay now.

His family is whole again, and he couldn't be happier.

 **Authors Notes:** I have a small Kickstarter going on right now for enamel pins if you want to support me. There's a Spider-Man pin included, though I'm not sure if we'll unlock that one. You can always check it out though if you like HTTYD, Pokemon, Steven Universe, or other fandoms.

projects/slothiestudios/fandom-plushie-pals-hard-enamel-pins?ref=7323z6


	6. Ironman

To say Peter is feeling a lot better today is an understatement.

The reunion with his father is exactly what he needs to start feeling better. He needed to see his father safe and sound after so many months of mystery in pain. Not only for his own sake but the sake of his mother. As sad as he was, there was a longing sadness inside the little boy from seeing his mother in so much pain. She was mostly busy during the day, but he often found himself crawling into her bed at night when he hears her sobbing through the walls.

Things just weren't the same in the Stark household with the inventor gone - not for Peter and definitely not for Pepper. There are fewer jokes and funny snipes from his mother. The fancy-free attitude is replaced with an air of sadness and dread. Even though Peter never knows the extent of his father's near-death experience, he still could feel that something wasn't right from his mom's vibes alone. Despite Pepper's best efforts, each day around his mother drains the little boy's internal batteries, leaving him more and more broken.

Peter wants to be a happy boy. That's already who he is most of the time - it's never something he has to force. It's just something that comes naturally to him. But everyone has their limit on what they can handle in such a short time, especially when surrounded by the negative auras of a grieving family. Peter was just reaching his final breaking point when his dad picks him up from the office that day.

Not that Pepper ever meant to hurt her special little boy. She just had a lot going on, and so much to worry about.

Sometimes, when Peter has a rough time, he's lucky enough to receive visits from his birth mother in his dreams. The boy isn't sure who the woman is, but there's something about her calmness that leaves him feeling less sad, even if he's always virtually exhausted the next day. There are promises of love and apologies unspoken between them. They are heavy in the empty space in his heart.

It has to be enough because Peter will never feel her touch in real life - never meet her or feel the love she shares for her son. He has nothing left of the Parker life he once lived - no reminder of the legacy before him. Something Pepper thinks about often since they aren't technically related - not a bit related in blood. He deserves to know his culture and family tree on both sides.

Pepper also worries for the day she'll have to reveal their relationship - to admit that she really isn't his mother. She can love him in her entirety for the rest of her live, and still, there may be a day where that isn't enough for Peter, where he decides to stop calling her mom and start calling her Miss Pepper instead.

Not that is matters. Peter Stark will forever be _her_ boy. Her son. She will never give that up.

The trio even looks like a real family as they lounge around the large dining room table in the early morning light. There's a large stack of chocolate chip pancakes - baked by Pepper, of course - in the center with all kinds of fixings spread for the family. It's meant to celebrate the reunion of their little family, something special for each of their tastes. Pepper can't help but spoil her family after everything they've been through.

Tony Stark sits at the head of the table with a coffee in his right hand. It's the first coffee he's had since his return, and it reminds him of the reason he hired Pepper as his secretary in the first place. Her coffee is killer - one of the best cups of joe in all of New York. He sips greedily at the hot black liquid. And when it burns the inside of his mouth and throat, Tony doesn't mind - it's nothing compared to the pain he's experiencing right now. Nothing to the pain he's experienced all the time he's been away.

Time heals many wounds. Returning has already started to fix the pain in his mind and the scars ripped through his chest. He highly regrets spending so much time away from his son before his kidnapping, and is determined to do better now. He has to be a proper dad. He needs to be better for his family.

Pepper sits to the right of Tony, close enough that she can refill her family's plates on a moment's notice. She's doing her best to keep it together since she hasn't had a chance to sleep in forty-eight hours with everything going on. There are still so many emotions swirling inside the woman, confessions that she's becoming less sure of with each passing second. She wants to scream and cry and get everything neatly laid out and sorted, yet there are more important things right now. Peter and Stark Industries have to take priority.

So instead, she focuses her energy on the little boy sitting across from her.

Peter is munching messily on another stack of pancakes - his second pancake breakfast in two days time - as he swings his legs happily underneath the large table. His mom can feel the movements as he moves around, the way her little boy can't stand still when this overjoyed. Pepper can't help but smile to see her boy feeling better.

"Why don't you tell your daddy about how we built bears. I think he'd enjoy that."

"I built a dog. Not a b... bear. But your robots are c... cooler," the young boy mumbles into his fork. There's the tiniest bit of blush dancing on his cheeks as he answers. He's clearly embarrassed to mention the creation of his dog plushie when his dad creates things that are so much more amazing like robots and state of the art cell phones.

"Don't say that, buddy. I want to hear all about it. How does one build a bear?"

"Y... you don't really build it like you do. There's a skin, and you choose a heart, and make a wish, and put it in the skin." Peter's a little bit shy at first when he talks, but as he continues, he can't help but notice how intently his father is listening, and it gives the boy the boost of confidence he needs to keep going. His father's pride and smile do a lot towards healing any worry that's left inside. "And then they stuff it, but the stuffing machine was super cool. She powered it with a petal and the fluff just swirled around and around. Like clouds!"

"They stuff an empty animal skin? That sounds... very terrifying. You let him do this Pepper?"

Peter and his mom break out into the laughter. Tony's face is just too priceless. They can't tell if he's joking or being serious, but they're both just happy to be entertained by him once again. The house was definitely too quiet without him here making jokes and silly faces.

"They aren't real skins," his mother explains. "Just doll skins. I guess skin is a weird word for it."

"I can show you my puppy after breakfast. His name is Cuddles because he loves to cuddle. He also loves to roller skate and helps me with my legos."

"And I can show you the video later, Tony. They made him do this little dance when he made the bear. It's the cutest thing I've ever witnessed," Pepper whispers into Tony's ear.

"That sounds great, Peter. I'd love to meet Cuddles. Although I'm a little curious how he puts together legos with paws? He must be a very talented toy."

* * *

The Starks settle in the living room after breakfast.

The parents decide to remove Peter from school over the next few days in the hopes of cheering him up. The boy won't miss much at his grade level since everything's pretty easy. All the teachers and senior staff seem to agree that he needs time to heal, so it wasn't too difficult to get the absences excused. The most important thing right now is that they repair their broken family.

Pepper and Tony are sharing the large sofa as Peter plays on the floor with Cuddles. There's a good amount of space between them as they sit on opposite sides, but there's a sense of security surrounding them. They've missed being so close, and there's something clearly going on between them, but neither has the time or energy to figure it out right now.

Despite Peter's description of the plush toy and it's amazing abilities, Tony is quite shocked to see that the plushie actually can roller skate. He thought it was just a make-believe game the boy had invented, but the father is impressed in the clever tactic that his son has figured out to make it move. It reminds the dad of his early inventor days, before he was allowed to have access to the tools he needed, and right before he started getting degraded for playing with his toys.

"Did someone at the store show him that?" he whispers in Pepper's ear when his son is distracted.

She shakes her head proudly as she replies. "Nope. He figured it out all on his own."

Even though Tony's face still aches from the cuts that paint his forehead, there's a proud smirk that slowly appears. He's becoming proud of the ideas that are coming from his boy, even though he's partly ashamed for never being proud of him before - never recognizing the eager intelligence his boy exudes. Tony was too scared to get hurt - he had never noticed the similarities they share.

The small ride of happiness doesn't last long. There's still a painful fog filled deep within Tony, but all he can do is try to live in the current moment, to enjoy the company of his boy.

"Can we put on some cartoons, mommy?" Peter boy asks from his spot on the floor.

"Of course we can. Whatever you want," the mom says as she grabs the remote and turns on the television. She's about to change the channel when Tony puts his hand on her leg. It throws her into an air of confusion for a few seconds, until she realizes he's asking her to leave the channel alone. This program is important to him.

The channel currently playing is Fox News, which Tony normally wouldn't normally give two shits for, but his previous press conference is being discussed. He's a bit curious.

Tony watches the exhaustion in his own eyes as he sits slides to the floor, encouraging the press around him to do the same. It's barely different from what his son is doing right now, watching the television with an expression of awe. He's never seen his father on the television before.

There's a deafening silence as everyone in the room as everyone watches will their full attention. The man on the screen, though confident and sure of himself on the outside, is clearly in a lot of pain. There's clearly so much on his mind, worries that go far beyond the facial cuts and the uneven beating of his heart. This man, no matter how happy to be home with his family, has been broken by his circumstances.

The man on screen is a stranger, even though Tony is technically the same person, only now surrounded by his family. There's a disconnect that Tony can't escape, because when he watches the man on television talk so flawlessly, he's reminded of his past personas - the man that invented in weapons and killed hundreds of thousands of people. This man is a killer.

The man on the couch doesn't want to be a killer - the Merchant of Death that he's always been defined by. He wants to do better for his family, and by extension, the world around him. He wants to build a legacy that his son can be proud of. Unlike the mess that his own father left him. He wants to help people. He wants to be a hero.

 _"I had my eyes opened. I came to realized that I have more to offer this world than just making things that blow up."_

 _"And that is why, effective immediately, I am shutting down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark International until suck a time as I can decide what the future of the company will be."_

Pepper squeezes Tony's hand in support when she can see him seizing up on the couch, the beginnings of a panic attack setting behind his tired eyes. Their son may not yet understand the consequences of his father's actions, but Pepper does, and she will do all the can to fix their little broken family.

Just like Stark Industries, with the proper care and support, the family can rebuild from nothing. Together they can become whole again.

"Cartoons now?"

"Of course, buddy. Anything you want."

* * *

"You didn't even want the nanny. I don't see why this is such an issue."

The problem is that Tony doesn't understand. He'd fought time and time again for them to hire a nanny to care for the boy, but Pepper had dug her heels in every time, refusing to let Peter be raised by the help when she was a more than capable mother. She didn't need any outside influences telling her boy what was write and wrong. That's something only the boy's parents should be teaching him.

It was only once Tony was stuck away from home, rotting in a cave in a war-torn country, and that Pepper had resumed temporary responsibility for Stark Industries, that she'd finally given in. The man knows how difficult the decision must have been for her, considering how many times they were on the opposite side of the argument, which is one of the reasons he was so ready to dismiss the nanny. They didn't need her now that Tony had returned to the tower.

And Tony admits that Pepper was right about the nanny idea all along. The nannies that had raised Tony had been great - he had the utmost respect for them - but they weren't really his family. He had spent his entire childhood longing for his mother's attention. His mom had always been too distracted being the proper wife, even when she did love her son. She just had so many things going on when it came to Howard Stark. There was always something better or more important than Tony.

And yet Tony had been doing that to his own son - he had been advocating hiring someone else to raise the boy. It took Tony a single day in the disheveled cave, being held against his own free will, to realize what he had been missing out all along. The walls he'd put up weren't keeping anyone safe. Not Tony. Not his family. They were only further ripping them apart.

"Because now Peter is attached to her. He calls her Auntie Tasha. They spend all their time together. We can't just rip them apart."

"But he isn't his Aunt. She isn't related to any of us. She isn't his true family."

"No. You're wrong. That's what I'm trying to explain. It isn't that simple. She's part of his family now, even if they aren't related.

"But not for real. They aren't really family."

"Is that really what you think? That you have to be blood-related to be part of a family? I thought that wasn't the kind of thing we were trying to teach Peter."

The argument is becoming personal now with such toxic words being exchanged. Tony can see the within the fire that is Pepper's eyes. He's struck a core within the woman with the things he's said, with the things he's accidentally implied. And even if he knows it could have phrased it better, it's too late now. He feels really shitty for the implications he's thrown on her.

A part of Tony debates backpedaling in his arguments, taking the time to apologize to Pepper so that they can both take a few moments to calm down. But he isn't willing to step down. Tony can't do so when he's so determined to do what's right for Peter. And Pepper can't back down with so much pain growing within her heart.

"You know I didn't mean you. You know the argument was about the nanny. We're talking about the nanny. Don't make this personal."

"Her name is Natasha. Not the nanny. Not her. I know how hard it can be for you to remember the help's names, though."

Pepper isn't screaming, but there's a spiteful tone in her voice that can't be ignored. It's like venom, words spiting from her mouth like the venom of a cobra. This is no longer an argument between two civilized human beings, but a full fighting match between two broken parents. This is personal.

"But I should have known all along that you only see me as the help. I'm just here to raise Peter, right? I don't actually have any rights over him. I never have."

Guilt builds deep inside the man. Despite the tears forming in the woman's eyes from his words, there's a solid truth to the things she's saying. He's never given Pepper any rights to the boy on paper. She can't make medical decisions without Tony's permission, can't get on Peter's contact form without his go-ahead, can't travel outside the county with him. There's always an anxiety within her about losing her son. At any moment, Tony could rip his son away from her, or throw him back into the foster system he nearly entered, and Pepper would have no choice in the matter.

Tony was never a good dad, even if he wants to change that fact now. But Pepper was always the perfect mom for Peter from day one. She deserves to be his mother.

The man can't change the past. He can't change the legal guardianship of his son in this very moment, not when they're in the middle of a heated argument. It will have to be something Tony deals with later when the nanny has been appropriately let go. It would only be nonproductive to dwell on Pepper's feelings right now.

Because there's a more pressing matter at hand for Tony Stark. Despite the closer of the weapons division at Stark Industries, Tony's invented one of the most dangerous weapons to date. It sits in his workshop at the moment - a proper passion project that he's worked on every single night since his return. Something he has hidden not only from the world around him, but from Pepper too.

Such a weapon can't be let into the hands of anyone but himself. It's only there to protect Tony from the horrors he's experienced, but to an extension, defend his family from possible kidnappings and torture he's experienced. He can't be sure if they will be the next target and the threat looms over Tony, alongside all the pain and panic he's still experiencing.

The nanny is not only unnecessary now, but she's also unknown and untrustworthy. She's a danger to Tony, and therefore, a danger to Peter and Pepper by extension. She's a nameless person with access to technology beyond the majority of the population, with a weaponized suit in her grasp. There's too much danger if she's kept around.

"I'm sorry, Pepper. The decision has been made without you. We are letting her go. And I would appreciate it if you let me make the big decisions for Peter. He is my son, after all."

Pepper shakes her head solemnly. The argument is barely about the nanny anymore, but she can't find the will to fight him. Not without saying something she'll truly regret, or risk losing access to her son.

She doesn't appreciate how Tony's making decisions for Peter like this and the things he's implying, but there's nothing she can really do or say to change his mind. She's worried to push the man over the edge, and only bites her tongue because there's nothing in the world that's worth saying when her relationship with her son is at risk. She would never risk losing Peter.

It isn't fair to her. Tony knows that. But he also knows how unfair life can be at times.

* * *

"I don't think I understand. Did I do something wrong?"

Natasha's mind is swirling. She truly doesn't understand, not with how much Peter was coming to rely on her. Not with the love that swirled in the boy's eyes whenever he saw her.

She expected her hours would be reduced with Tony's return. That was bound to happen with the two parents home, even if Tony was returning as the CEO of Stark Industries and would still be moderately busy. Even with Pepper returning as a full-time mother, the nanny was sure that she could receive some shifts when they needed date night or a babysitter. There are always times that parents could use the extra help for babysitting or cleaning.

 _Unless? That couldn't be possible? Could it? Could they have somehow figured it out?_

Natasha wonders the possibilities of her spy background and the mission she's currently on. The fact that she's not supposed to be growing attached to the has become a problem the last few months since that was never her mission, to begin with. As valuable as a close connection to this family can be, that's not why she's really here. A position of power with Pepper Potts and Peter Stark is valuable for manipulation purposes, but her actual mission is to retrieve hidden documents and company secrets for her agency.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Pepper assures from across the table. The spy can't help but notice the rim of tears growing in her eyes, the way the words create pain inside, and Natasha quickly deduces that this decision was never hers. It's Peter's father behind this heartbreaking termination. "We just don't require your services any longer, with Tony and I both around to take care of Peter. We'd be happy to find you another position within Stark Industries, or give you a glowing recommendation if you wish to pursue other ventures Tony has many connections that could likely get you in wherever you wish."

Natasha shouldn't be so ripped up by the decision. She was here for a mission. She wasn't here for social connections or companionship.

And yet, something is growing inside her from the time she's spends alongside Peter. From the second she looks into those large brown doe-like eyes, she finds herself giving in to all of his wishes and desires. There's something about helping the little man that makes her heart melt each time. It makes her feel soft inside. She appreciates the feeling of assisting Peter and Pepper, instead of manipulating people to get what she wants. She begins to wonder if she can be more than the training that's ingrained in her mind.

There's something golden growing inside her heart from helping this family become greater. There's even a part of her that considered herself part of the broken little family.

"What about Peter? Aren't you worried that this will upset him? We've spent nearly every single day together since your absence."

"Peter has me now. His real family, his blood family," the man states matter of factually. There's a small flinch beside him in the form of Pepper, clearly upset by his words, but holding herself back for some reason Natasha can't yet grasp. She knows of the family's odd relations. She can feel how rude his words truly are. She can sense the tension in the room.

"And Pepper too," he quickly adds, when he notices the way Pepper is curling in on herself mentally, as well as the gaping look from the nanny. The women are eyeing each other across the space of the small table, challenging each other to do something, say something against the tyrant of a father. But neither dare to speak.

Natasha bows her head. She must have been wrong to think of herself as Peter's actual Aunt, an actual part of the family. She knows she was probably just being too soft, something that she was taught from day one to avoid. It goes against every bit of her training to be loving and kind for non-manipulative purposes.

The spy only has herself to blame for the pain in her chest.

"I'm prepared to give you a few years full salary and full-time benefits if you would like to take some time off instead. Pepper and I are really appreciative for the effort you've put forward. We just think that it's best now for Peter to readjust to his life before. We want him to return to a life of full normalcy - at least as much as possible for a Stark like him."

This is probably for the better. She tries to ground herself and stay focused on the mission at hand, even when all she can feel is her broken heart. The spy has a job to do, and she has to admit to herself, she wasn't getting very far with her constantly trailing behind the kid. The little boy, as well as the constant tea times and conversations with Pepper, are a continual distraction from her mission. Now Natasha can put her full focus on the project once more.

That doesn't stop her heart from hurting, though. Not one little bit.

"I would love to stay at Stark Industries," she lies through her teeth, trying her best to seem as natural as ever. "I'll keep an eye on the openings over the next few days. Thank you so much for the opportunity."

Pepper stares at her hands. They're neatly folded at the table, probably to keep them from trembling, something of which Tony clearly hasn't caught on to. Or maybe he has noticed, and it's possible that he just doesn't care for Pepper the way Natasha thought. Pepper's late-night sobbing always seemed to tell the spy otherwise. It seemed like they were nearly a couple, but as a single tear trails down Pepper's face and is quickly wiped, she finds herself disgusted and disappointed by the man in front of her.

"Can I at least say goodbye? To Peter?"

It's clear that Tony is about to say no, but Pepper puts her hand in front of him instead. The movement surprises him since she's been quiet and obedient the entire conversation. It gives her a few seconds to get her own words in as he throws her an annoyed look. "Of course you can say goodbye to him. You deserve that."

"I don't think that's best. It's better to just rip the band-aid off, so to speak."

"All respect due, Mr. Stark. When you were gone, he had no clue what was going on. And each day that you were gone, I watched the innocence and joy drain from Peter's eyes, until the day he finally broke down at school. He didn't know what was happening, or if you were ever coming back. He didn't know why you were gone. He spent every day wondering if it was something he did. He developed a stutter, and became sick all the time, and barely would eat a bite of food towards the end."

"I just... I don't want him to feel that way so soon. I know you had no choice in what happened, but I do. I can't do that to him. Not on purpose."

Tears are rimming her eyes. She's sharing the same sentiment as Pepper, the same drive to never hurt the little boy ever again. Not after all they've been through together. Not after everything she's seen in the father's absence. Peter deserves better than this. He deserves better than what this man is giving him in this moment.

"It would be what's best for him. He did go through quite a lot," Pepper says gently. It's the quietest the spy has ever seen the woman talk, which makes Natasha highly suspicious of the man's behavior. There's a few thoughts about him hurting her, or threatening the woman. Natasha's come to accept as a close friend over the last months and is tempted to say something in Pepper's defense, but she bites her tongue. She can always deal with Tony later. She has that power.

"I guess that's fair. Just don't make us look bad. He deserves to have a happy family now."

Natasha wants to fight back, to tell Tony about how he's the only one damaging Peter, but she holds her tongue. She's getting the chance to say goodbye to Peter, which is the most important thing right now. It's the best thing for the boy and her breaking heart. This is better than nothing.

One quick goodbye, and then she can get back to her mission.

* * *

There's a painful air of anxiety in the house that can't be avoided.

Tony sits on the couch, close enough to listen in on the coming farewells, ready to step in at a moments notice. It's as if he doesn't wholly trust the nanny, despite all the months of childcare under her belt from the last quarter of a year, and is ready to kick her out any second despite his permission for a quick goodbye. There's a pain on his brows and twitch in his knuckles as he strums the side of the couch, thinking deeply to himself. Natasha can barely believe that this is the man that Pepper fell in love with.

Natasha can't help but laugh. The father does have a point. She did come to the Stark household with an ulterior motive and a mission to steal protected documents, but even she has to admit that the mission has barely crossed her mind until her termination yesterday. She had been faltering on her loyalty to SHIELD ever since coming here, her desire to contribute to a happy family and growing boy stronger than any training could have ever created. Maybe it's the fact she can't have children of her own, but she's really grown to consider Peter as a nephew. And now she's being forced to leave.

Pepper stands close to the spy, holding fidgeting with her arms in a worrying stance. It isn't the Pepper that the spy has grown to know. Something much crueler is going on within these walls, and it's causing a voice to scream in the back of Natasha's mind - she needs to do something to make this okay, even if she will be working somewhere else in the tower soon. She needs to help the mom.

"Is everything okay?" she whispers out of the man's hearing range.

"I'm sorry for this," Pepper whispers quickly in reply. It doesn't answer the question, which only happens to worry Natasha further.

"You have my number. You'll call or text if you need anything, right? You can at any time. I will pick up."

Pepper nods in reply. Natasha can only hope - and pray - that Pepper truly believes it. She needs them to be safe.

They approach the dining room together. Peter's currently putting together a Lego set alongside his dog plushie. There's a tired weariness behind the boy's eyes, but he finally seems to be healing with this father home. It sends a small shiver of hope into the spy's soul to see him getting better. Hopefully, her departure won't damage him any more than it has to.

"Peter, honey. We have to talk for a few minutes. Do you mind taking a break?"

"Of course mommy," the boy says, pushing his current build aside. He looks up at the two women with his large chestnut eyes and Natasha's heart nearly breaks, if there was anything left to break. She feels the pain of horrible for the words she's about to speak more than anyone. The trust he has in her is complete and unbreakable, yet she's about to smash it into a bunch of tiny bite-sized pieces.

"I've really enjoyed spending so much time with you over the last while, Peter. You're such an amazing boy. So talented and smart. I know you're having a rough patch in school right now, but these things will settle over time and get better. Times are just really tough sometimes. You know?"

Peter nods hesitantly. It's clear he's had some worries in himself the last few weeks. Natasha's noticed his confidence has been lacking and she can't stand to break it anymore by leaving.

"We wanted to talk to you about something else, though. Something a bit more difficult to say."

"You know Natasha isn't actually your Auntie. Right, Peter? She's actually your nanny. It's her job to look after you."

"I know, but I call her Auntie because she loves me, and takes care of me. And I love her too. You said it was okay."

"I know baby," Pepper replies softly. "You didn't do anything wrong. It's just that nanny's don't work with their families forever. Since daddy is home, and I'm here to take care of you, we don't really need a nanny anymore. She has to go help another family now.."

Natasha can see the gears turning as the boy analyzes the words, carefully processing what his mom is saying. It's almost like he can't believe it. There was never a doubt in his mind that he would lose someone he's grown to love so much - a person he's completely shared his entire life with over the last few months.

"Auntie Tasha is leaving?" Peter whispers in shock.

"I'm sorry, Peter. I have other families that need me now. I've just came over to say goodbye. You'll give me a goodbye hug, right?"

He's frozen in his chair. He can barely process what's going on. There are too many stimuli with the burden of the words being forced upon him. And even though he knows he's sitting at the table with his mom and nanny, he feels like he's outside the conversation, listening in on a strange place. This is never something he would imagine could happen.

"Please?" Natasha whispers one last time. She just needs one solid goodbye to get through the next few days.

That word seems to snap Peter out of his haze. He speeds around the table and jumps into her lap, throwing his arms around the nanny. She wraps her arms around him too, holding him close as he nuzzles into her neck warmly. His hug is tight and comforting, and there's a part of Natasha that never wants to let go, but she knows she doesn't have a choice.

"Everything will be okay, baby spider. I promise," she coos as she rubs his back. Her touch is the most gentle it's ever been before.

"I don't want you to go," he barely babbles out as the tears start streaming down his face. He's already beginning to snot into her shirt as he holds her tightly and cries, but Natasha couldn't care less about the mess he's making. This is the sweetest little boy she's ever met. She loves this boy. More than anything in the world.

"Please don't go," he begs as Natasha begins to loosen her grip, letting their hug come to an end. Even though she wants to let go, and knows she doesn't really have a choice, there's a part of her that appreciates that the boy won't let her go. If Tony refuses to share the boy, and Pepper is unable to speak her opinion, at least Peter will fight for her.

But there's a sad part inside Natasha because his fighting is worth nothing. Peter is only a child, and he'll never get to decide whether the nanny stays or goes. Even if he loves her deeply, and would do anything to stick to her side, there's nothing he can do.

"Peter, baby. You have to let her go. She needs to go home now."

Natasha gives the boy one more solid squeeze before letting him go, but he just refuses to loosen his grip on the woman. He just sobs into the side of her, saying something she can barely understand as he chokes on his cries, and tightly holds her shirt inside his fists.

It's at this point that the screaming has become unbearable for Natasha's heart and she starts to wonder if this was the right decision. Peter deserved a goodbye. She's sure of that fact. It's definitely not right to abandon the boy with no knowledge of where she's gone, but it leaves her with anguish to see him like this. It hurts to see him crying so hard.

"Alright, Peter. Time to say goodbye," she hears as Tony enters the room. His posture is large and threatening as he stands next to Pepper, and the spy can't help but notice the way Pepper bows her head to block out whatever is going to happen. She's purposely standing down to his will.

Natasha can't help but glare at the glowing arch reactor on his chest as she rubs Peter's back. She knows there's a weaponized extension to his arc reactor that sits only a few floors below in his workshop. It can't hurt her from so far away, but there's a broken aura around the man that she can't trust to do something dangerous. She can't risk endangering the broken little family.

"NO!" The boy is shouting as he holds onto Natasha even tighter. He refuses to ever let her go. He isn't ready to say goodbye.

And then suddenly the boy is gone. She can feel her shirt tug one more time as Peter holds onto it with his death grip, but his firsts are forced away by Tony's large hands. He's being forced away against his will.

The spy can only watch in horror as Tony pulls Peter away from her body. She's seen many horrors before: men battling to the blood over squabbles, deadly methods of torture involving every liquid you could ever imagine, and even people bleeding to death on the floor from her weapons. She's killed and tortured so many people. But those were grown men and women.

Nothing, and Natasha is sure absolutely nothing, compares to the horror of her little Peter being ripped away from her by the man with the glowing chest. The boy is screaming as he flails around, desperate to grab onto any possible thing and get himself out of his father's grasp. There's a painful panic growing within the boy.

"I think you should go now," Tony says as he pulls Peter back towards his room by his wrist. The boy is screaming bloody murder now as he grabs at his wrist painfully, but Tony refuses to let him go while the nanny is still here.

Natasha wants to fight Tony and defend the little screaming boy. She wants to force Tony to the ground and hide Peter away at SHIELD headquarters where he will be safe alongside his mother. There's a need deep inside the spy to jam her elbow into the man's throat and show him who's alpha, but she knows she can't do that because it would jeopardize her mission.

Though the more she thinks about it, the less she cares about her mission. She only cares about helping Peter.

The best thing for Peter right now is to leave and let the boy cry it out. She doesn't know how Tony will react if she fights back - even though Natasha is sure she could kick his ass - or the possible threats that have been made against Pepper. She can't risk the safety of the boy or the mom in this moment, so she chooses to do nothing instead. There isn't anything she can possibly do.

The spy balls her fists as she gives Pepper a quick hug and leaves.

* * *

There are three nights of horrible bedtimes that follow that disgusting day.

Peter does not take the separation easily. It was usually his Auntie Tasha that tucks him into bed at night, singing the sunflower lullaby that he'd come to love so dearly. And the nanny knew how to tuck the blanket so that the boy felt like the most perfectly wrapped burrito, which was something he'd come to appreciate.

His mom just doesn't tuck him the same way. Not to say her blanket tucking skills are sub-par, but he just likes the silly way his nanny tucks him. Nothing seems right with her gone.

The boy goes the whole day like nothing is wrong, and once he's back in his empty bed, he loses the entirety of his happiness and becomes an empty shell of a boy. There's something about his bed that's just become a place of sorrow, no matter what his mother does to help. He can't go a single night without sobbing into his pillow with his Auntie Tasha gone.

Pepper's tried everything to help him: bedtime stories, bedtime movies to distract him, and even letting him fall asleep against his mother's side. Nothing works. The mom's heart only continues to break time and time again as she watches Peter fall asleep from the eventual exhaustion brought on by his tears. This isn't how anyone should be living.

With Peter finally asleep under the cover of his thick blankets and a reminder to set on JARVIS to keep him safe, Pepper gets onto the elevator with a command to Tony's lab.

She isn't what she is going to say. She's not even sure of how far she can push the conversation without angering Tony again, but she feels like she has to do something to help her son. She can't stand to watch him cry himself to sleep one more night. Maybe they can let the nanny back for a few times a week, ease Peter out of her slowly and safely.

The last thing she expects to see is Tony standing with his limbs spread out as robotic arms reach around him.

It only takes a few more moments for her to notice the circumstance of the room. There's broken shards of glass surrounding him, the entire glass wall of his lab broken around her heels. There's clearly been some sort of struggle in here, and she finds herself lost in a mess.

"Ow! Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah..."

"Well it is a tight fit sir," she can hear the robotic voice of JARVIS respond as he moves the arms, working to take off some sort of red plated armor. Tony's movements are only making the job harder. "Sir, the more you struggle, the more this is going to hurt."

"Be gentle. This is my first time," Tony jokes. No one finds it funny.

Pepper listens to them bicker and struggle a few more lines before she can't stand it anymore. The annoyance on her face is as clear as day as she stomps around to a more visible position.

"What's going on here?" she whispers.

"Let's face it... This is not the worst thing you've caught me doing."

She stares at the metallic armor a bit more closely. She can feel her stomach flipping in her chest as she notices the small dents that cover the majority of him, small scratches that rip off the red and gold paint of the suit. Someone's been shooting at Tony.

"Are those bullet holes?"

Pepper feels like she's going to puke. She's definitely not the biggest fan of Tony right now, but the thought of someone shooting at him with such ferocity makes her furious, especially with the little boy sleeping upstairs that so desperately needs both of his parents. What Tony's doing is so selfish and stupid. She can barely hear his words.

It was only a week ago that Pepper was mourning the loss of Tony - an enormous pain for the man she thought she loved. And despite his shortcomings since his return, she can't imagine a world without Tony Stark. Peter's already lost every other bit of his family. He shouldn't lose his father as well.

"I know it looks bad, but I can explain. It's a new version of the armor I created to escape the cave. With this, I'll be able to keep you safe. And Peter. I just need to keep Peter safe. You can understand that, right?"

Pepper doesn't know how to reply. She's so shocked by his actions, so unsure in the security he feels he's providing to the broken little family. "This is what you've been doing at night? Creating this superhero getup to save the world? Do you really think this was a good idea?"

The man hesitantly nods as he steps out of the armor and approaches her. It feels like a trap that he's purposely falling into, but at the same time, he's proud of the thing he's created. It's something tied to him, powered by the reactor of his own heart. This will keep his family safe.

"You can't be serious, Tony. Please tell me you're not serious."

"Peter needs to be protected. The one thing I've learned from my kidnapping is that no one can be trusted. Even with close friends around, you can never really know what will happen. I can't do that to Peter. I have to keep him safe."

Pepper is furious. The only thing Peter needs right now is a mother and father to support him and help him get through this impossibly hard time that Tony has created. All he needs is love and support. Not this stupid get up. Not this kind of attitude.

"He doesn't need a superhero, you moron. You were always his hero. What he needs right now is a father."


	7. Broken Eyes

Pepper can't stand are those stupid sunglasses.

They're always there, sitting on Tony's stupid smug face, as he blocks out the entirety of the world around him. He's been wearing them ever since he returned home from the war-torn country, using them as a barrier between his emotions and the world that surrounds him. They've become a security blanket to the broken man, hiding his bruised tired eyes from the cameras and paparazzi that constantly berate him and his family. They keep his emotions at bay, hidden away where not even Pepper can reach them. Probably so deep that even the man himself can't find them.

Something so small shouldn't matter to Pepper - they are only glasses, after all, a fashion accessory that many people wear - but for some foolish self-serving reason, the thin piece of plastic between them drives her insane. She blames the glasses for the wall between them. It causes her too much pain to blame the man who's actually putting up the wall. She doesn't have that sort of strength right now.

Probably because her issue isn't even with the glasses. And the problem is barely only Tony Stark. It's the state of the current relationship between them. The possibly perfect relationship she built in her head out of sadness and despair, then the contrasting destruction isn't even close. He isn't trying. He doesn't care. He doesn't love her the same way she loves him.

The sunglasses are only an object, but they're a symbol Pepper can hate without reexamining her love for Tony Stark. They're an object Tony is using to drive a wedge between them, instead of dealing with the emotions and the problems he is experiencing. It's much easier to hate a symbol on his face than the man himself.

That's what she really hates, because the man she loves with every fiber of her being refuses to be himself when she enters the room. He refuses to share his feelings or experiences. He hides the good, the bad, and the ugly. Tony refuses to show any ounce of weakness or humanity when he's not alone in his lab. Most of all, he refuses to listen to Pepper when she already knows what's right for Peter. He won't actually observe his child or make decisions that are best for the entire family. He only does what he thinks is right.

He's blocking out everyone, not just Pepper. The paparazzi can't see his rippled emotional state through the layer of shades on his face. Tony's best friend - general Rhodes - can't see the true state of Tony's post-traumatic stress through the cameras or video calls he hides behind. And his son barely gets a second of his father's attention with his mother now caring for him full time. No one really knows how bad Tony is doing behind closed doors, not when he hides it so well.

But Tony looks and feels _safe_. No harm can break his walls down, as long as he's hiding behind an expensive designer accessory.

Pepper disagrees. He doesn't need to spend his time alone couped up in his lab. He doesn't need to hide his pain from his family and friends. He doesn't need to act like he has all the answers when he should be reaching out and listening. He doesn't need to be a superhero built behind a tin can. He can be a better man.

She wants to be there for Tony. So does Rhodey and Happy, and even Peter. Tony came back damaged and broken - even beyond the shrapnel lodged in his heart and the way his arm was hanging in a sling barely usable. He needs the support of his family more than anything else. They're all prepared to help him and be there for him, physically and emotionally, but he refuses to let them.

Pepper never gets the chance before he berates her and threatens the relationship between mother and child. She wasn't prepared to be verbally beaten, to be emotionally thrown across the room in some form of petty male dominance. She wasn't prepared for Tony to rip apart the already fraying bits of their family in his scared childish angst. She wasn't prepared for a game of red-light green-light, where he's there for his son one day, and completely distant the next. She wasn't prepared to hurt in this way.

Tony thinks he's doing what's best for his son. She's sure of that fact.

It's just a shame there's a stupid piece of plastic jammed between him and his family, obscuring his already broken view of the world.

* * *

Peter struggles in his bed. His body aches, his mind restless as he tosses underneath the thick covers of his bed.

He's warm, quickly overheating under his blankets and the strong blast of the growing heat as the sun returns. He needs to throw off the covers and gasp cool air back into his lungs, let his body recoup from the horrible images rushing his dreams, but he can't seem to find the way out of his nightmares. He's stuck in his own panic.

Some part of him wishes that his mommy was here. But there's a different panging in his heart as he wishes for Pepper's touch - her face doesn't seem familiar. It doesn't match the yearning in his heart he's experiencing at that moment.

There's a different scent reaching for him. And although he knows this woman well too - it's the angel that visits him in his dreams every so often - he's too confused by the difference in his horror. He thrashes again to get away from the figure, to find his mom instead, but his fear only swirls around him instead. He shouts for her in a panic, but only air rushes from his lungs.

Instead, he's thrown into another memory.

 _"Tony Stark doesn't love anyone."_

 _"Guess you're just stupid like your mom."_

That doesn't feel true. Peter isn't stupid. He's a smart boy. At least, he used to be smart. His mom would complement his good grades all the time before his dad left them. Peter was never a genius like his father, but that didn't mean Peter wasn't smart too. His dad is the smartest man he's ever met in the entire world. No one could ever compare to the great Tony Stark.

But then... why can't Peter do anything right? Why can't he get good grades like he used to, instead of bringing home failed marks that make his mom frown and his dad hide away in his lab? Why can't he be a good boy and make his father proud of him?

 _"I have to ask, Peter. Is something happening at home? You're father's been back for two weeks now."_

 _It goes without saying. Everyone expected his grades to improve with his life going back to normal. With everything in his life coming to some kind of normalcy, there really isn't an excuse for him messing up so many answers anymore. He's in second grade, for heck's sake. He should be doing better. The teachers are being really nice about it, but even Peter is beginning to grow frustrated with himself._

 _He shakes his head in shame. There really is no excuse._

 _"I need you to talk to me, Peter. Try to use your big boy words."_

 _He keeps his eyes glued to the floor as he speaks, tears stinging the corner of his eyes... "N... n... no. Everything's fine. I'm sorry. I'll do better. I p... p... promise."_

 _"It's okay, Peter. I know you're doing your best. Okay? It's okay. Just let me know if there's anything I can help you with."_

She's right. Peter isn't trying hard enough. He's spending too much time with his mom in the evenings, playing with distracting toys instead of studying and practicing his equations. They don't work as hard as they did before Tony's disappearance. He's been too distracted to be the smart boy everyone expects him to be.

Peter's becoming lazy without the strict guidelines of his Auntie Tasha. There's no passion left for his education. No passion to spend time with his friends, or the mommy that he's missed so much, or even his bright new Lego set sitting in the living room waiting to be opened and played with. Lego doesn't interest him at all anymore.

There's not much passion left for anything right now.

* * *

The alarm beeps way too early for a school day.

Peter doesn't even want to go. Some small part of his soul screams to stay home after a seemingly never-ending torrent of nightmares and restless sleep. He doesn't feel rested at all. Although he has been having issues sleeping since his father's absence, the last few days had been especially rough and cruel. He can barely keep his eyes open.

The little boy fights against his mother every step of the way. He isn't sure what's wrong, or why all the emotions swirling inside of his body are leaving him so grumpy today, yet he can't stop himself from overreacting to every little detail. He's not prepared to deal with all his sadness, and he hasn't learned to push them down in the same way his father, so all he can do is lash out at his mom as she tries to get him dressed and prepare him something to eat for breakfast.

And Pepper doesn't mind. She really doesn't. She loves Peter with every bit of her heart and soul. She knows there would be days like this when she volunteered to care for the boy. Children aren't well behaved all the time. It isn't even much more difficult than when she was caring for Tony in his overly rowdy years, but she's more emotionally invested in taking care of her son. She's responsible for Peter's well being and doing everything in her power to make sure this young boy turns into a man worth loving.

It hurts her when he thrashes against her in the morning before school when he screams at the top of his lungs and cries. She tries to repeat that "It's a school day. You have to go." when he argues and refuses to put on his shirt. She tries to remind him about the good things, including his best friend that will miss him if he stays home, but he's relentless today.

He screams in response, a twisted scream that sends a chill down her spine. It's so loud that she's sure even Tony hears the scream from floors below in his soundproof lab, but she knows that he would never come to help Pepper anyway when Peter's melting down. She's on her own.

"I need you to use your words. You need to calm down," she says in a stern voice.

He eventually gives in and stops screaming. They've already gone through eight outfits and are going to be at least fifteen minutes late, but at least there's been some progress made. She gives him a cereal bar for the road, but she's sure he barely even eats two bites. He still seems too upset.

"I h... h... hate school. I d... d... don't want t... to go," the boy says as he tries to pull away from his mother once more. She's trying to buckle him into his booster seat - definitely something he's smart enough to undo himself. She needs to make sure it's properly strapped in to keep him safe.

She asks calmly, as they drive, why he doesn't want to go to school anymore. He used to love school. Even when his father was far away in a war-torn country, school was the one constant in Peter's life. She asks about everything from bullies, to the lunches Pepper's been packing for him, but he refuses to say anything besides shaking his head. When he gets close to tears again, Pepper lets the topic slide and bribes him by offering some after school ice cream if he goes today. He doesn't reply, just looks at the floor silently as his way of giving in to his mother's wishes.

Pepper makes a note to talk to Peter's teacher later on, but she has so much on her list, so she knows she will probably forget by the time the day is done. It's probably just some sort of sensory issue, something that can be fixed with a clear discussion on the matter, but she needs to be sure anyways. She needs to make sure nothing serious is going on.

There's something about a mother's intuition that she needs to learn to trust.

* * *

"I don't understand. He's been getting bad grades like these all semester?"

Pepper wants to huff and cause a scene. She's pushing down every bit of anger and seething rage inside for her son's sake. Getting mad at Tony won't help the situation one bit. But she really doesn't appreciate the tone he's taking with the teacher or the things he's been implying for the last half hour.

"They were okay at the beginning of the year, at the last parent-teacher conference. But they really started to drop about halfway through... Well, you know. We just all assumed he was missing you and that his grades would perk back up with his father in his life. He had a lot going on at the time. We all did. Our top priority was the boy's mental health."

"And they haven't improved at all?"

Pepper shakes her head. It's been a whole month since Tony's return. She's done her best to settle her son into some sort of normalcy and routine again, but it hasn't made any difference. He still has the same glimmer of stress in his eyes whenever she looks at him, the same panic every morning before school, and the same restless sleeping. He's more stressed than a child should ever be.

The only thing she can think of at this point is Natasha. Her son's gotten his father back, but he's lost another very important family member in the process. Someone who watched him nearly every hour of every day since she was hired. Someone he relied on while Pepper was too busy to be there for him. And Pepper just let Tony discard her like the relationship was nothing.

She's debating whether or not it's worth bringing up, to try to convince Tony how much the little boy needs his nanny and Auntie Tasha. But honestly, she's still pretty hurt from the last argument they shared. She's afraid and her heart hurts when she replays the words in her at night. There's still a wall put up between the two adults, a painful barrier only multiplied by the sunglasses on his face, and she can't find the strength to push the wall again. She knows none of this is worth approaching right now. They wouldn't be able to do it in a calm matter.

"Have you been helping him after school?"

She's taken aback by Tony's statement. It almost seems like he's finding a way to blame Pepper for the boy's grades, like she isn't already doing enough raising him, saving his company in his absence, and doing everything else he's ever asked of her. It sends a small stabbing pain through her chest, but she grits her teeth and answers instead.

"Every night. He understands all the material. He gets perfect scores on his homework and learns very quickly, but every time he has a test he just seems to flunk out. I'm not sure what to do anymore. It seems the teacher doesn't know either. She sent a note home with his schoolwork today to get in touch with her.."

"I don't really have time for this, Pepper. What exactly do you want me to do about it?"

"The teacher has requested a parent-teacher conference to discuss his grades. I was going to take care of it, but I actually can't do this alone since I'm not his legal guardian, Tony. You are."

* * *

They go to the parent-teacher conference together.

Pepper doesn't really want him there, but it isn't like she has a choice. She may see Peter as her own son, the little boy she held in her arms since the day she met him, but that isn't true. There's a stark reminder living in her home that reminds her that the boy will never be her son. And she has to put up with it if she wants to continue seeing her boy.

Because in the end, her boy is a Stark. And there's something messed up about being a Stark, a long line of broken men that can't seem to bond to anyone worth loving. There's a glowing hatred from the family that only hurts the people around them. She knows Howard Stark wasn't a great man, but she can't help but think that Tony isn't doing much better either. They are both messing up their sons, but just in different ways and for different reasons.

That won't be Peter, though. Pepper refuses to let Peter become like either of the monsters before him. He's soft and kind and caring, probably every bit of that side coming from his birth mother. Pepper never got a chance to meet Peter's biological mother - never will due to the circumstances - but she can feel in her heart that she was a good person, likely a victim of the circumstances surrounding her. Raising a son without a father because of a one night stand with a man that would never of care for his offspring. Not until Pepper intervened.

It doesn't matter. Pepper won't let anything happen to her son. She'll bide her tongue and listen to Tony's demands. She'll always put Peter first. She'd never put herself in a situation where she could be ripped away from her boy. Because all Peter needs a mother who loves him more than anything in the world. And she's the only mother he has left.

She keeps this love at the forefront of her mind, using it to block the anger raging next to her.

"I just don't think he's trying hard enough. Maybe his heart isn't into it, maybe it's something worse. I don't know."

The teacher seems a bit afraid, but mostly sympathetic towards the two parents. They all truly thought Peter would get better now - that his grades would slowly start to rise without the worry of his father being lost forever. But there hasn't been much improvement at all - just a steady rate of disappointments and mistakes.

"Our nanny is no longer working with us," Pepper says with a dreary heart. "You don't think that could be contributing, do you?"

She already knows the answer. Of course, it's contributing to the boy's heartbreak. Pepper is the one holding him as he cries himself to sleep each night - the one wondering if he will ever get better. The disappearance of his dad was horrible, but at least it was a slow realization, and mostly hidden from him, but the loss of his nanny was sudden and dramatic and so much more painful. But Pepper asks in a way that she's unsure, trying to provoke Tony the least amount possible.

"Of course not, Pepper. I lost plenty of nanny's as a kid and I turned out just fine."

 _Can you only imagine if you lost Jarvis at that age though? You lost him as an adult and never completely got over it..._

The teacher can't read Pepper's thoughts though, and she's intimidated by the celebrity that practically signs her paycheck, so she accepts his answer at face value.

"He did go through a lot in so little time. And we don't really have a textbook when it comes to dealing with stuff like this. Maybe he just needs more time? There's a lot that could be going on right now, but maybe in the meantime, we could find Peter a tutor that could help him review the information he's not retaining."

Tony nods agreeing. Pepper isn't sure more work is the solution.

"Maybe he just needs some time off? He has been through a lot. I'm not sure if pushing him into more work so quickly will help in balancing out his life."

"Peter doesn't need to take it easy. He's smart enough to learn all this stuff. He is my boy, after all."

"I'm not saying Peter isn't smart. I know he's insanely smart, practically a genius. But as someone who's that smart, who's carried that burden all your life, do you really think that's what he needs right now? He's just a child, Tony. Maybe he just needs to take a few weeks off and feel like his family is whole again."

"It's been weeks since I returned. What more could he want? There's no excuse for him slacking off, Pepper. I don't know what happened while I left, but something clearly needs to change."

* * *

Something does change.

Pepper isn't sure what sparks the change in Tony. It's definitely some sort of stubbornness on his part. Maybe it was the suggestion of the tutor by Peter's teacher, or the implication that the boy could be moved to easier classes, or maybe even he's mad at Pepper for not doing a good enough job with Peter's after school homework.

Pepper's taken aback when she enters the dining room with Peter's after school snack and finds Tony sitting at the table with her son. He still wears the sunglasses on his face, but he's somewhat paying attention to the boy as he works on his math equations. Peter's writing something down and acting like this is completely normal, a giant smile spread across his face as he tells his father about his day. He seems much more upbeat than usual, even if his father is only half paying attention as he scrolls through a Starkpad.

It turns out he's only doing it to keep an eye on Pepper. He's only here to make sure she's properly teaching him the material, implying that the mom isn't as smart as the Stark men. 'He could just get off his lazy ass and do it himself,' she thinks to herself as she settles at the table with her son.

But at least this is something. At least this is progress.

* * *

He still keeps those stupid sunglasses on most of the time.

The mom stays civil, continuing to bite her tongue as Tony keeps an eye over the two every night at homework time. That's all she really can do without risking her relationship. He can watch with a raised eyebrow as the mom works the boy through his second-grade math equations and practices spelling with him. She doesn't care.

It proves nothing because the boy answers every single one of the questions correctly. He gets the concepts, applies the patterns in the grammar even when he doesn't know how to spell the word, and even surprises Tony with the speed his brain works. He's above-average intelligence, maybe even on a path to one day be as smart as his father. The problem isn't Peter's intelligence.

And the problem doesn't seem to be Pepper - she knows she was never the problem, but also knows there's no way the man would ever admit that he's wrong. He watches her with a keen eye each night, but this is rudimentary stuff at best. She's a smart woman. She isn't getting the concepts wrong. In fact, she's teaching him with the same level of patience and love that he's always admired in her. She's as good a caregiver as she was an assistant.

"I think we should take a day off? Maybe all head to the beach. It's been a long time since we've spent a day at the beach as a family."

The words take Pepper by surprise. They seem to come out of nowhere only spoken when there isn't a single reason left for Peter's disappointing grades besides performance anxiety or deeply rooted trauma. One of these being the idea Pepper was pushing at the parent-teacher meeting. The near loss of his father and the loss of his Auntie Tasha.

So maybe, this is Tony's way of apologizing and admitting defeat. He won't say he was wrong, and he definitely won't say that Pepper was right, but he will allow his family the chance to improve the difficult scenario they've been thrown into. He will listen to Pepper, but will continue to act like the ideas were all his own.

She doesn't argue. This is what she wanted for Peter anyway. This is what's best for her son.

She packs up all the things the family will need for their day at the beach. And even if her heart is aching and confused, she does her best to push it deep down where no one will ever see it. She will make sure this day is the perfect relaxation that Peter needs. He's ecstatic about driving to the beach and experiencing a fun day with his mommy and daddy.

He picks out his favorite pair of swim trunks with his mother's help. The red ones that match his father's newly famous superhero armor. They're the only ones that fit anyway since they rarely swim anymore, but this color has quickly become his favorite all-time color and there's no changing his mind. (Despite all of Pepper's efforts to discourage the hero idolization. She doesn't need 2 superheroes in this family.)

He also packs an assortment of toys with his mom's help. Some are toys made for the pool like his sinkies and a giant floatie that he can relax on. Some are not made for the pool, including his plush dog Cuddles that will surely come home covered in sand and dirty beach water. She doesn't mind. She's just excited to see him so happy.

The drive to the beach is about an hour's time. The front end of the car seems painfully quiet, but at least Peter fills in the silence with his endless chatter. It feels nice to Pepper. It feels right and normal like everything could be okay again if Tony managed to get his shit together. They could be a proper family.

"Can we turn on my songs?" Peter eventually asks from the back seat. He's getting a bit antsy, his mind running out of things to talk about as his attention issues begin to set in. Even his mom has noticed him fidgeting more than normal over the last five minutes.

"Your songs?"

"He likes the Kidz Bop CD's," she informs Tony. "I usually put them on during long road trips and we sing along together. Helps keep him occupied during the long rides."

Tony just shakes his head. He's not listening to some badly recorded children's copies of already over-played pop songs. He can't think of any worse way to spend the road trip than his ears bleeding from that garble. "Not today, bud. We're almost there. Just find a way to entertain yourself for a while."

"Oh. Okay. S... s... sorry, dad. I'll b... be q... quiet."

At least they're already close to the beach. It's only ten minutes of Pepper staring out the window uncomfortably and biding her tongue. She reaches her arm back the seat to stroke Peter's knee in support and love but doesn't say a single thing until they're unpacking the car.

"Don't run ahead, Peter. I don't want you going into the water alone. Stay with us."

He nods and helps to carry a few things out to the beach, though the pair leave most of the hard work to Tony. It's the least he can do after the stunt in the car.

When Peter can't stand still any longer, Pepper pulls the sunscreen out of the beach bag and makes sure that he's generously coated. He giggles as she puts an extra line of the gunk across his nose. The boy barely takes another second as he throws his shirt into the sand and runs towards the water with his mom trailing behind him.

It's the best he's felt in months. Jumping straight into a large wave as the water splashes around his ankles and sand squishes through his toes. He feels like he's in control of his life. No longer a child that just can't seem to do good enough at school. He can't even remember why he's been so sad.

There's something better here. A freedom that he so desperately needs.

* * *

Tony watches the two play as he lazes on a beach chair.

Every part of his body is screaming to get some work done. He should be in his lab getting the improvements tested for the next version of the ironman suit, or testing the new source of energy for Stark Industries, so he struggles inside being so far away from his work. His body doesn't know how to take it easy.

Even beyond that, being so far away from his lab reminds him how reliant the man is about his safety space, and he doesn't like feeling vulnerable. He should be better than this. Strong enough to go spend an easy day with his family, but he's scared to let his guard down. His lab is the only place he feels safe.

He forces himself to stay calm as he watches the two run through the sand. They've already been here for hours. They should really be exhausted, but the boy is still running around and splashing his mother like this is the best day of his life. It does bring a small smirk to the corner of the father's face as he watches them. That boy could really get away with anything around Pepper, maybe even murder.

He watches Pepper as she chases after his child. It still ponders his mind how they got this far. The woman and boy aren't related in any way, but she just cares so much about him. She's dedicated every minute of her day to caring for this child so that Tony wouldn't lose him to a foster system, and he has to appreciate her dedication. This boy is the future of Stark Industries and it would have been a shame to lose him. It's too bad that he couldn't see the potential in the boy at the time.

His appreciation for Pepper is beyond any words he could muster. Not only is she gorgeous as she runs around in her slim-fitting ref swimsuit - sending waves of arousal through the man that he can barely hide - but she's just so emotionally beautiful in every way. She's the perfect woman.

Tony can't help but wonder if she would make as good a mother as she does a caretaker. What if this child had actually been born from both of them, a possible showing of the love between them and not just a mistake from a one night stand? What if she had actually been the true mother to his child?

It's a shame that it will never be true. He's too fucked up now, and although he loves Pepper more than anyone in his life, he's too emotionally damaged to be in a relationship. He damages everything he touches, all he can do is push her and Peter away in an effort to keep them safe. She will never mother one of his children.

But one day won't hurt. Tony can spend the way watching his pretend family with a smile on his face, especially if this is what Peter needs to improve and get back on track for being his future CEO. Tony can take a few hours to help his family out and put them back on track. He can be the hero.

The man even sets up the picnic, spreading out a blanket and the snacks Pepper has prepared. It's woman's work, but it at least gives him something to do.

* * *

"Do you think you could do me a favor and help Peter with his homework tonight?"

Tony sighs in annoyance. There really can't be that much to do that she's overwhelmed. She's paid to care for his child, after all. He does way more than cleaning and cooking and caring for a boy on the daily, and he doesn't get the chance to dump his duties on anyone else. This isn't fair.

"Please, Tony. I'm not feeling well. I just want to take a hot bath until the medicine kicks in and then I'll get him ready for bed. I promise."

Tony huffs, but he was going to spend the time watching Pepper teach him anyway, so he can't really act like he has something better to be doing. And it is easy enough material that it shouldn't take that long. He can still be annoyed at Pepper's woman troubles for getting in the way though.

He sits at the table as Peter takes out his homework and starts filling out the paperwork. This is something he never really noticed, but the boy doesn't ask many questions. He already seems to know the answers as he fills in the paperwork with his cute little handwriting. He barely looks up as he eats his snack and moves onto the next worksheet.

"Do you need any help buddy?"

He shakes his head. "I'm good."

It does seem odd. He thinks back to all the times he watched Pepper work with him, but at the most, he remembers Pepper encouraging him and asking him questions to keep him engaged. He can't actually think back to a time where she actually had to teach the boy anything he didn't understand. Does he even really need someone to sit with him and help?

"Are the questions usually this easy? You're flying through them."

"I just really love math."

"Me too, bud. It's the best."

Something doesn't sit right in Tony's gut. Why is his boy getting such bad grades if he's doing the homework with so much ease? The man thinks hard for a moment, but the only conclusion he can come to is that maybe the teacher hates the Stark family. It wouldn't surprise him. There's a lot of hate and bias towards them in the media.

The father waits until Peter is finished his homework - it doesn't take long at all - and asks the boy to go grab some of the tests from his bedroom. He wants to proofread the tests, already sure that the teacher is being overly stubborn or picking on his poor boy somehow. He's close to marching down to the office himself and giving them a piece of his mind.

The boy runs back in the room with his stuffed animal roller skating behind him and tosses the papers on the table for his dad. Tony furrows his brow as he picks up the pieces of thin-lined paper. These don't seem like tests, but it's possible the boy just brought him the wrong paperwork by mistake.

"No. Not your notes, bud. I need to see your tests."

Peter only stares at his father with confusion on his face. "These are my tests."

No. That can't seem right. This isn't a proper test. "These are only the answers. Where are the questions? Were they on a separate piece of paper?"

Peter laughs as he reaches upon his father's lap to look at the papers and points to the answers. "No. The teacher writes the questions on the board. We write the question number here. And then we write the answer to the question next to it here."

Something clicks in the father's mind at that point.

 _Peter's seat is at the back of the classroom._

 _He can see his paper, but not the answers on the blackboard._

Tony throws himself from the chair, barely noticing the way the papers shower the floor as he rushes towards Pepper's private bedroom. He's almost forgotten that she's in the bathroom, too lost in his discovery to think that maybe this can wait. He rushes into the room, barely stopping until he's right outside the bathroom door, nearly barreling through the thick piece of wood in his haste.

He bangs on the door frantically before rushing in anyways.

"Yes!?" Pepper demands as she pulls bubbles up to her breasts and covers herself. She has quite an annoyed look on her face. "Is Peter okay? Did something happen?!"

Peter runs behind his dad and laughs as he sees the large tub full of bubbles. He's seen his mother in the tub so many timers before that he doesn't even care. The mom's less concerned with the boy and more concerned by Tony's intrusion. He definitely should not be in here if there isn't an emergency.

"I'm fine mommy," the boy says as he grabs a handful of bubbles and blows them into the air laughing.

"I figured it out," Tony says breathlessly.

"What did you figure out?" Pepper's practically growling. This was not a good time.

"Glasses."

She narrows her eyes at Tony. Hatred burns in her expression and she doesn't reply a single word as Tony stares at her like the answer is the most obvious thing in the world.

"Peter," he repeats. "Peter needs glasses."


	8. The Mission

**Step 1: Instructions**

It's about a month since Natasha _supposedly_ moves on from her nanny position.

She knows she's only moved on physically. Her body is no longer working there - no longer with the family that made her feel so at home. In spirit, she knows she hasn't moved on one bit. How could she so easily move on from a place that made her feel so safe and happy? She doesn't think she can move on anymore.

It shouldn't be this big a deal. She's been taught better than to dwell on things like this - _forget all things unrelated to the mission, they only become distractions in the long run_. Words echoed from her days spent training in the Red Room, one of the most ferocious assassin training camps in all of Russia. Probably one of the toughest most heart-wrenching places in the entirety of the world. She's a world-class spy and cold-blooded killer. Emotion is a weakness.

She wasn't always like this. Natasha can remember times when she'd reach out and help the other girls stuck in her position. She'd felt a responsibility for the orphaned teens pushed through the same rigorous training she somehow excelled at. It didn't do much good in the long run. She would have taken the beatings endlessly - that was never an issue - but she quickly realized showing softness to the new spies only made it harder for them to adjust. So she let her heart harden over despite how much it hurt her. And taught the others that a heart of stone was the best way to survive.

Assassins don't get to love. It makes them weak. And they hurt people. They don't deserve to feel loved. Not with the amount of pain and baggage they bring.

Peter was different. He'd wiggled holes in Natasha's rock hard interior. And once she loved Peter, she found it much easier to love Pepper as well. She was learning to do better, a possible way of life that doesn't cause heartbreak and misery. A new way of life with Pepper and Peter Stark.

She was still a scared beaten little girl on the inside, but maybe there was still hope for her. Maybe someone could love her, too.

Not that she needs a relationship. She only wants a family right now. Natasha has lost any hope of ever having a man around. She hates them. All the men in her life have been toxic or abusive, and there's no way she would ever find herself letting one walk all over her. She's stronger than that.

And the Stark man of the house is no exception. He's an ass. An arrogant prick that Natasha can't stand tiptoeing around. She doesn't know _how_ Pepper does it, though she can completely understand the _why_. That woman loves Peter more than anything else in the world, the same way Natasha has found herself loving him. The spy would do anything in her world to protect the two people she loves most. She would have spent the rest of her days protecting and loving them.

Tony Stark is the villain. He thinks he's the hero - the spy is sure of that fact - but she sees the dictator as the person he truly is. He came home and ruined their perfect little fantasy. He ruined everything as most men often do. He tore her family away from her. He fought to keep control and won. He won the two people that matter most to her.

Natasha doesn't hold any resentment towards Pepper. She can't. Not when the two people she cherishes most are held up in that skyscraper of a prison. They didn't get a choice in Tony's cruelty - no more of a choice than Natasha got in murder boot camp. Pepper didn't stand up to Tony, but neither did Natasha. Neither of them can stand up to him without putting little Peter at risk. They both love that boy too much, there's no way they would ever risk his safety or happiness.

All the spy can do is move on. She needs to get past this. Do what her programming commands of her. She can continue the mission. Her mission. The only thing she's good at.

Natasha receives the files from SHIELD early that morning as she's reheating some frozen waffles. They aren't the best meal for a spy on the go, but she doesn't have a stove in the tiny apartment. And honestly, even if she did, she wouldn't want to spend any longer in these walls than she has to. She knows the molding patches on the walls can't be good for her health, and her thoughts break into sorrow whenever she has any time to sit alone and think about her life, so she spends the least amount of time in the dingy apartment as possible.

She can hear her phone going off from her small fold-out table as she rubs her eyes groggily, yawning as she prepares for the long day ahead of her. It could only be SHIELD. They're the only ones with access to the tiny flip phone, as her other phone is for her pretend Natalie Rushman number. The number only Pepper Potts and Stark Industries has access to. She doesn't have many friends...

Natasha spends a few moments pulling on her outfit for the day as she chews down the pastry dry. She's already spent an hour doing her morning training and is exhausted from issues of sleeping and overthinking during the previous night, but her job waits for no one. She doesn't get sick days off and the idea of a mental health day is laughable. She can't stand the idea of her thoughts running free all day anyway. Work is the best way to get her mind off her loss. She already spends too much time trying not to think about Peter's laughter and smile.

 _Implant the USB at 4:30 PM sharp. All the Starks will be in meetings, giving you the chance to sneak in and collect the data. Do not be caught. We cannot afford to protect you._

The text is from an unknown number that is clearly just a cover-up for SHIELD. Natasha's read the text and accepted her mission. There isn't much else to do now but wait. With the pound button pressed four times and the messages erased, she grabs her bag to leave.

The cell phone is left on the counter. She won't need it for today. If the mission goes well, she won't need that particular phone ever again. She won't be returning to the crappy apartment that she hates so much. She'll be moving onto her next mission. Far away from the Starks that plague her heart and soul.

Natasha's not a mother - she'll never be a mother. The Red Room stripped that from her alongside every bit of love and nurturing. She lost every bit of what made her.

And she's not a nanny either. Not anymore. Tony Stark stripped that from her. He ripped away the only hope she ever had.

But she's an assassin and a spy. She'll never lose that aspect of herself. All she has left is the work she was trained to do. She's not good for anything else, but at least she has a set of skills ingrained in her that most people could never dream on. The only thing she can do now is focus on her mission.

 **Step 2: Implant Virus**

Natasha's new job at Stark Industries is simple. She's a security supervisor in training, working under the admired head of security Happy Hogan.

Natasha thinks he's a self-righteous asshole. They met years ago, only a short time before she became a nanny for the Stark household, and he's left a completely broken first impression on the assassin since. She can remember the day like it just happened - the thing that marked him as a threat in her mind.

He'd asked if she'd ever boxed before. A simple question really. They were in a boxing ring and his boss had just stepped out of the ring to sign some paperwork. It was a chance for him to impress Tony from across the room as the couple worked on some meaningless task. Probably a bit too eager to strut his alpha dominance after being knocked around all day.

She'd been excited to show him her skills - downplayed a bit, of course, she couldn't show him any of her true abilities but a playful match wouldn't hurt. A smile had grown on her face as someone gave her the chance to prove herself. She'd replied that she had boxed before, and that's when all of her respect for the man went out the window. He'd downplayed her contribution in the same way most men do. He'd made assumptions about her before even knowing who she was or what she could do.

 _Tae bo? Booty Boot Camp? Crunch?_

What utter fucking bullshit. He couldn't even listen and let her explain herself.

And when she'd turned to address Mr. Stark's comment, the man had taken a swing at her. She'd been looking away, without even being presented boxing gloves or an actual proper lesson, and he'd swung right at her face. It was inconsiderate and rude and presumptuous and all the things she hates in men. They have no good in them. Just hot balls of anger.

(She'd showed him by slamming him to the floor, but that's beside the point. Not all women would have that ability if pushed into the same scenario she was. It was a dick move.)

And now the spy works underneath him in the professional hierarchy. An underling to a roaring lion that she hates.

But that's what she needed. That's what SHIELD had told her to do. She doesn't have any choice when it comes to her life. It's all laid out for her.

She nods her head in respect as Mr. Hogan tells her painfully obvious things, and teaches her additional self-defense techniques that she already knows but fakes otherwise because she needs to be in this position for her plans to work. And Pepper had been nice enough to get her the job with zero questionings. "Any guaranteed job at Stark Industries," just like she had promised.

Natasha hated feeding her the lies - that she wants to keep everyone here safe and be a part of the security team - but what else could she do? She doesn't have a choice in her lies. They slide through her teeth like butter, perfectly toned as if they were the truth. It used to be so easy. She used to lie without any regret. But it doesn't sit right with her now. She doesn't like lying to her only friend and the only person she felt she could ever rely on. Pepper deserves so much better.

Natasha doesn't speak good of her boss when he's not following her around. She scoffs behind his back when he isn't looking, and mocks him angrily as soon as she reached the depths of her crappy apartment. She doesn't breathe a word of this over the phone to Pepper - she knows the man is still very important in Pepper and Peter's life - but she still can't help but feel a deep-seated hatred towards him. The man's password is 'password' for fuck's sake. You can't be any dumber than that. Some great head of security.

The spy does as she's told, though. She gets ready to suck up to him, straightening her blouse and adjusting her breasts as the elevator reaches her floor. It's barely enough time for her numb herself for the day's tasks ahead. This was much easier when she had a long descent to the top floors of Stark Tower. And so much easier when she actually found herself enjoying her job and excited for a long day of work ahead of her. She yearns for those days. She yearns for Peter and Pepper.

The spy shakes her head as she exits the elevator. This isn't like her. And she has a job to do. She needs to focus if she wants to get the job done.

Mr. Hogan is already waiting for her as she rounds the corner. He's hovering around her desk, not really giving her a chance to settle in or plan her day. He always has something for her to do. Some way for him to boss her around and act like he knows everything. Yet all she can do is flash him a fake smile and walk with confidence towards her space.

"Morning boss. How was your evening?"

"You know, Natasha. Same old, same old. Chasing the kid all night. Tony can't be bothered and Pepper hasn't been feeling too well lately."

This tells Natasha a few things. Pieces of information torn from the simple sentences, her brain archiving it for later in case it's needed for manipulation or her grander mission. The same long term memory only practiced for the purpose of taking advantage of others. One of the many things she's so tired of doing but doesn't know how to shut off because it's so ingrained into who she is.

1\. Tony is still a piece of shit. No surprise there.

2\. Peter is still a handful and as spastic as normal. Maybe he's healing a bit after the separation? It has been a whole month since she was let go. She hopes he's doing okay.

3\. Pepper isn't feeling well. More than the usual emotional turmoil that the spy witnessed in all the time nannying for the family. Pepper was always strong and driven. She could push herself through that type of pain, so this must be something physical. It must be something really painful if she's leaving the care of Peter to someone else. Even if only for a small time.

Natasha hopes it isn't too serious. And she really hopes that it is actually a sickness, and not physical pain from anything Tony could cause. Her blood boils at the thought that this pain could be something brought on by Peter's father. A black eye maybe? A broken bone? Natasha can't be sure, but she knows one thing. If she even catches him moving a hand towards Pepper, she'll beat the shit out of him.

4\. Happy is still stupid. He gives out private Stark family information to an employee that really has no business knowing it. Something that Tony would actually be very against if he knew.

She nods professionally, tucking information into her brain as he speaks but not actually paying him any attention. Her mind is elsewhere right now. A few dozen floors upwards.

Security check in the morning. Testing of new possible protocols in the afternoon. Then her boss has a meeting at 3:30 PM that will last a few hours. She'll be alone to get some reports done, but she knows the meeting is only a well-orchestrated distraction meant to distract her boss. A cover for her to sneak off and implant the virus that will exploit the weakness in JARVIS' system, allowing her to steal the weapon information they so desperately need. A mission that's been in the works for years now.

Natasha just needs to bide a few hour's time. Only one more day in this crappy place and she can move on to a new mission. It will be so much easier away from the people her heart craves.

A mission where she won't have to sleep in a crappy bachelor apartment and eat food from a microwave because the entire kitchen was removed to make room for her to practice her skills. She will be allowed to work in a building away from all of her horrible conflicting memories and feelings. She'll likely still be around asshole men - that part is always unavoidable - but she'll at least get to have some freedom to breathe without thinking about Peter every time she rides the elevator to work. She'll be able to move forward.

And hopefully, if she's really lucky, they'll never find out it was her that stole the information. Because she's not sure what she'd do if Pepper hated her. Life wouldn't be worth living.

 **Step 2.5: Peter Parker-Stark is a Sneaky Little Boy**

The day passes quickly enough. She acts like a good employee, laughing at all of her boss' corny jokes until he leaves for his meeting in the afternoon.

This is it. This is the moment that she's been preparing for over the last year. The time that she's been getting anxious over for the last week.

Natasha pulls the access card from her belt and inspects it neatly. This simple card already gives her access to most of the floors and locked rooms within the tower, but there are still a few rooms left that can only be accessed with Happy by her side. It had taken a few days to get into his computer, but it was easy enough to upgrade her credentials with "permission" from the big boss. She unlocks her key one night to give her access to the very room she needs to implant the virus. No one even seemed to notice. Sometimes things just work out so perfectly.

The spy stands and straightens her clothes, making sure they're neat before she leaves her small office space. She even grabs a clipboard and pen from the drawers on her desk. It'll seem like she just has a very important checklist to work through as she moves through the tower on her mission. No one ever questions people with the proper badge, especially not when they seem busy. And Natasha's become pretty known from their daily security walkthroughs. She expects no issues as she makes her way to the server room.

She has about thirty minutes before the USB needs to be inserted, giving her time to slowly move towards her destination. It's a balancing game to make sure she finds the right pace, doing her best to not create any suspicion when working in a place with so many working cogs and employees. Let alone an artificial intelligence that watches over everything. But she's an expert at what she does. She's done stuff like this so many times before that it comes to heart without any hesitation.

Natasha's ready for anything. Nothing will stop her at this point as she moves towards her destination. She's prepared with replies in case anyone inquires about her position. She's readied back up routes if she sees a blockage in her way. She's even practiced excuses in case she somehow manages to run into Tony or Happy in the hallway. There's nothing that could distract her from her mission at this point. She's ready to get this done and over with.

What she wasn't prepared for was the pounding of little footsteps from down the hall. A pitter-patter so familiar that she has no doubt who they're coming from.

The sound sends her mind off track for a moment. It's a sound she was used to hearing when she worked on the top floors of the tower. It's too easy for her to imagine her little boy tearing down the halls towards her. Sometimes she imagines she's hearing the sound of him running towards her, but this is different this time. She can definitely hear him rushing at her from around the corner. Her senses are too fine-tuned for it to be anything else. This is real.

It's something she hasn't heard in so long that it hurts. She doesn't have any time to think about it. She just does.

She turns around and reaches her arms out towards him. There's barely enough time for him to catch him, but she relaxes as the boy throws himself into her arms anyway. Peter wraps his arms around his nanny, squeezing more tightly than he ever has before, and she squeezes back as strong as she can without hurting him. It feels right. So right that it hurts her to think about. She's dwelled on this loss for so long. Having him back in her arms like this won't be good for her long term separation. She knows she shouldn't be holding him as tightly as she is right now, but here she has so many emotions rushing through her that she feels her heart might burst at any moment. It's a good thing it's been so ingrained into her not to cry.

It's like something has been broken all this time. She was hurting. She's sure of that. But beyond the pain, there was something missing - a piece of her heart that just couldn't be healed because it left a little gaping hole in her heart that all her happiness would leak from. She couldn't feel whole without this boy. Something was missing without him. But it's quickly fixed with Peter in her arms again. It's like she was never broken, to begin with, and she can barely remember the hurt the boy's father put her through.

Every bit of him is familiar. He's her home now. From the beating of his gentle heart to the smell of his green apple shampoo. There's something inside of her that pulls toward the boy, some ancient instinct she's been pushing down every day at the tower. Probably some motherly instinct they failed to beat or surgically remove from her.

"How did you find me, little spider?"

The boy only nuzzles further into her neck. He mumbles a shy "missed you" that she barely hears because it's mixed with the boy's excitement and tears. He's nearly shaking in her arms.

"I have to put you down now, little one. Are you ready?"

He nods into her shoulder as she gently places him back on his feet. Something falls in the process and the spy barely has a chance to catch the flimsy piece of plastic.

She studies the item that fell from the boy's face to find a nearly perfect pair of glasses. They're adjusted for a younger frame like the boy's and have a designer logo slapped on to the side. Probably a waste with how much Peter runs around and falls. It won't be long until he's breaking them. It sends a quick pang through her heart as she wonders how much she missed in the boy's life.

"What are these? I don't remember you ever wearing glasses," she says with a smirk. "Were you hiding these the entire time?"

"They're new. I need them to see!"

Peter giggles as he reaches for his glasses. She pulls them out of the way once more, only making him laugh as he jumps to reach them playfully. It brings joy to her heart to see his face calming. All she wants to do is make him laugh and see him happy. She would do anything to make him smile. There's a feeling inside that rewards her whenever she hears Peter giggle.

 _This must be what being a mother feels like..._

Natasha leans down towards Peter, resting on her knees as she leans forward and wipes the remaining tears from the boy's face with her thumb. She places a quick kiss on his forehead as she comforts the boy. She knows it will only hurt them both in the long run, but it's something she's been needing to do for so long now. She can't miss her chance again to properly say goodbye.

Then her watch beeps as it hits the hour. It all comes flooding back into the forefront of her mind. She's got a mission to do and somewhere to be right now. She can't be wasting time like this, no matter how much more important this feels right now. She needs to get Peter to safety and get back to work.

She tucks the boy's glasses onto his face more and grabs his hand.

"Come on, Peter. Let's go find your parents."

To say Tony isn't overjoyed to be interrupted during his meeting is an understatement.

Natasha knows the annoyance on his face is a complete lie. Pepper had talked about him enough she knows this man inside and out. A major part of his personality is his hatred for the business side of running a company brought on by his father. A hesitation to become anything like him. He thinks business meetings filled with useless facts are the worst. And at any possible time, he'd rather be building something in his workshop, but he's being forced here so that Natasha can break into that very same laboratory later.

He's not upset because Natasha is interrupting the meeting with news of his son. He's angry because it's the former nanny that's interrupting him. And because he'll have to parent for ten minutes.

But what else was Natasha supposed to do? She's not Peter's caregiver anymore. She's no longer his nanny or guardian. And she has other things she should be doing right now.

There was a chance that she could have searched for Pepper instead. It would have been the safer bet of the two parents. But it'd take some searching to find the mother, and then there's the chance that she'd want to have a conversation when Natasha desperately needs to get back to her mission. She can't afford another distraction. She already knew that Mr. Stark was here with her boss, and this route was already on the way to the server room. It was the least wasted time.

"I found him wandering the halls. He apparently snuck out when he heard I was close. He was all alone, Tony."

"Maybe if you didn't work here, it wouldn't be a problem. You're lucky Pepper talks so highly of you."

The man grunts as he watches with his arms crossed, probably waiting for some sort of apology that he's not getting. That's fine because Natasha is waiting for some sort of thank you, but she knows she won't get it either. She's not playing into his stupid games. At least not with Peter balancing on her hip right now.

(You'd think most people would be thankful when their very important future CEO is saved from wandering a very dangerous tower by themselves. There are so many dangerous things in this tower. There's a large chance he could have been hurt. Or even worse. Natasha doesn't want to think about what could have happened.)

"Well. I have a job to get back to, so here you go. It was nice seeing you, Peter."

Natasha doesn't give him a chance to argue as she hands the boy back into the man's arms. If she hesitates, there are too many chances that someone will change their mind. Natasha might stay here. Peter might break down crying - something she never wants to see again. Tony might refuse to take him.

Tony doesn't want Natasha around Peter anyways. If he really doesn't want to take care of Peter right now, he can track down Pepper himself.

 **Step 3: Get in Place**

She's already off track. Her schedule has been delayed far beyond what she prefers, but she can get back on track if she focuses her efforts.

She moves with the utmost precision, rushing through the tower at the perfect speed to keep eyes off of her. She's slow enough to not cause any panic but fast enough so that she can get to the location just in time. The mission has been recalculated down to the very second. She should have a few seconds of buffer left by the time she arrives. She just has to keep working her way up the tower, the USB stick tucked neatly against her leg underneath her skirt.

The door is slammed open as she rushes into the stairwell and nearly throws herself down the stairs. The spy can only pray no one heard the way she manhandled the door as she rushes down the stairs. She takes them two steps at a time, which could be seen as a bit tricky with the height of the heals she's currently wearing, but she doesn't let it throw her off her game one bit. This option is the only way her mission can succeed. There was no guarantee the elevator would open in time. She just needs to be quick enough to get there in time.

Natasha makes her way down the hall just in time to tap her key card against the door. Her breath holds until the door beeps and displays a green light, allowing her inside the room.

 _Five..._

 _Four..._

 _Three..._

 _Two..._

Natasha plugs the USB into the main server slot as the countdown on her watch hits zero. It fits on the first try and she exhales a breath of relief. The virus has been planted. She's done the first part of her job today, even if it was insanely close with that little mishap upstairs. She's lucky that nothing else went wrong or she likely wouldn't have made it.

Her mission isn't complete though. With the virus now planted and ready to launch, a new countdown has started on her watch. She needs to get closer to Tony's laboratory so that when the virus launches in ten minutes' time, she'll be ready to break into the lab and download all the information. She's too many floors away right now.

 _Deep breaths, Natasha. You can still do this._

 **Step 4: Download the Files**

Natasha quickly makes her way back to the staircase.

The elevator should currently be down. And it's too easily traceable anyway. She can't take risks like that right now.

It takes her a good chunk of time to climb the large number of flights as she makes her way towards her goal. The laboratory is high up in the tower. She thinks back to Happy's stupid quote last week. "Higher is safer in levels of security. Much harder to break in to up here."

Tony likes to keep his private inventions locked away. And while there are a few layers of buffer between his laboratory and his personal suite, he stills try to keep it out of reach to most of the general employees. He wouldn't want any normal human beings near his precious toys.

This isn't the first time Natasha has explored the floor, though it's the first time she's done it with Tony in the build. That adds an additional level of risk. She'd strayed into this area on her way to work with Peter before, covered easily by the excuse of her searching for Peter. The laboratory has extra protection, so it's not like she could ever imagine breaking in normally. And Pepper was so distraught from her loss that she was none the wiser. There were never any issues or suspicion within the family. Not with the boy running all over the tower with the nanny chasing after him.

She gets to the floor quickly enough. It's just about time for the tower to shut down and she doesn't see anything out of the ordinary as she works her way towards the guarded room, keeping an eye out for any cameras or speakers nestled into the ceiling. She counts down the seconds in her head as she works down the empty corridor.

Everything stops at once. She can hear the chaos happening around her as the virus boots up. JARVIS shuts down with not a second of warning, and the tower goes into lockdown mode around her. She's been trained for this moment, was properly warned of the safety protocols programmed into the AI to keep Pepper and Peter safe. It's those protocols that allowed the hackers in SHIELD to find a small error in the code, a way for them to break in and temporarily access the lab that contains the one port able to broadcast the knowledge they need. They just need Natasha to insert the final virus.

The noises around her are deafening. She can hear the suite locking down up above, large metal slates blocking doorways and surrounding the family in thick safety walls. Lights and sirens are blasting from the current floor, warning anyone around that an attack is imminent, but also to snap Tony's attention - to let him know that his family is in danger up above. It would give the hero the time to get suited in his armor and fly upstairs to where he can keep his future little CEO safe.

The mode should only have been activated by Tony or Pepper's voice command. Maybe even Happy's voice. But SHIELD has found a way around it with this small chink added to the programming. They've purposely triggered the mode because it forcefully unlocks the man's lab. Theoretically to give his family a place to hide if they missed the lockout above, but Natasha can't really be sure. It seems like a dumb idea in her seasoned brain. It's a flaw in security that nobody seemed to notice.

And she also only has a few minutes before Tony will be rushing down to find his Ironman armor. Only a short time period for her to get in and out with the data she's been instructed to steal.

Natasha sticks her fingers into the thin side of the mechanical sliding door, using all her force to manually push it to the side. She has to fight against the motor. It isn't locked down like the walls around her, but it still takes some force to move. She'll need to use all of her strength to jam it open and get inside. She's nearly got it when something tips her off.

 _Listen... Something is wrong..._

Her spy sense stops her in her tracks. Something deep inside of her is telling her not to open the door. This is beyond all the training she's been forced through, some instinct is telling her to stop for a moment. There's something more important around her, possibly something that would cause her to get caught. She takes a moment to take in her surroundings once more.

Loud sirens. Flashing Lights. Footsteps far below. Slamming from above. Her heart pounding in her chest. Peter crying from not too far away.

Peter crying?

Oh no. Natasha is right. Her first instinct was right. It's always right. She can hear the boy choking on his tears from down the hall.

 **Step 4.5: Protect Peter**

This is it. This is what the spy has been waiting for all along. The moment she needs to get out of this shit hole that's become her life.

What does she do? What can she do? She could leave him there crying. Someone would find the boy eventually. It's not like he's actually in any danger. Natasha knows the lockdown is fake, created by her own shitty doing in an attempt to steal from the family that welcomed her. No one will actually be hurt him if she continues on the mission. Natasha is the only danger to the Starks right now. And she would never ever dream of hurting the boy she's cared for these past few months.

There are only seconds to make the decision. No time to really elaborate. And she knows she'll be done for if she gets home without the data.

But this isn't who she's become over the last few months. This isn't the woman she wants to be. Natasha has a chance to be someone better. To grow beyond her programming and be her own person.

Natasha chooses Peter. There's no other option. She would _always_ choose Peter.

The spy turns away from the door, thankful that she hadn't opened it yet. She was supposed to be long gone before anyone discovered the door was open. This way everyone will believe it was just a bug in the system's coding and not anything malicious. At least with her rushing to find Peter, there will be no evidence that she was breaking in and threatening the safety of the small family. No one will be able to pin this whole fiasco back on her.

The spy makes her way down the hallway swiftly and carefully, as if she's approaching an injured animal. She can't bear the thought of spooking the boy when she finally finds him. He's probably already so frightened. His chokes and sobs are enough to tell Natasha that he's terrified.

Little Peter is in the corner of the next hallway. His body tucked into the angle of the two walls, his hands over his ears forcefully and his eyes scrunched closed. Natasha feels for the attempt made to block out the overloading noises and flashes of the red alert lights. It's painful on her ears, too. She can only imagine how much this hurts a sensitive child like Peter.

She leans down as she gently places a hand on the boy's shoulder. His eyes snap open in fear, but there's a quick flash of relief as he recognizes his Auntie Tasha. He knows she's safety - that she would never let anything happen to him while she's around - and that makes everything a little bit better. There's a level of trust between them that led her here. She'd always put him first. And he clearly knows that from the way he reacts to seeing her here with him.

It pains her to see the way the boy's face. His features are twisted in pain. His face a brighter shade of red than she's ever seen before, with wet marks streaming as tears continue to roll down his cheeks. He's been suffering so much in these few moments. He's been in so much pain. And all of it is Natasha's fault.

Natasha slumps down the wall and pulls the child into her lap. He curls into her form and grips at her blouse, needing her comfort more than anything right now.

"What happened little spider? Where are your parents?"

He sniffles. The tears are slowing as he inhales the scent of her perfume, but he's still very overwhelmed. "Daddy sent me back upstairs."

She shakes her head. Of course, that would happen. She should have known he wouldn't have been bothered to actually parent his own child.

 _You can't blame the mission for this, Natasha. And you can't really blame Tony. You made those decisions. You brought the boy here._

But she's here now. She made the right choice. She put Peter's comfort and safety first. She puts it over any need she may ever experience. She gives him the top priority slot in her life. That's all she ever can do. And it's what she will do for the immediate future. Because this boy will be her top priority from now on. More than anything in the world.

The spy holds him close for the remainder of the lockdown. She's his Auntie Tasha for a good ten minutes - not the spy with ulterior motives. She's there for him when he needs her more than anything. She rocks him back and forth in her arms and sings him lullabies gently under her breath. She's not even sure that he can hear them over the sirens, but it brings them comfort just being so close. They feel each other's warmth in the cold corner of the hallway.

The lights and sirens stop after what she deems about fifteen minutes. She knows JARVIS will be back online any second now. Her mission has failed.

Pepper comes rushing in right around that time. Natasha watches as the mom lifts Peter into her arms and holds him close, murmuring worried sentiments into his hair. She must have been so scared to be locked upstairs in the suite's walls with her son trapped below. To have no clue of what the danger could be, unsure if she would ever see her son again.

Yet there's thankfulness in Pepper's eyes when she realizes that Peter wasn't alone. He had Natasha. He was surrounded by family the entire time.

 **Step 5: Try not to Cry**

She knows she's failed her mission. There's no greater shame than what she's brought upon herself.

This has never happened before. Not once in her entire career. There hasn't been a target that she's failed to kill. And she especially hasn't failed on missions that were as simple as stealing an item or data. This is far beyond anything she's ever experienced before. She's ashamed of herself. She doesn't know how to filter her failure and it feels much worse than anything she's ever experienced before.

But at the same time, she's proud of herself. She takes pride in the decision she's made. It was the right choice. She did the right thing. She protected Peter.

Her agency won't see it that way. And her boss won't see it that way. They'll be disappointed in her. Probably even outraged. That's probably why there's a layer of shame beneath all of her pride. She can't just be happy because she knows there will always be someone disappointed in her actions. Someone manipulating her every will.

Her shitty apartment is exactly how she left it. At least that's something to not look forward to. All of the mold and grime are waiting for her return. And the shitty flip phone rests on the small table where she left it. That just adds another layer to her failure. She really needed to be out of this shit hole, and now she'll be stuck here for an undetermined amount of time.

Natasha knows she needs to bide some time. She isn't ready to talk to anyone, but the phone will be ringing any moment now anyway. SHIELD just needs to be sure she's home first and away from anyone that could be listening in. They need a safe recording proof environment to ensure all communications are confidential.

While she waits for the conversation to start, she tosses her bag onto her bed and starts preparing a frozen dinner. She watches it spin in the microwave as it cooks, but she's interrupted about halfway through. She takes a deep breath and puts on her best fake confidence as she answers the phone.

"Hello, Natalie Rushman speaking."

"But the bullshit, Romanoff."

"Come on. The mission didn't go as expected, but there will be another chance. There were unexpected bugs in the protocol. We can still turn this around."

"Don't you fucking put this on us. We know you got distracted. We know this was all your fault."

There's a few seconds of too-long silence. They know what she did. They know she abandoned the mission to protect the boy.

"I did the right thing," she mutters into the phone.

"Right? Did you, huh? Do you really think you did the right thing? What about all the weapon files floating around the tower. They're a threat to the world, Romanoff. They could be used to hurt people."

"I couldn't risk blowing my cover. A connection to the Starks is more important than..."

"No! You listen to us! You were given a mission. You don't get to make those kinds of decisions. We gave you simple fucking instructions that shouldn't have been that hard to follow. You were selfish and self-centered and greedy. You let your personal feelings get in the way of the mission. You let a fucking child get in your head!"

"We should have never rescued her from that hell hole. I told you she wasn't worth it. She can't do anything right..."

Natasha bows her head as the call is dropped from their end. There's nothing else she could have said anyway. They're right. She did fail the mission.

Maybe she'll get more instructions tomorrow. Maybe she won't. She's not sure. Nothing like this has ever happened before.

The spinning of the microwave stops and beeps to alert her. She doesn't care. She doesn't really feel hungry anymore. All she can do is continue to lay in her bed with her blouse still on. She clutches her stomach painfully as she tries to push all of her emotions back down. She can feel her fingers digging into her stomach, a painful indication of the scars underneath her shirt. They remind her that she'll never have kids of her own. That she'll be broken and useless forever.

She fights it with all her might. She cannot let herself cry. Not anymore. Not tonight. Not when she finally did something right.

The tears fall anyway.


	9. Lost in the Chaos

Peter wants to say this is the best day of his life, but that would be a giant lie. The _best_ day of his life is when his father came home from Afghan. The young boy didn't understand at the time - could only sense that some part of his family was inexact - but now knows the full truth from his time spent online. His father's life was in danger.

His father - the great Tony Stark - was already a hero in the youngster's eyes, but he ascended that day. Tony Stark became a superhero who fought against terrorists and won! He escaped his imprisonment by creating Ironman - the coolest piece of technology to ever exist - by using his genius level of intellect. The same brain he always praises Peter for also having.

He even brought Peter's broken little family back together, at least before the decision to let go of his nanny, also known as his Auntie Tasha.

Peter misses still finds himself missing his Auntie Tasha from time to time. She's also one of the boy's real life superheros - the woman who held him close in a screaming hallway when all of Stark Industries seemed to be breaking down around him.

The day is very clear in the boy's mind. The decision to sneak out and explore the inner workings of his father's company. It made sense at the time. His dad always told stories of how one day Peter would lead the company to greatness. He just wanted to see all of the things promised to him.

Then the way Peter promised his father that he would head straight back to his room after being caught downstairs, but getting lost on the way back to his room because the tower is far larger and more complicated then his young mind could ever comprehend.

But mostly, he remembers crying in his Auntie Tasha's arms as she held him tight. He remembers the panic, but the warm fuzzy feeling of having someone he trusts wrapped around him. He remembers the safety and warmth of her holding him tightly.

As he grows, the young boy learns to understand more about the world around him. Peter's father sets straight the jumbled memories swirling around in his mind. Auntie Tasha was never his Aunt, not a single genome of blood relation between them.

Auntie Tasha was just a nickname a woman paid to take care of him, a little boy's way of processing the changing world around him. It should have never happened. His dad would have put his foot down.

 _"When your a young boy, it's easy to feel like everyone loves you. But as you grow, you learn that's not always the truth. She was just doing her job. We paid her to take care of you, and the second we couldn't afford her services anymore, she left."_

But it doesn't matter what his father says. Peter decides that Natasha did always love him, the same way that he feels love from his mother. Sometimes you can love someone, but the type of love feels different from the love you are already used to. That's why his love between his mother and father feels so different.

The way Natasha held him that day when he was half scared to death, shaking and sobbing in a broken home as sirens screamed in his ears, there's no other way that Peter could describe the feeling. She loved him enough to drop everything and keep him safe. She was his hero that day.

Peter's misses Natasha more than anything. It's like a little piece of his family is still missing and incomplete. Sometimes he just lays in bed and wonders what happened to her. Is she doing okay? Is she safe? Was she fired from Stark Industries for helping him? He hopes he isn't the reason she's gone.

He sees her in his dreams and even rarely during the day when they're out shopping. Sometimes the boy swears he sees a flash of Natasha's bright orange hair around street corners or on the other side of the grocery store. It's never her. His parents discourage the habit, so Peter stops mentioning the spottings early on.

There's no record of the nanny on any of his father's systems. It's like she mysteriously vanished from the company after that scary day, and the boy can't help but feel like he's the one responsible.

But he knows one thing. He wants to be like Natasha one day - and like his father too. He has the ability to help people. With Stark Industries reach and the support of his parents, he knows he can become a force of good in the world. He can create things that makes the world a better place.

* * *

"Keep your hand in mine, honey. I don't want you getting lost."

It's a reasonable request. The crowds around the young boy are pretty wild, patrons moving from booth to booth to get a taste of the newest Stark technology. He's nearly had his glasses knocked off three times now. His other hand has been practically glued to his face trying to keep them on.

It's so busy that the mom nearly regrets bringing her nine year-old son to the busy Stark Expo, but then she looks down and all regret dissolves. She sees the wonder in his eyes and the awe on his face - something only his father's creativity can provide - and her heart tightens.

He lives the Stark lifestyle, surrounded by technologies that the rest of the world can barely imagine, but he's still excited to see what the rest of the world sees. Most of the projects surrounding him are by lower level employees, not nearly as impressive as the things his father creates, and yet Peter is as excited as a kid on Christmas Day.

He doesn't get to see the behind the scene side of Stark Industries often. Things he really should be a part of, learning and exploring Stark Industries in the off chance that he wants to lead the company one day, but also things that his mother has kept hidden from him until he's older. She wants to give him a choice.

It's a difficult place to be. Pepper knows the likelihood that Peter will become the CEO one day - he's already showing signs that he belongs running his father's legacy. He's as smart as Tony Stark, and has an endless flow of wonder that keeps him exploring. He's a creator, yet calm and cool headed enough to be a reasonable businessman too. He's a leader and a fighter.

But Pepper knows she can't hide the company from him much longer, or the enormous amounts of wealth tied to his name. The tabloids are become more ill-mannered everyday, and his curiosity for his father's work is growing with his age.

Peter's even been allowed in the lab a few times to shadow Tony's simpler projects, with strict supervision from JARVIS. Peter also asks questions that his mother can no longer answer - things beyond her understanding, like physics and biology. He's outgrowing the things that she can provide for him.

So now, more than ever, Pepper tries to be there for her son. He's leaning more towards Tony's side of the family. He loves learning and building machines. More than he needs a mother to teach him the ways of kindness and love. Even though he will always need someone to be there when he cries, the little boy side of him is itching to become something more.

That's why they're here today. The Stark Expo is the best possible place to bring him. It shows him a big part of how Tony's company presents to the public and gives him a chance to experience really cool technology. But its also a way for Pepper to bond with her son, something they rarely experience anymore.

The next exhibit they visit is a fancy virtual reality display, a thick device strapped to your face that lets you experience any possible place in the world. It's very new technology, something Stark Industries Entertainment is only getting their footing into, but there's already some test simulations running for people to try if you're willing to wait through the long line. Luckily, the two have special badges that allow them to skip the lines, and Peter is given a chance to try the device up close without waiting too long.

The boy chooses the Ironman flying experience - _because of course he does_ \- and spends a few minutes with his hands reached out as his chair rumbles and blows air towards his face. Pepper can't see what's happening on screen, but she can at least smile at the great time he's having. It fills her heart with joy to see her son having this much fun. If only he could smile like this all the time.

After the Ironman experience, they sit down to have a little a small lunch in a private seating area for Stark employees. Just something light and quick - Peter's tummy is a little unsettled from his recent virtual reality adventures - but enough to keep him filled until dinnertime.

Pepper listens as he spends most of lunch time gushing about flying and not eating, something that happens far too often in their household. The mother tries to encourage him to take bits of his food in between gasped breaths, but also tries to listen to her son and nod along to his theories on how such technology works, and possible ideas to improve the motion sickness. He even manages to squeeze in a bit of Ironman trivia and fan boying. Pepper can only shake her head in laughter.

It's a good day for Pepper Potts. Her son may be slowly outgrowing her, and she's got a worrying pit in her belly that he soon won't need her anymore, but at least in this very moment, they can spend time together as mother and son. Right now they can be happy.

* * *

What a thrilling experience! Not only does Peter get to experience all amazing technology that surrounds him, but he gets to fly around like the a real life superhero. He was practically Ironman!

(He knows it can't be anything close to the actual experience of his dad flying around in the armor, but to a young boy like him, it felt like he was really racing through the clouds. He was Ironman.)

Peter even gets to pick out a special Ironman mask when they're moving through the sales floor. It's made from thin plastic, nothing like the masks his father makes, but he can tell its been hand crafted and isn't mass produced. It's quite the impressive piece of art, with a matching equally impressive price tag. But he promises his mother its the only thing he'll ask for, and she purchases it for him.

He spends the rest of the convention either holding it in his right hand or wearing it on his head. It's a bit annoying because he can't wear his glasses and the mask at the same time, but he lets his mother hold his glasses and does his best to not bump into anything while being Ironman instead.

They're just finishing a late lunch as they plan out their last few stops, but the priority is to reach the presentation his dad is putting on at five. He only has time to take a few more bites and tell his mother a few more Ironman facts he read off the internet before they have to go to the presentation.

The two have a special backside view of the event, and while he's heard a bit of planning from his parents in hushed whispers, he really has no idea what it will be about. He only knows the event will be live-streamed worldwide - since he usually watches at home from his Starkphone - and being backstage will give him the perfect chance to see how an event this large runs behind the scenes. It's been a really fun day, but he can't forget his father's instructions that he's here to learn.

But he was Ironman. He got to be Ironman for a few minutes today. That's all the fun he needs.

They move to the back stage area when they're all done eating. According to Peter's smart watch, its about twenty minutes until showtime. That gives the duo just enough time to wish daddy good luck and make sure he's all ready to go. He listens to his mother mutter about how easily Tony can back out of these things, but Peter's never experienced anything like that before. He just wants a chance to see his father in the Ironman armor up close.

Peter knocks quickly on the dressing room door and is quickly let inside by a staff member. The boy's eyes open in amazement as he scans the room, which is somehow practically a whole lab setup hidden in the large convention center. The room is large enough to encompass many of the man's Ironman armors, but also has a corner with some last minute notes. A special place just for his his dad, the magnificent Tony Stark.

His father's currently tucked into a corner working on some last minute touches on the Mark VI armor, but as soon as his mother opens her hand, Peter runs across the room and peaks over his dad to take a look as his dad's handy work. He's not sure exactly what his dad's doing to the suit, but he wants to be a part of it.

"Hey there, buddy. I see you found your own mask? Well there goes the plan of making you your very own suit," he says with a chuckle, putting the screwdriver back on the table.

"Really?!"

"No way! Tony don't joke about stuff like that. You know he can't operate a weaponized suit. It isn't funny to get his hopes up when you know the answer will always be no."

Peter pouts anyways. His dad always has the best ideas, and he's still high on the rush of the flying simulator so the coolest present he could have right now is his own suit.

The young boy watches Tony roll his eyes in the background, the same way he does whenever he thinks his mother is over reacting, so he might be able to change her mind still. "What if he takes out the weapons, mommy? That would make it more safe. It'd be like wearing a pillow!"

"That's a great idea, Peter. What do you think, honey?"

Pepper shakes her head anyways. "Still no. It's just too dangerous. You'll understand when your older, but at least you have your mask to play with. Show your father the mask you just got. Maybe he can add some lights to the eyes instead?"

The boy mutters something about it not being the same, but his spirits quickly rise as his father puts on his armor in front of him. The boy watches in awe as his father becomes the superhero he usually only gets to see on the television and his phone, wearing the armor he usually only gets to see behind locked doors.

And then something distracts the boy, an orange glint of hair from around the corner of the room. It passes by quick, but through the tiny window of the back exit door, Peter swears he sees the flashy hair of his Auntie Natasha. It seems almost impossible, but his heart aches towards the momentary sight. He tilts his head in confusion as he takes a few steps away from his parents and tries to get a better look.

"Wish me good luck," Tony says when only the face plate is left to attach, pointing to his cheek for a kiss from Pepper. She isn't into it.

"Don't hurt anyone," Pepper says with a sour tone under her breath.

"Excuse me? Maybe you could have a little bit more respect in front of Peter. I am his father, after all."

Peter's sure of it now. He's sure he saw he saw Natasha. He just needs to talk with her quick, maybe apologize for getting her fired, and make sure she's doing okay. If he leaves now and comes back quickly enough, his parents won't even notice he's gone. He's snuck off enough times like this before to know how much time he has.

"And what does that matter? I'm his mom. Maybe I don't appreciate you making me look like the bad guy in front of him. You know he can't have a suit."

"Get out of my way, Pepper. I have work to do now. Maybe you should watch your place."

"Excuse me? Are you threatening me?"

"You know I would never hurt you. Just get of the way and let me do my job."

Peter's sure he will be back before they even notice.

* * *

"You better not fuck it up this time. This is your last fucking chance, Romanoff."

"I know," she mutters under her breath as she wanders down the crowded hallway. The very sensitive headpiece picks up her whispers, but the people around her don't suspect a thing. She just seems like every other Stark Industries employee backstage right now, but she moves through the crowds with more grace and precision than every person combined. "It won't be a problem."

There's no steps to her mission this time. No order of operation, only a mission with a life or death ending. Either she gets it done and she has continued work, or she needs to find another way to live from now on.

Natasha's been instructed to get an Ironman suit and disable the trackers long enough that SHIELD can steal it later to study the technology. That's easy enough said, but it takes a certain amount of skills for someone to even get backstage, let alone close to Tony Stark without being noticed. Natasha knows she works best when under life threatening pressure, but she's not even sure she's that lucky.

SHIELD is a constant distraction, buzzing through the ear piece as they monitor the situation, making sure she obeys their every whim. The operator says he's there help, but Natasha was briefed enough to know this really is her final chance to get her shit together. They're only monitoring her because they think she'll be distracted by the boy again. They don't actually trust her to get the mission done.

Natasha's not sure she trusts herself either.

But she has to do this. SHIELD is the only "family" she knows. She doesn't have many livable skills, but they gave her a job she can take pride in: getting information without killing people. SHIELD pays her bills, they make sure she has a roof above her head and food to eat (though its pretty bare bones most of the time), and they've promised to keep her bloodied past a secret.

Natasha owes her life to them. She doesn't know how to live without their influence. So the spy needs to get this done. She needs to prove that she isn't distracted bimbo. She's worth something.

The spy passes by the hidden back window of Tony's make shift lab, and spots little Peter next to the large Ironman suit, but forces herself to keep head straight and quickly moves out of his sight. She can't afford the distraction. Besides, it's best if he never sees her again. They've been apart for too long.

"Any luck locating the product?"

"Stark's suited up in the lab, but I saw some back up suits there too. We could easily get one of those while he's presenting. I just need to wait for his family to follow him out."

"Then get it done."

* * *

"You're here to care for him. Now go keep him safe and stay out of my way."

Tony storms out in the Ironman armor.

There's no point in fighting with him any further. Not when he's so well armed and threatening. There's a thick iron suit protecting his body, and glasses that protect his family from his emotions inside, but the biggest protection are the legal documents declaring Tony Stark with full custody of his son.

There's a cushion of money and legal teams making sure that Pepper can't leave this situation. Even if she wanted to, she doesn't think she could bear the loss of her son. She still needs him.

All the mother can do is wipe the anger her eyes on, a futile attempt to keep her pain from her son. This is just the usual bickering - nothing too loud or painful compared to their usual arguments - but Pepper apologizes anyways as she turns towards the boy.

When Pepper scans the room around her, Peter is no where to be seen. He's gone.

"Peter! Are you in here?" she demands loudly, doing her best to keep her panic under control, with her heart still racing from the earlier argument, only adding to her growing worries.

"Peter! If you're in here, I need to know right now. This isn't time for games."

Even with her strictest mother voice, she can't seem to find the boy anywhere. She does one more quick sweep of the room, checking under Tony's large desk and a few hidden spots, but he isn't anywhere nearby. And he knows much better than to hide from her when she's calling.

He must have wandered off in the chaos of their fight, and Pepper's heart tightens with guilt and fear because she knows this is partly her fault. There's so many people in the large convention center, anything could have happened to the boy in the time they were distracted.

Pepper runs into the hallway to keep her search going, quickly running through corridors and empty rooms in search for her son, asking every single employee she passes if they've seen Peter. No one has.

Pepper even alerts the nearest security guard and alerts them of the situation, but they seem too busy with over running crowds and an oncoming threat to care. Pepper wishes she could scare them into prioritizing this like Tony could, but she's only seen to the other employees as the nanny. Pepper knows her command isn't enough to start a search team.

And as much as she can still feel herself fuming from the earlier argument between them, she knows she can't handle this alone. He's such a high risk little boy with the Stark name attached to him. Even with his father doing his best to keep him safe at school and home, this is an unsecured location where anything could go wrong. There's a large possibility for kidnapping if he's found by the wrong person.

Pepper rushes to the side of the stage to get Tony's attention quickly, flashing her badge to get through the extra layers of security, but finds she's too late reaching him. Tony's already on the stage presenting some knock off robotics weapons project, and she can't rush on the stage to get his attention without alerting the world that their son is missing. It's too risky with the world wide livestream currently airing.

The mom bites her lip as she turns on her heels, every single bad scenario running through her head at once. There's so many of them where Peter gets hurt or she loses the boy because of her mistake, but she has to push down her sick feelings for the time being.

Her priority needs to be Peter. She has to do everything she can to find him. All she can do is her best in this very moment, and then she'll can worry about everything else when her son is safe in her arms.

* * *

This turns out to be the perfect chance to steal an Ironman suit.

It isn't too long into the presentation when the chaos erupts. The convention center erupts in panic from some sort of chaotic takeover, leaving employees and viewers running for their lives. It's enough of a distraction for the spy to get her work done quickly and quietly, mostly because its a big enough threat to keep the great Tony Stark distracted while she breaks into the lab.

Natasha's not even sure what is happening on the main stage. There's something wrong with the new suits maybe? Or possibly its a plot to overtake Stark Industries? Natasha can't really be sure what's happening, nor does she care, but her heart does break for the scared little boy watching the presentation live.

The spy has more important things to worry about, though. She's got a job to do. And she can't get distracted by Peter a third time. She can't keep being there for him.

Besides, there's no way Pepper would ever leave his side. And with Tony Stark near by in full Ironman armor, the boy will be perfectly safe. There's nothing for the nanny to worry about.

"You got this Natasha," she whispers to herself, "You just need to focus."

The spy makes her way down the hallway and back towards the door she spotted Peter in earlier. It's the most hidden and least guarded spot for her to break in, her best chance to get in and out without being noticed. With so many employees darting around wildly, she hopes there will be few backstage to spot her toying with the lock.

It's an easy enough task for her to fiddle with the lock once she's alone and hidden in the shadows again. It's only a simple card swipe system, not nearly tight enough to protect the treasures hidden inside, likely because Tony thought he'd be nearby the entire show and no one would ever challenge him this way.

"Ms Rushman, oh thank god!"

The name causes Natasha twirls in the tiny cramped hallway with wide eyes. She's careful to keep the broken door behind her where Pepper can't see. It's bad enough that another employee had to recognize her during this mission, but of course it had to be Pepper. Though its odd seeing her here without Peter by her side.

Natasha stays pressed up against the door as the intruder embraces her in a hug, only giving the spy microseconds to re-balance and keep the unlocked door from slamming open underneath her body weight.

"I lost Peter. I was having a fight with Tony, and I got distracted, and now I can't find him anywhere. You have to help me find him. I don't know what's happening, but he's not safe."

"Don't you fucking dare," the SHIELD worker commands into her ear. It's quiet enough that Pepper can't hear the words, but it doesn't change the way the mother shakes in the spy's arms. Natasha's never seen the woman so weak or desperate before.

Not when Peter's father was lost in a war torn country, not when the nanny was forcefully removed from the family, and not the night the boy was locked from his apartment as the alarms blared through Stark Tower.

What can Natasha do? She can't be distracted from her mission again.

"Please. I know we threw you away, but Tony's off protecting civilians. And we had a horrible argument earlier. If he finds out I lost him in such a dangerous situation, I don't know what he'll do. I might lose him, Natasha. Tony's been so strict about custody lately and implying some very nasty things. I can't imaging losing him right now, he's all I have left. You have to understand, right?"

Natasha takes a deep calming breath and only lets her hands hesitate behind Pepper for a few seconds unsure. The pain in her chest is nearly too much to bear, but she lets herself give in and finally embraces the mother in a hug. She keeps her arms around the trembling woman and resists her training. It feels right.

"It's going to be okay, Pepper. I'm sure he's safe," she murmurs into her hair.

"What if something happens to him before we can find him?"

"Get rid of her. Now."

"No."

"No?"

"I'm sure nothing will happen to him," Natasha clarifies.

"But Tony..."

"No, Pepper. I'm not going to let anything happen to him. I won't let Tony take him from you. That's a promise I'm making to you. Now lets go find your son."

With the mother's back turned, the spy takes the ear piece from her canal and smashes it on the floor with her heels. She's made up her mind. Natasha isn't their puppet anymore. She won't work for them ever again.

* * *

The pandemonium is widespread as patrons run through the venue in panic like chickens with their heads cut off. It's insane and Tony can't help but think how mindless people are when they're in danger.

Tony's trying to help them all. There's a voice inside him screaming to keep these people safe, to protect them from the falling debris and blasts echoing off the broken androids. Every person here is special to someone, and he's committed to not leaving a single person behind.

Blood rushes through his already overworked organs, his heart pounding heavily against the back of the arc reactor with every move maneuvered, but he ignores the constant sting of pain he experiences. He needs to stay focused and continue to process all the information being played across the screen of his visor to react accordingly and save the most lives possible.

At least he doesn't have to worry about Peter. He should be save with Pepper, and he last saw the two of them not too long ago in his lab. They're probably far away from this catastrophe.

And Rhodey is around somewhere. It's been a long day, and finding out his best friend re-purposed one of his suits has only worked towards souring Tony's mood, but he knows the civilians - and to an extension, his son - is safe with the Rhodes working by his side. He just needs to stay focused on his next ten moves.

* * *

Little Peter is lost in the chaos.

The glint of orange hair vanished too quickly around the corner of the back hallway, leaving him shaking his head in regret. He's already nine years old. He should know better than to wander away from his parents, sneaking through the mazes of backstage hallways, hoping to see someone he hasn't seen in years. He knows he did a bad the second he turns around and realizes he can't see that far because he left his glasses on the workbench in the lab. He can barely see down the hallway, let alone hope to find his way back to his parents.

Not only will his mom have to deal with the sadness from fighting with his father, but now she'll be worried and upset because Peter can't seem to find his way back to them. He knows he should have never left her side, and he can feel the overwhelming pound of his heart as tears gather in the corner of his eyes. His chest aches as a growing panic settles within. What if he never sees his mom again?

But he doesn't have too long to focus on his fear and insecurities before the whole convention center erupts into screaming. Peter can feel the ground tremors beneath him as large blasts rock the walls next door. He isn't quite sure what's going on, but he knows its something bad. The type of threat his father always fights against.

Peter can be strong and tough too. It was only hours ago that he was flying like Ironman and feeling the rush of the winds through his hair. He always says he wants to help people in the same way his dad does. Maybe he doesn't have a suit of armor protecting his skin, but he does have his Ironman mask and a pair of gloves on his person. That should be enough to at least hide his identity.

The thought of standing tall and doing whats right gives the little boy strength. He needs to find his way to safety all on his own. He puts on his mask and does the best he can with his limited vision.

Peter turns towards the next hallway, carefully following the screams of the other people stuck inside the building as it shakes. There's a rush of them stampeding towards the stairs, desperate to get down towards a safer level and leave the building. He moves towards them, keeping his hand running alongside the wall so that he doesn't miss any far away objects in his vision, but it also keeps him balanced as the building rocks with each blast.

The people around him bump and shove the boy once he joins them, but he just manages to slip through due to his small size and skinny stature. No one cares for the young boy, and Peter can only assume that's because he's acting so calm and brave, like a real adult.

Another strong blast, this one much closer than the rest. Dust and small debris fall around him, the larger rocks reflecting off his people much taller than him. But the movement sends the stairs ajar and sends him tumbling down the last few steps towards the cement landing. He only barely manages to catch himself before his mask smashes against the rough floor, though his hands are left in pretty bad condition. The gloves have protected most of his palms, but they're pretty ripped now, and there's still friction burns across his fingers and knees.

Peter wants to cry. He wants his mommy to find him and kiss his wounds better, but he knows crying to won't make the situation any better. He actually gets more attention when he's quiet. And she's not here, so he needs to keep moving forward and get himself to a safe location.

He wipes the blood from his hands onto his pants and continues forward.

It only takes a bit of squeezing and pushing for him to get through the front door crowd, then a bit more shoving until he finds himself through the building's entrance. The air around him is clean and crisp again, though he can still see dirt particles surrounding the building like a volcanic eruption.

Peter's not sure where he'll go next. He doesn't see anyone he knows in the mass of panic. No Happy, no Natasha, and no mommy or daddy. He'll just have to improvise.

Though he can see the problem a lot better now. There's a hoard of knock off robots flying around the center, causing disarray as they break the building and battle his father in the air. Peter takes a few seconds to admire his father's armor as it flies above the convention center and blasts the evil robots, knowing time is precious right now, but still too impressed by the amazing things his dad builds and what he can do. His dad is a superhero through and through, and maybe one day Peter can be just as glorious.

The boy has no way to know that one day his day will come, but at his current age, he isn't ready to be making these kinds of decisions with real time consequences. He's not a superhero. He's a child.

Yet he doesn't get much choice. All of his parent's choices - as well as a few of his own - have brought him to this life threatening moment. He should be running as far away as possible, getting to safety far away from these horrible monsters, but he takes time admiring his father's creation instead.

"Peter! No!"

Peter turns his head to face the sound and see what's going on, but it's too late. The second he turns, one of the giant robots lands directly in front of him, locked onto his face like he's the target. Peter does the only thing he knows how to do - the only thing his father's absent lifestyle has taught him.

Be tall. Don't show fear. And always stand up for what you believe in.

Little Peter raises his hand in defiance. There's no blaster attached to his arm, no metal armor surrounding his child-soft skin, yet he defies the laws around him. He's a superhero. He is Ironman.

Heated sparks explode around the young boy as the metal robot explodes in front of his eyes.

* * *

Ironman flies away from the young boy. Peter's safe from the current catastrophe caused by his father's reckless behavior. At least at this very moment.

The two woman watch Tony fly off once again, leaving his son where he's still barely protected from the surrounding danger. There's calamity surrounding them, and the boy's life actually is in danger, yet he leaves him standing for nothing in the middle of no where.

Tony probably didn't even recognize their son underneath the Ironman mask he was wearing, though Pepper can see the awe shining through the mask and recognizes the boy's movements instantly. There's no mistaking that boy for anyone but Peter.

Pepper runs towards the young boy, dropping to the ground to hold him close for a few precious seconds. She seethes from the anger she has for Tony, and she shakes from the fear of ever being close to losing Peter, but she's mostly just filled with happiness and relief for her son's safety.

"I'm so sorry mommy. I'll never wander off again," he says, trembling in her arms.

"We don't have time for this," Natasha whispers behind her, quiet enough so that the boy can't hear the warning.

Pepper kisses the boys head and scoops him into her arms. With the mask on, he surely isn't wearing his glasses. She knows his eyes aren't reliable enough to navigate the flying debris and his legs are too short to keep up with the two adults. Not to mention the smeared blood on the boy's hands. Carrying is the safest way to get him away from danger right now, even if he's much heavier than he used to be.

The two woman run far away from the collapsing building. Pepper keeps a close eye on Natasha, but she seems to be doing just fine. The mom only has to worry about the shaking boy clinging to her chest.

Pepper can just focus on her son. Natasha seems to keeping a close eye on the surrounding chaos and keeping their little family safe. It's interesting. The nanny seems protective of the two people, but also very ready to break into action at any moment. Almost like she's used to the chaos surround them.

It makes Pepper nervous, but not in the way Tony makes her experience. She feels safe and protected, like a new chapter of her life is starting.

"What do we do now? Where do we go?"

The spy looks over with mirth in her eyes. "I think I have a place."


	10. Promises

Peter sleeps restlessly.

His body is exhausted, but his limited mind even more so. That was one of the most chaotic days of his life. There's so much information for his mind to process through.

He experienced a brush of death with a killer robot army, but also the joy his little superhero adventure brought him. It was a day filled with beautiful first time experiences and panic filled pain and adrenaline as he worried he may never find his way back to his family. He could have lost Pepper forever.

His body refuses to forget the feeling, even in his sleep. The way the building shook around him while danger manifested around him. He can still remember the events of the evening so clearly, and it leaves his brain pounding against his skull in dismay. The slamming of footsteps and screams from the frightened people that lock him inside, the numb sting of his scraped knees and hands, and the threat posed against his father in such a public venue. There was no way for the boy to remember his family would protect him against all harm, not when he's so terrified and scared.

And even though it leaves his heart pounding and his veins filled with fearful adrenaline, the little boy can't help the pride growing within. The painful bruising of his wounds are reminders that he did it - he found his parents through the chaos and saved himself. He was a real superhero - relying only on his heart and instinct. He faced those monsters and came out better then before. And even though he didn't help as many people as Ironman, he made sure was family is safe, and that's all that really matters.

Pepper. Natasha. Happy. They're all safe. The only one he didn't safe was his father, but he's Ironman, so there's no doubt in the Peter's mind that he's also safe.

* * *

With the Stark Expo forcibly over, Peter holds himself close to his mom as they escape. They run far away from the disaster. Dust fills a large radius of blocks, but Peter switches to the nanny's arms half way through, and they continue getting as far away as possible. Peter feels just as secure in these arms, though it's been a long time since he was this close to Natasha. Her grip is still stronger than his mom's, but still very comforting. He knows everything is over with both women here protecting him.

The rocking of Natasha's footsteps pull him towards a deep sleep, despite the view of the mayhem happening in the background. Peter watches through dreary eyes as the Ironman suit flies around the venue, leaving smoke trails before going out of sight once again. The last think Peter thinks about is that he hopes his daddy is safe.

When the little boy opens his eyes, he isn't anywhere he knows from his lifetime.

There's a sense of familiarity - like a family member you haven't seen since the last gathering - but he can't quite put his finger on the place. It's possible that he's been here before. He does feel a sense of safety and knowing as he looks around, but there's not a single name that he can tie to the place. It's just a place that he doesn't belong, no matter how secure he feels.

The neighborhood is peaceful. This is a good place. Surrounded in light and mist, with a gentle light filtering through the stands of cotton candy clouds. There's angels flying in the background, beautiful creatures with large outstretched wings. And there's a rainbow streaming across the background, with colors than he could have ever imagined.

The boy feels the soft clouds beneath him, running his fingers through the soft cumulus ground, all shreds of the boy's skin healed.

Peter suddenly knows where he is. He feels no pain, no fear, and no hurt. This is the end.

"Peter? I'm here munchkin. Everything's okay."

"Mmmmmmm..."

The boy preens as the strange woman runs her fingers through his hair in a gesture of love. It's familiar and safe feeling, and although he knows his mother does so quite often on Earth, there a difference in the gesture here. This is a different woman, someone he's never seen before, but also knows deep down that that's wrong.

He angles back his head and takes a good look. This time he doesn't wake up from the dream. He finally sees _her_.

The woman standing behind him looks near identical to him. It's like looking into his mirror at home. His heart calls out to her - a constant ache within him - and he spends minutes just sitting there, analyzing every familiar detail of her. He's relearning the woman he hasn't seen in so long, letting his body process the heartache of losing her, and imprinting on her all over again.

"Who are you?"

"I'm your mother, Peter."

Peter tilts his head confused. Pepper is his mother. As far back as he can remember, he remembers Pepper raising him. And yet, this woman's words are true. He knows they're true. It's a weird feeling that he can't shake, but as sensible as time itself. The sky is blue. The grass is green. This is his mom.

And she definitely looks like him. Unlike him, her eyes are a bright blue, but she has brown cascading curls around her shoulders. The same way Peter's hair starts to curl when he goes too long without a haircut. Their smiles are the same, the same hesitant twitch and worry in their brow, and the same concern for others in her eyes. Her stature is also very similar: skinny and short, but a bit too boney at times. Stars dance around her as the sun shines through the clouds, but it only makes her freckles lighten and their similarities become even more obvious.

There's one major difference between them that Peter can't help but notice. This woman has a large pair of angelic wings framing the space behind her, just like all the other beings the boy saw flying around earlier. Peter's pretty sure he doesn't have wings yet. He even does a quick check of his own back to be sure, but there's nothing behind him. This is only a dream.

"You died?"

She nods sorrowfully.

"But I'm not dead? Am I?"

She shakes her head. "You've been through quite a lot today, but you are alive and well. Your scrapes will heal with time."

Then why is Peter here with her? He takes a quick look around again. This place is calming peace that he desperately needs right now, but he's not dead, probably won't be for a very long time, and he doesn't belong here. He should be at home with his parents - he should with his mom and dad. Then it hits him.

"Pepper isn't my mom. She isn't even related to me, is she?"

The angel turns and starts walking in the opposite direction, motioning with her hand for the boy to follow her. It's quiet as they walk toward the large rainbow in the background, despite the constant song of a gentle wind and the dancing of his mother's feathers in the breeze. Peter leaves a good amount of space between them as they walk. Even with the constant tugging in his chest, his brain warns him to be careful. She's may be his mother, but there's a part of him that also sees her as a stranger. It's a very confusing feeling.

Pepper is his mother. Kind of. The angel seems to know, despite not answering the question, and there's still a deep temptation inside of Peter to ask again. The way his feet bounce on the fluffy clouds only distract him for so long. The boy is left with a mind struggling with endless questions and not enough answers, but this feels like the time for patience.

Time stretches forever here, but also it seems like no time has passed at all when they reach the rainbow. It's even more beautiful up close.

"It's a bridge?"

His mother nods. "This is Rainbow Bridge, a link between our two worlds. Sometimes animals wait here for their owners to pass over, but it's also used for angels to come down and visit the people they left too early."

"You didn't want to leave me?"

"Heavens no. I've missed you so much, Peter. It's been hard watching you grow up from so far away. I never wanted this life for you."

"What do you mean? I love my life. And I know she's not my mom, but I love Pepper. I really do."

"Pepper is the best mother any boy could hope for, at least in the circumstances you were left with. But I didn't know she would come with so much baggage, so much hurt. You're probably too young to notice, but I wouldn't exactly call your upbringing a typical happy environment, Peter. It's bad enough you lost me so early on, but the lifestyle your father lives is broken in every way. He has problems prioritizing people, like you and Pepper. He didn't have the best upbringing himself, and doesn't know how important family should be. He doesn't know how to care without hurting."

"No. My dad's Ironman. He cares for the world around him. Too much sometimes," the boy says, leaning over the railings of the bridge to the ripped clouds below. His words are meant to reassure his mom, but he can feel the truth within them. There have been some times that he wished his father was just a little bit more active in their relationship. A little less Ironman.

"I should have known. I was a lost soul when I met him. I only smartened up when I got pregnant with you, Peter. You were my everything, but by creating you, I put you in a position where you could never have a content life. I made a mistake, and though I will never regret bringing you into this world, I do regret the circumstances of your birth. I hope you can forgive me."

"You don't need to be sorry. I know my life is messy. My family is a bit broken at times, but they're also very good people. I love them so much, mom. And I know they love me," he says pointing below. The clouds are starting to open, the pool below them opening to show the world below. Peter can see his small form sleeping in the car as Natasha and Pepper drive him away from the wreckage of the Stark Expo. They're protecting him, the same way they always have and always will.

"Your life will get harder before it gets easier, young Peter. I hope they're enough. I only want you to be happy."

Peter turns away from the bridge and the scene opening below. He holds his mother's hands in his, and looks up towards her beautiful face. "Please don't worry about me. I love my life, and my family, and friends, and every single day that I get to experience on Earth. I am very happy. I promise."

His mother pulls him their bodies together, wrapping her arms around him. The two hold each other close, and Peter wishes this didn't feel like the end of their newly developed relationship. Her wings wrap around him in support and solidarity, but there's still a certain sadness in the angel's expression. He wishes he could stay here and comfort her longer, but that would require leaving the life he's created for himself, and the broken family that still needs him so much. He isn't ready to leave Pepper.

"This might be the last time I visit you. You're growing up so fast and you don't need my guidance anymore. But I want you to remember that I'm always watching over you, and when your time comes, I'll be here waiting and ready to bring you home. I love you, my little Peter Benjamin Parker. And I always will."

Peter nods and feels the squeeze of her body one last time, doing his best to commit her form to memory in case this really is the last time. He takes in the familiar scent of her body, the way her curls bounce in the wind, the glint in her eyes, the softness of her hands, and the love in her heart. Pepper is his mother, but this woman will always a part of him, and he needs to keep her memory alive.

Peter can feel himself waking up. He doesn't fight it. He only tells his mom that he loves her one last time.

When he wakes up strapped into his booster seat in Natasha's vehicle, he takes a few moments to wipe his teary eyes and adjust back to the real world. He feels at peace - more peaceful than he has in a very long time. It must have been a really good dream to leave him feeling this healed and well rested; the boy just wishes he could remember what it was about.

* * *

It isn't too hard to stay hidden when you've spent your whole life in the shadows.

Natasha has a place in mind. A safe house that's only a few states away, with people she knows she can trust. The long drive to Missouri is usually sixteen hours, only ten when she's alone and can drive like a maniac with no regard for traffic laws, but she can't do that this time. There's a child in the car that needs to be cared for. A child she swore to protect. And besides driving at a safe speed for Peter, there's other needs she needs to attend to. Children need to eat, drink, be entertained, and empty their bladder time and time again.

The trio change into clean clothes at the first pit stop. Natasha's got some additional clothes that fit Pepper well enough, though there are some jokes thrown about the goth-like style of the clothes. They're mostly black with lots of straps for Natasha attach her weapons to during missions, but they laugh it off as some sort of odd fashion tastes. Maybe a kink at best.

There's also a care bag for Peter in the trunk, filled with necessities and things to keep the young boy entertained. It's enough to get Peter changed into something less dirt and ripped.

"It's just stuff I've had since I was let go," Natasha lies, but Pepper knows it isn't true. It's been years since the nanny worked for Stark Industries, yet all the clothes in the dufflebag are Peter's current size. They fit him perfectly, as if Natasha was keeping herself prepared to flee at any moment. Pepper doesn't comment, but does give her friend a quick shoulder squeeze as thanks.

When Peter's belly starts to grumble, they're careful to only stop at unmarked truck stops with very little cameras. Natasha sticks to back roads with very little traffic. It almost doubles their driving time, but the spy knows this is their best chance of getting there undetected. Tony Stark is likely already searching for them and he has eyes everywhere, but Natasha has many tricks up her sleeve and years of training that give them the edge. Including a quick cell phone smashing before they left the state of New York. Better safe than sorry.

Peter seems to be emptying his bladder a lot more than normal, which is a bit annoying, especially when there's so few truck stops that they can actually trust. Natasha can only blame the endless cans of soda grabbed at gas stations and rushed mealtimes, but she can't be mad. He's just a boy. At least he's a boy, and can tinkle in the road side woods much easier than the two adults on the trip.

"How's the cash situation?" Natasha whispers when they pull over to refill the tank with gas once more, the little boy sleeping in the back seat quietly.

"We're doing okay. I took out a couple grand before leaving New York. I think we should be okay until we get there. I might have a better idea if I knew where we were going."

Natasha has no response. She's not sure what to say, so it's painfully quiet as they refill the gas tank until Pepper speaks again.

"Natasha? Where we're going to... You don't have to tell me, but... it's safe, right?"

"The safest. I promise."

* * *

Pepper tucks her boy into the crappy motel bed, but does her best to act like this is completely normal. It's beyond difficult.

She knows how horrible this place it. It isn't a place for kids. She can hear the moans through the walls, knows what this place is really used for. At least it's roach and bed bug free, but it's the complete opposite of the life Peter is used to living. The bed creaks when he moves, the television only gets a few channels, and they all have to share a bathroom. The boy barely notices the difference in quality or the hushed breathes leaking through the walls, but it still feels like Pepper's punishment for running away.

"I miss my spider plushie," the young boy whines in his bed. "I've never slept without it before, mommy. I don't know if I can."

"I know," Pepper says as she sits on the edge of his bed, running her hands through his hair, doing the only thing she can to comfort her child. "I'm sorry we forgot it at home."

The boy clenches the blankets as he nods sadly, but he doesn't push the matter further. He can pick up on the dreary vibe of the room. He knows it won't do any good to complain to his mom any further. She can't make the plushie appear out of nowhere, but he does eventually falls asleep with the white noise of the television in the background.

"Is it safe for me to call Tony quick? I want to let him know we're safe. He's probably worried sick."

Natasha doesn't look like she approves of the idea, but she doesn't say no. That wouldn't help anyone right now.

"Video call him through my phone," she says handing it over. "It has a VPN so he shouldn't be able to track our location. I'd still keep it short though. And stay close to the car. There are no cameras here, but we don't need any nosey neighbors catching you through the window. This is still a very delicate situation, and we aren't completely safe until we get there tomorrow."

"And Peter?" she whispers.

"Don't worry about Peter. I'll keep an eye on him until your done. I promised I won't let anything happen to him," she says with a fond smile towards the boy.

Pepper mouths the words thank you as she exits the tiny room.

The mom's heart beats wildly as she enters the phone number to Tony's work station, as well as the four digit code to bypass their security system in case of an emergency. This seems like an emergency enough. The phone only rings for a few quick beats before he picks up.

"Yes? Hello? Pepper, is that you?"

His voice is scratchy and broken. Pepper can tell he hasn't slept since she left. That he's likely been crying the whole time. Maybe even drinking.

"Yes, it's me. I wanted to give..."

"Thank lord. Are you okay? I thought someone had taken you in the mess. I returned to the tower and you weren't back yet, but then you didn't come home."

"Yes, I'm sorry. I need to talk to you about..."

"And then I called your phone and it was off. I tracked it down to the edge of state, but it was smashed beyond repair. I've been searching ever since. Is Peter with you?"

"Peter is safe. I was actually calling be..."

"Good. I was sure this was a trap, and I'd just fallen into it by being concerned. What happened? No. You know what. It doesn't matter what happened. Just let me know where you two are and I'll come pick you up."

"Actually, Tony, as I was saying I don't think..."

"Pepper. This isn't the time to think. This is the time to do. Just tell me where you..."

"Will you stop interrupting me?! I'm trying to talk and you aren't even listening to me. You never listen to me. That's the problem here, Tony!"

He stops talking. Pepper can hear only deafening silence and audio static through the other end of the voice call. For once in her life, the great Tony Stark has nothing to say, so Pepper swallows her nervousness and tries to put on a brave face for her son. She does what needs to be done.

"Peter and I aren't coming home. You threatened to take him, Tony. I couldn't let you do that. I couldn't let you threaten and loom over us anymore."

"You... you took Peter?"

"Yes. I did. As much as you seem to forget it, I am his mother. I raised him. And he will be safe with me."

"Where are you going?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Who are you with?"

"It's none of your concern."

"It's Natasha, isn't it? You know she's an assassin, right? I found some very interesting notes in the last forty-eight hours of searching. She was employed by an organization to steal Stark Industries secrets, the same shady organization that tried to recruit me to fight for their cause. She can't be trusted. She's a liar and a cheater."

"Tony. You're changing the topic again. This isn't about Natasha. It's about you and your shitty behavior. It's not okay to treat me the way you have been."

More deafening silence. Then a single word. "Alright."

"Alright?" Pepper asks confused.

"Alright. I'm not going to come after you, because I know that will just scare you away further. I just want you to come home."

"You aren't going to track us or chase after us? How should I trust your word?"

"Because that's all I have right now. I've lost everything, Pepper. Just take care of Peter, and Pepper, please take care of yourself too. I don't trust that her. She's bad people, but there's no way to convince you of that. But let me know if you need anything, like money or clothes or food. I know how hard it can be... being displaced from your home with no one else to count on. "

The call drops. Pepper can only describe her emotions as a messy mix of heartbreak and confusion.

* * *

Natasha knows they're being watched from the second they enter the large property.

That's okay. There's no threat to them here. There's even a sense of longing here for Natasha. Even though she's only been here a few quick times before, she trusts these people with all her heart, and she knows they would never do anything to hurt her. Or Pepper. Or Peter. As they reach the end of the long dusty country road, she can feel her heart swelling with joy. She belongs here.

The spy sends a quick signal to Pepper and Peter in the back seat, telling them to stay in the car while she scouts ahead. She knows they're safe here, but she promised them that no harm would come to either of them, and she needs to be absolutely sure that the Bartons are on her side before revealing the real reason of her visit.

Clint immediately comes barreling into the drive way with a huge smile on his face, quickly erasing all doubts in the spy's mind. He runs right into her body, practically knocking her back onto the ground - if it wasn't for her quick reaction time - and wraps his arms around her in a too tight hug. It feels amazing.

"I'm so glad you're safe. I heard you told SHIELD to fuck off? Good for you girl!"

Natasha shakes her head regretfully. "It's a bit more complicated than that, but yeah, essentially."

"I expected you to go off grid afterwards, but you must be in pretty rough shape to come here. You're always welcome here, it's just a bit too predictable for you."

"Well. Like I said, there are complications involved. I sort of brought friends," she says, gesturing to tinted windows of the car, then motioning that its safe for them to come out.

The door opens pretty slowly before Pepper Potts steps out. She's pretty disheveled after the last few days of road tripping, but has the same grace as the way the media portrays her. She's been through so much in the last few weeks, but still manages to stay strong for her son. Natasha admires her perseverance.

The mother moves to the back of the car and unbuckles Peter from his booster seat. He's still pretty sleepy, so he just rests his head on his mom's shoulder as she carries him towards the small party. The boy seems in better shape, but only barely. It's clear they've been through a lot in the last few days.

Clint raises an eyebrow in questioning. "You kidnapped the Starks? That's not going to be good, Natasha."

"God, Clint! I didn't kidnap the Starks! They're refugees. We need your help. A safe place to stay for a while. Get back on our feet."

"Are you sure this place is safe?" Pepper asks fearfully, holding her son closer than usual. The fear is obvious on her face to the spy, but hopefully Clint has enough training to pick up on the situation as well. Natasha wouldn't be here if she had any other choice. These two people are her new mission.

"There's no cameras or satellites tracking this place, and very few records of its construction. It's pretty off grid. They barely even have functioning wifi," Natasha replies.

"Yes. You'll all be safe here. Natasha already has a room ready because she never visits, but we can set up a guest room for you two. It would be no intrusion," Clint's wife says as she approaches the group. She holds a baby in her arms, only speaking in gentle tones that are oddly reassuring to the adults. Natasha's elated to see the safe birth of little Nathaniel.

"Thank you for your kindness. I promise we won't intrude for long. We'll figure something else soon," Pepper promises.

"Please don't worry about it. Little Peter looks so tired already," Laura says with a worrisome tone. "Why don't you lay him down in a bed and then I can get started on some proper food for all of you?"

"Maybe a shower too, Natasha. You kind of stink," Clint remarks jokingly.

Natasha gives Pepper a reassuring nod before watching them head into the house. She stays behind to get the bags from the trunk, Clint close at her side.

"You sure this is safe? You know all the trouble Tony has been causing for SHIELD. I built this place to keep my family hidden and safe from all the drama."

"She is a victim, Clint. No less than I am. We both have no where to go, and we weren't going to leave Peter with some half baked vigilante that spends his days degrading and threatening the only woman in his household. They both deserve better."

"Hey," Clint says placing his hand on her arm assuredly. "I'm not kicking either of you out. Okay?"

Natasha nods her head. "I know. It's just been a rough week. They're my family now, Clint. I need to keep them safe. I promised her I would."

"Then we will. You know what they always say. Families are like fudge. Mostly sweet, but with a bit of nuts."

Natasha rolls her eyes as she grabs the luggage from the trunk, giving the agent a shove with her spare arm. "You're such a fucking idiot, Barton."

* * *

"Are you talking to him tonight?"

Pepper nods. It's Friday night. Natasha already knows the answer; Tony calls every Friday night to check in on Peter.

They've been gone for two and a half months now, pretty much the length of the entire Summer. Clint's farm house has become a home away from home for Pepper, and she's thankful for everything the Bartons have done to provide for her son. She's been given an opportunity to rediscover herself. Time to heal alongside new family, each member with their own place in the household.

Clint - the provider. He's the head of household, but everyone can tell he's just a big goof ball. He's very soft for his wife and family, the same way Pepper used to wish Tony would be for her. He works for the same organization that Natasha used to, though in a different department, mostly doing protection work. He's not always home, but he's taken it upon himself to guard Peter like his own kin. She's so thankful for Clint, finally a solid father figure for her son. Someone he can look up to completely.

Natasha - the assassin turned good. Pepper's recently learned the entirety of her past, from the ripped wounds within to the lives she's taken, and the giant sacrifice Natasha made by abandoning her mission and coming here. Pepper has nothing but forgiveness for the woman's tortured past, and they've become closer friends than ever.

Laura - Clint's wife. Childcare has been split among the three woman, but Laura's always had a soft spot for cooking and running the household. Pepper can easily see why Clint fell for her gentle and giving nature. The woman loves nothing more than her two children: Lila, Cooper, and the new baby Nathaniel. Even though Pepper never physically gave birth to her son, there was a quick connection between the two moms. She has great advice for keeping Peter's brain fresh in an environment such as this. Laura also doesn't question the boy's theoretical future riches, like the woman in the city always tended to do.

Laura's children have been amazing too. They aren't Ned - Peter misses his best friend so much - but they've spent their days running around the farm together. Cooper spends the first day teaching Peter how to harvest chicken eggs so they can have a fresh homemade breakfast, something Peter could have never imagined at his old home. Lila, the oldest of the family, has taught the two boys some secret hiding places, which have created quite the amazing hide and seek games with Natasha the super spy trying to track them down.

Life is good here. They've made a family of their own, though Pepper knows it won't last forever. There's another family waiting for Peter - a past in New York that can't be easily ignored. Pepper and Tony have have found some sort of standstill peace for the time being, but how long will it last. Summer will be ending soon, and there's a whole other life waiting for her boy at home.

At least Peter isn't missing his toys anymore. A few of the boy's most prized possessions have joined them - shipped to Clint's work address and brought home after his last shift. Pepper may have shed some tears as she watched her little boy react to his plush spider, as joyful as a dog being returned to his owner after years of being apart. He doesn't even bother to hide his emotions from the other children. He shows the toy off with all the excitement and playfulness of any well adjusted boy.

Pepper made the choice to pull Peter from his life so abruptly. She did this to Peter. No one else. She made his life difficult.

But then she has to admit the other side of the decision. Even if her son misses his best friend and some of the challenges of his advanced schooling, they're living a good life. He's learning to appreciate the bounties of nature, how to give back to the world around him. He's learning to interact with all different types of friends. And mostly, he's learning that he can make positive relationships with others, being loved by someone doesn't always have to come with strings. Those are valuable lessons that he can't learn in a classroom.

Yet the seasons are starting to change, and Pepper knows she needs to make a choice soon. As she sits at the edge of the lake sipping a mimosa with her best girlfriends by her side, and the two boys splashing in the lake happily, she knows this won't last forever. Their time here is going to change soon. Things always have to change.

* * *

"So I've been talking with my therapist..."

"Hmm?" Pepper lets him continue.

"Yeah. They think I'm doing better. I mean... it doesn't feel like I am? But I'm trying, you know? I still have a lot to sort through."

Pepper nods. She's been sorting through a lot of her own worries lately. It's good to hear she's not the only one trying to better herself.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is... I'm sorry. You deserved better. I know I've said that before, but every time you forgive me for something, I find more shitty things I've done."

"It wasn't easy leaving, Tony. I was terrified, but I had to do what was best for Peter. I appreciate that you've given us some time to think. I've been thinking a lot lately."

"Yeah. No worries," he sighs on the other end of the phone. Pepper can tell he's walking on bombshells. She is too.

As much as she loves the farmhouse and is unknowing of the future, she knows the truth. Tony will always be a part of Peter's future. They're kin, and Peter is the future heir to the Stark Industries fortune. There's so much more Peter needs to learn from his father. Not only does Pepper's heart ache from her lost puppy dog romance, but it aches for the little boy that needs his dad.

"Have you decided what school Peter will be attending in the Fall? I've saved his spot here, in case you guys decide to return home..."

"I don't know how that would work. I don't think we're ready to live in the penthouse again. That's too much, too quickly."

There's a few moments of silence; Pepper knows it as the sound Tony's brain makes when it works through a complicated problem.

"You could move into another suite in the tower. Or maybe another building. I'd even offer to pay for it, if that's what you wanted."

"I don't know, Tony. I'd be lying if I said I haven't been thinking about returning. It's just such a big step. You weren't good to me. I won't justify treatment like that any longer. I'm better than that now."

"I know. I'll keep seeing the counselor and learning to be better. You can have complete freedom if you return, raise Peter however you wish. I just want you to come home."

Pepper shakes her head. "You know why it could never be that way."

"Then what? What do you want to make it that way? I'm willing to do anything to make this right."

There's only one thing that will protect the bond between mother and son. Something that should have been done from the very beginning.

"I want joint custody of Peter. I am his mother. I want to be legally protected."

"I'll get the paperwork started right away."

* * *

"I used to have nothing. And then I got this. This job. This family. And I was... I was better because of it. Now you two are leaving. And I'm still trying to be better."

Pepper wraps her arms around Natasha, doing her best not to let a whole waterfall of tears escape her eyes. She doesn't want to break down with her son so close, but her friendship with the nanny has blossomed into such lovely kinship. It's stressful to return to New York with such an uncertain future ahead of them, but without Natasha's help, this final chance for Tony would have never been possible. Their family would have been ripped apart, with a possibility of a very lost mother and a very lonely son. Natasha brought them to safety. She saved them.

"You know, you don't have to leave. I'm getting a place away from Tony, at least for the time being. I have enough money saved up for a nice apartment in New York for a few years, but who knows what kind of protection a simple doorman could really provide. Peter's still a Stark. He's bound to get into a lot of trouble."

Natasha tilts her head confused. It only makes a laugh work through Pepper's body.

"What I'm saying is that I could really use a roommate. Someone with kick ass ninja skills. Someone Peter already likes. Know anyone like that?"

Clint raises his hand in the background to volunteer, only earning a playful smack from his wife.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to put Peter in danger..." Natasha holds her arm unsure. Even with her entire past revealed, she still worries that her lifestyle could be used as blackmail for the innocent pair. She wouldn't want to harm them in any way, but she's unsure where she'd go now that her stay at the farm is coming to a close.

"Of course I'm sure. You're my best friend," Pepper says, pulling the spy's hands away. She's not allowed to doubt her self worth anymore. None of them are.

"Besides, you don't trust Tony," she says in muttered breath. "I know you've been supportive about us going back. Peter had to move back eventually, and there's no way I could let him go alone. I don't even know if I can completely trust that man after everything he's done. But he's trying. He's compromising for us. I have to at least give Peter a chance at a normal life."

"I know. It just hurts. I don't think I've loved anyone more before, Pepper. I was willing to give up everything for you two."

"Then give it all up again," Pepper says, looking at the Bartons thankfully. "Come keep us safe."

* * *

The paperwork is done. Tony's son is coming home.

It's been a difficult last few months for the genius, a long time reflecting on the way he's treated the people around him. With no way to force them home - at least not without possibly pushing them away forever - he's done the only thing possible. He's tried to better himself and prove that he can do better. He went to therapy. And he's honestly doing his best to listen to what Pepper has to say.

Tony knows he wasn't always wrong, but he's come to learn that he wasn't always right either. Some situations were much more complicated than wrong or right, requiring a more delicate touch and an open mind. Something he didn't often have. His brain was too clouded from his very painful childhood. A past that left the man with very little coping skills or willingness to reach out to the people around him.

Tony's only goal was to do better than his father did to him, and while he did accomplish that task, it wasn't enough. He wasn't being the best father he could be, he was only barely scraping by in his care for Peter. He protected him from harm, mostly. And he made sure he was clothed and fed, but that was never enough. Tony now understands that human beings need more. And there's no excuse for the way he treated his boy, with neglect and constant judgement.

He also knows he treated Pepper worse. He doesn't know what he could ever do to make it up to her, but he's going to take their relationship one day at a time. He's going to listen, and see what he can do to help the woman get back on her feet, even if it means they don't ever date. Tony loves her too much to never see her again - it was one of the first realizations he came to - and he has since the day she stood up against him to keep Peter. The son that Tony nearly tossed away like trash. The billionaire owes her everything for her bravery that day.

So he listens. Pepper asks for space, and Tony gives it to her. He doesn't snoop, or try to track the phone number to find out where she's hiding. He promises to let her take some time away to think, and they spend nearly the entire Summer at an undisclosed location. Far away from what Tony has declared their home.

He only gets to speak with Pepper once a week, partly as a favor towards Peter. The boy misses his father at times, and getting a few words from his babbling boy each week brings Tony something to look forward to. His boy sounds happy, well adjust to his new home. He's doing wonderfully away from all the stress of the big city. It lightens the load in Tony's heart.

Tony also gets to speak with Pepper sometimes, though only when their boy is already sleeping. The conversation always starts difficult - as the two adults are careful to not upset each other - but it always ends with Pepper's beautiful voice laughing by the end, usually as she explains some silly story their son. The tension always fades by the end of the conversation, and Tony finds he's fascinated by the things she has to say. When he actually stops to listen to her, she's actually pretty upfront with what she wants.

So when the opportunity presents itself, Tony does what he should have done so long ago.

 _"I want joint custody of Peter. I am his mother. I want to be legally protected."_

 _"I'll get the paperwork started right away."_

That's what brings him to where he is right now. Standing in a shopping mall food court in Indiana waiting for his family to return. It was a bit of a drive, but they both agreed a public middle location was best for this. Tony's still not exactly sure where they were staying all Summer, but if this is middle ground, he knows Peter is likely already tired from a long day's drive. Still he can't wait to see him.

His heart pounds as he waits in the small area. Voices chatter around him, various sounds clanging in the background. He hears something large being jammed into a soapy sink in one of the small restaurants, and it throws him back to the time of his own head being slammed under the water, causing his heart to pound against the arc reactor with undeserved anxiety. He wants to flee, or at least put sunglasses over his face to hide his stress from the world around him, but he knows how much he shouldn't. He has too much to lose right now.

The glasses were one of the things Pepper hated most - she even told him over the phone recently. They're a symbol of him hiding himself from her, something that he's trying really hard to not do anymore. They need to be open and honest with each other if they're going to succeed with co-parenting Peter.

So instead he takes deep breaths and practices one of the techniques his therapist has been teaching him. He names things he can see, touch, smell, feel, and hear. He takes deep breaths, making sure his brain has enough oxygen to properly function. And he reminds himself that he's safe. No one's going to hurt him here.

At least no one was going to hurt him. He's not to enthused when he sees Natasha Romanoff walk in - the spy that slipped her way into their family dynamic and brought his child half way across the country. The spy seems different than before, with blonde chopped hair and a peaceful expression, at least as peaceful as a twisted mind like hers can have. Tony doesn't like it.

Tony squeezes his fist as he tries to stay calm, wondering why she would bother to show her face here. It fills the man with rage to see her here now. Some nerve she has. This day was supposed to be about him, and his reunion with his son, but she's probably showing up to veto Pepper's decision, steal his son away from him once more. He won't allow it.

But then Pepper falls in behind the spy, and they laugh together. This isn't a personal attack. This is just Pepper making her own friends, and not letting her complicated relationship with Peter's father get in the way with the kinships she's made. She's making her own decisions that he doesn't like - something Tony's therapist warned him about, but something he wasn't exactly prepared for. He's not used to things not going his way, but it's something that's going to happen more often.

But Pepper's laughing. And she seems genuinely happy. Tony has no right stepping in and causing a scene. It's not his place.

His only job right now is to be a father. There's a young boy somewhere around here who's eagerly waiting to see his dad for the first time in months. Tony barely waits a few more breaths before that little boy is barreling around his mother and rushing towards Tony with the biggest smile upon his face. Peter jumps into the air at his dad, leaving Tony barely enough time to catch him. There's tears in his eyes as he wraps his little arms around his dad's neck.

"Daddy! I missed you so much!"

"I missed you too, buddy," Tony says as he holds Peter tight. "How was the farm?"

"There were chickens and cows and horsies and sheep and I made lots of friends, but I missed you. Maybe next time you can come too?"

Tony knows that isn't possible. Even if they ever find their way back to the farm, that's Pepper's safe space. He's wouldn't be comfortable invading it. The one thing that he's learned during this time is that she needs her own space and time to rewind without Tony watching over her shoulder. It's good for both of them to have their own space, something she never really had while living in Tony's tower.

But he humors his son anyway, since the boy doesn't really know what happened. "Maybe one day," Tony says, though the expression given to Pepper assures her otherwise.

"I have our bags in the car. I was just thinking we could get a quick bite to eat before hitting the road again. How does that sound, Tony?"

Tony puts his son on the ground and looks at the dirty food court around him. He can smell the grease from across the room. It gathers as bile in his throat. Plus he's not really fond of having any sort of meal with Natasha. That would show some sort of truce for the time being, which just feels wrong.

But then he sees Pepper and her good graces. He sees Peter standing nearby, ogling at cinnamon rolls shining through a glass display, and the father can't think of anywhere else he'd rather be.

"I think that sounds perfect."

 _And I think it's gonna be a long long time  
'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to find  
I'm not the man they think I am at home  
I'm a rocket man_

* * *

 **5 Years Later**

Peter smiles at the spider plushie sitting on his dresser. It's a reminder of a simpler time, before high school crushes and physics homework.

His life has advanced so much in such a small time span. He has a better understanding of the world around him now, and a more accurate grasp on what's expected of him. He's the of Tony Stark, after all. That means he he won't always have an easy life. There's threats and consequences to his actions that he can't escape. They can't be helped when your father is an Avenger, and you're an unexpected social media star with over over five million followers. Every bit of energy he puts into this world comes with an equal risk.

He's on the right path, though. He's sure of it. He can feel it in his heart. He's not being forced to take over Stark Industries. It's something he's looking forward to. He's still pursuing his schooling in the meantime - with a special interest in bioengineering - but it won't hurt if he shadows his dad on weekends, taking an internship position as he learns the inner workings of the company.

The boy's music plays gently in the background as he finishes his last tasks before heading out for the day. It's still very early in the morning, and Peter can feel the tiredness in his eyes, but he knows this going to be a good day. He's been waiting for this day for weeks. The day his classmates get to explore some of the projects going on at Oscorp.

With his bag packed and his teeth brushed, he slides down the short hallway to grab a quick snack. His mom is dressed in a bathrobe, already heating up a pot of coffee for the day's tasks. She always seems to be a few steps ahead of him, even on the day where he needs to leave two hour early for his field trip. He wouldn't have it any other way.

"Morning mom," he says, taking a seat at the kitchen counter, grabbing an apple from the bowl. "How did you sleep?"

"Oh, you know. Barely slept due to your father's snoring. The usual," she says with a smile.

Peter can't help but laugh. Due to his father's extended work hours, he's often tired enough to shake the whole building with his snoring.

"Was he really up that late last night? I thought FRIDAY was nearly finished."

"She nearly was, but then he had to make her better. You know how much he's missing JARVIS, it's going to take a long time for him to get past those feelings."

Pepper rounds the table and places a kiss on her boy's forehead. There's a sadness in the whole family for the loss of JARVIS, but Tony is definitely taking it the hardest. Peter just wishes there was something more he could do to help his dad, take some of the load from his shoulders. He doesn't feel like he's doing enough.

"I'm here to see you off, and drive you to school if you need it. I wasn't sure."

"Thanks mom, but Natasha's coming to pick me up. I'll see you later tonight though," he says throwing his bag over his shoulder.

"Family movie night at eight o'clock. Don't be late."

"I won't mom," he says rolling his eyes as he heads through the suite entrance. "Love you!"

"I love you too, Peter. So much."

* * *

"Hey there, short stuff. How's life?"

"You know. Working hard. I get to shadow my dad in the lab sometimes now, though mom made me promise to not touch anything too dangerous.."

Natasha nods in reply. She's barely paying attention to the road as they drive, one hand resting on the steering wheel, but Peter isn't worried. She has the best reaction time of any person he's ever met. And despite all of his efforts to sneak up and surprise her, she always seems to hear him coming. Peter doesn't know how she does it.

"And how's your friend. Ned?"

"He's good. The team is meeting this weekend to practice strategy. If we can win at the competition this year, it'll look great on our college applications."

"Isn't it a bit early to be worrying about college applications?"

"Not if you want to get into Harvard."

Peter knows his father's money could get him into any college in the world. He doesn't want that. He's going to earn his spot like everybody else.

"And what about that girl that you're always whispering about to Ned. How is she?"

"What girl?" Peter asks, blush spreading across his cheeks as he melts into his seat.

"Aj?"

Peter shrinks into his seat as much as he possibly can. When that fails, he looks out the window, but it doesn't help the pink dancing across his cheeks.

"Kj?"

"MJ! Okay? It's Mj. And she's doing good."

"I know, Peter. I'm just fooling around because I love you. I worry about you. You know that, right?"

"Is it just worry about Peter day today? I'm doing okay. I don't need everyone watching over me, you know. I'm fourteen years old."

"It's because you have people who care about you. People who are watching over you."

Peter knows how true that is, and he's thankful. He's got so many people in his life - Pepper, Tony, Natasha, Happy, Ned, and Clint - that he barely gets a moment of peace. And even when there's no one around, he has this weird sense that kicks in. A presence surrounds and keeps watch over him. There's no way to explain it, but he could only describe it as some sort of guardian angel.

Something that makes no sense scientifically. That's what leaves him so boggled about it. Angels aren't real. It's probably too many energy drinks.

But he's thankful for all the praise and love he receives. He just yearns for the day when has something all his own.

* * *

This always happens. Peter always manages to get lost on these field trips. It has to be some sort of family curse.

He winds his way through another confusing hallway with no signs, before taking a moment to take deep breaths and text his friend. At least he has someone to cover for him as he tries to navigate which turn was the wrong turn, that way he won't get in too much trouble when he reunites with his classmates. Maybe the teacher won't even realize he slipped away to pee.

Peter's sure he's got it now. This has to be the right way. He remembers walking through an unmarked door on the way here.

The boy puts his hand on the door handle and a cold breeze sends shivers down his pine. Something is warning him not to go in there - that this is the absolutely wrong way. But now his curiosity is peaked, and he thought he saw cages through the peek of the door. Could this be one of the bioengineering labs he's been fantasizing so much about?

The teenager spends a few seconds debating a quick glance of the contents inside the lab, but decides it isn't worth it. He turns back towards his class instead.

Those few moments of debate are all it takes. A spider crawls up the boy's pant leg, and his life changes forever.


End file.
